a larger than normal percentage of nerds in general.
a larger than normal percentage people concerned about stuff going in or out of their or some body.
a larger than normal percentage of fucking potty mouthed people.
Hi, belch did I miss anything?
I took my trainer’s advice and swore off legal dog parks a decade ago; between the disease, the dogfights and the dogshit, there just wasn’t and isn’t enough worthwhile reasons to bother.
(I say “legal” because the only dog gathering area that I ever felt comfortable with was an informal- illegal- one located in a very small park in my neighborhood. It was situated on a steep hill that acted like a natural fence of sorts for the rear of the park where the dog folks gathered. Very low-key, never too many dogs, everyone super-conscientious about both their mess and their dogs’ behavior.)
People who visit parks think they got it bad, but you should try working at one like I do.
I run a dog park-run and sitting service in my home town. I go to the local park 5 days a week (sometimes more) for hours at a time with different groups of dogs. I am well known by all the regulars, and a lot of people have heard ‘good things about me’ from others. I am known for jumping into dog fights and breaking them up before the owners can even get to them. I carry a taser (I use the sound to startle the dogs out of the ‘fight’ state of mind–will only ever use the taser itself on a dog if the dog is actually attacking a dog in an attempt to kill or latching onto a person), a baton (used to give me extra reach to separate the dogs), and pepper spray (which at this point is to protect me from aggressive owners…). I am so well known that I get treated like park security and everyone brings their problems and questions to me.
I will admit, I kind of like it. 
All the dogs, even the ones I don’t work with, seem to love me. I’m the epitome of a dog person.
Now, I get lucky. Most people who have aggressive dogs avoid my shifts at the park. Once that taser fires off because of a fight, the people with the aggressive dog pack up and leave. Most of the more violent attacks at this park happen when I’m not there. Just two weekends ago, a guys dog kept attacking other dogs and finally punctured a dogs face, yelled the people confronting him and tried to leave with his dog (but the people wouldn’t let him get out). Police came and forced him to give up information to the other owner. I bet they end up in court…
What I hate are ‘water bottle Mamas’. You know, the very nervous women who come into the off leash dog park and spray the other dogs because she doesn’t want them playing ‘rough’ with her smaller, younger, or new dog… I’ve had a friend (a female body builder at that) just yell at a woman to not spray her dog. “It’s just water–”
We don’t care. Do NOT spray the dogs.
That woman never came back…
More so, don’t just assume every large dog is aggressive… All sizes of dogs may growl or mouth as they play. They are dogs… All because they are big does NOT mean they are any less gentle than the smaller dogs… I have a rot-boxer mix that I work with that people have nicknamed ‘the tank’ and ‘the gentle giant’. He growls and mouths when he plays, but he’s big, so I often will intervene if I think his size is overwhelming a smaller dog (though most smaller dogs like to play with him because he’s so gentle). However, when smaller dogs want to play, they often will pounce on him, then he will paw them, they roll over in submission, still pawing at him, he drops into the butt in the air play stance, and will mouth them with his extremely slobbery gums. Most owners just laugh because he’s so gentle, but new people just flip their sh!t.
The worst he’ll do is have you taking home a soaking wet dog because he is such a big drooler.
Sadly for them, I’m in the ‘big’ section of the dog park. Unless he is doing something wrong, it is not my job to hold him the entire time so that their dogs can run freely about. If I think he’s actually scaring a dog, I’ll make him play with a dog his size or not play at all. However, there is a small section and owners need to remember that it’s their job to put their dog where they are comfortable, not to force the people of large dogs to have to contain theirs in the section made for them.
Most people who dislike how ‘the gentle giant’ plays have dogs who play the EXACT same way with other dogs, only they aren’t as big as him, so, you know, dog-parent logic… “My dog is small, so it’s okay if he does it–” Sorry, no… If one dog can’t do it, then no dog should do it…
I am lucky to be as known in the park as I am. When someone tries to say my dogs are ‘being rough/aggressive’, a number of people will stand up for me and go; “No, s/he is not. He’s a sweetheart and is playing incredibly gently. He’s just making noise”.
If any of my dogs show aggression for no reason, I am on it like a dog on a bone. I will not tolerate it. I will not allow it. When one of my dogs gets ‘humpy’ (he only targets young puppies), I will ‘out’ him. Usually, it takes one outing to get through to him, but if I out him three times, I put him in timeout and he gets to sit alone and out of reach of the other dogs until they leave or until 10 minutes have passed. He’s fixed mind you. He’s just a pedophile…
We recently had a woman screaming at other owners to ‘leave’ because she felt their dogs played too rough with hers (it was completely happy being part of it). Everyone at the park kept saying; “They were just playing.”
“NO! That is NOT play! That is not acceptable in a dog park!”
I got to say, when one person disagrees with you, you may be correct. When an entire park disagrees with you, you’re probably wrong…
Funnier is when people like her follow up their anger by saying; “This is why I don’t like to come here!”
You know, if that’s how you feel… STOP FRICKEN COMING HERE!!!
As one of my friends said, owning a dog doesn’t make you a ‘dog person’. It makes you a dog owner…
Today I had to warn a woman she can be banned from the park.
She has a VERY humpy 5 month old dog and indicated she won’t be getting him fixed (ever). I informed her of the park rules. She goes on about how they don’t apply, everyone breaks them, this that, etc.
She tried to tell me I was breaking the rules for having more than 2 dogs per handler. I informed her that “I work with the park and they know I am here. I have leeway on that rule.” More so, I am considered a ‘professional walker’ by the park and the people in the park, not a ‘handler’. The rule is placed because the average owner can barely contain ONE dog, let alone 3 or more.
The logic she had was just silly… By her logic, since people kill people despite it being against the law, I too then can kill people… (extreme example, but you get my point).
After warning her she can be banned, I go to sit on a bench (my dogs follow) because I have an injured rib. She ends up talking on her phone as her dog begins stalking other dogs to hump. She can’t control him. She can barely catch him at times…
Sadly, now I think she’ll be my enemy and so I can’t help her.
One things owners learn from me is that a dog needs not just love, but firmness and dedication to the ‘rules’ you set in place. I warn owners all the time that; “I can train them to behave with me. If you don’t do the same things I do, they will not be the same for you.” This happens quite a bit. There are dogs at the park that I work with, but when they come with the owner, they will listen better to me. Many will even try to STAY with me instead of leaving with their owner.
Just today I had a boxer not want to go, so I had to lead her out to her mom, and then I had a Bernese Mountain dog refusing to get out of my car to go back into his house… That was a fun battle… Haha.
I am lucky that I have many so many friends at the local park that my shifts there are generally very calm and without hassle. The occasional scuffle happens, but those are dealt with easily…
People often ask why I don’t bring my own dog to the park. My dog is a PTSD service dog who I trained since she was 12 weeks old. She’s a 65lb Australian Cattle Dog. Oh, and to cover a much earlier post about working dogs…
A service dog (working dog by some people’s definition) cannot clamp down on another dog or pin it unless in an act to protect itself. If the owner is allowing the dog to ‘play’, then the working dog is no longer ‘working’. You may only not touch/distract a service dog when it is actively servicing. I once had my dog in her vest at a much bigger and open park to help someone find us. A guys dog ran up to her and got her attention. The man immediately began apologizing and I said; “Don’t worry. She’s not working right now.” and just smiled and let them meet. Another woman asked me if she was ‘allowed to play’. I said; “Yes, she’s allowed to play. Sadly, she doesn’t…”
I took the vest off once my friend found us in the sea of dogs. My dog loves to meet and be around other dogs, but the chances of her playing are about 1% and she REALLY has to know the dog. Even then, she mostly just chases them a bit because of her herding instinct.
If ever a service dog is at a dog park and is actively playing, it’s not servicing. You can touch it. If someone flips out on you, you can be direct with them. The more you know about service dogs, the easier you can call someone’s BS–like I often have to do with people claiming ‘service dog’ when it’s clearly not…
Anyways, I should go to bed. I’m already 30 minutes past my bedtime and I have to head back to the dog park in the morning. Haha.
My rules of the dog park are as followed;
If you don’t like that dogs don’t all play the way yours does to the point it angers you, don’t come to the dog park.
If you don’t like other dogs running up on yours in an off-leash dog park (not in an aggressive way, but a happy dog way), don’t come to a dog park!
If you don’t like the rules that apply to the park because you’re clearly breaking them, don’t come to the dog park!
If you are scared sh!tless and paranoid out your A$s about dogs around yours, don’t come to the dog park…
If you don’t want to share your shiny new balls with the other dogs, don’t bring the toys to the dog park!
**
HOWEVER,** if you want to bring your dog to a park to socialize with other dogs, knowing that every once in a while something might go wrong, but that dogs, like people, are all unique and have their own personalities, and you’re alright with your dog learning how to react and behave around all these personality, are willing to take responsibility for your dogs actions and generally love dogs and want them to be happy–COME TO THE DOG PARK!
To those who have had a bad experience, this is what I can say…
Don’t let ONE bad experience scare you for life.
If you see a repeat offender, contact the owners of the park. They CAN and WILL be banned if enough people report them.
If a dog attacks, call the police. If a dog is hurt and the people try to run, follow them to their car and take down that license plate! Running away after a dog attacks can be, and often is, considered a crime.
Overall, just do what you feel is best for your dog. If you’re not comfortable, then do what feels right.
Sometimes, you need to find the right park.
Have a lovely night! 
Sorry for any weird errors.
Well, fuck me.
Again!
Interesting set of paragraphs, huh?
You ‘warn’ a woman she can be banned from the park for not following the rules, and scoff at her for saying they don’t apply to her.
And then you admit that YOU don’t follow the rules but that’s okay, because the rules don’t apply to YOU because you are awesome and special. (As you told us at great length.)
Maybe the point would be clearer if the first quoted paragraph was:
“Sorry, no… If one [oerson accompanying dogs] can’t do it, then no [people accompanying dogs] should do it…”
Oh, zombie thread!
Our local dog park has had to re-institute the “all dogs must be leashed” rule because of all the fights which have broken out within the last year or so.
Look, I’d love to let mine off leash. They’d love it too. But I care too much about them to do that.
Anyone who has been to places with lots of dogs knows that some people can control 3 or 4 better than others can control one. It is not one person not doing it, it is one dog not doing it.
I take my dog to the field behind the school across the street. There was a poodle who was jumpy and humpy, unfixed, and whose owners could not control him. The other dog owners finally ostracized them. No one owns or controls the field, but peer pressure has kept obnoxious dogs (and obnoxious owners) away.
You absolutely did the right thing and idk what that idiot woman was thinking. I am the owner of a service dog and I’m sorry but her dog’s vest should NOT have been on at the dog park and if the dog is working he shouldn’t be in the park at all. You don’t pet a working service animal because petting him distracts him from his job…so this woman didn’t think PLAYING with another dog was a distraction? Moron. When I take my SD to the dog park, the vest comes off and he knows it is time for PLAY. That is his time off, where he can play, get pets from people, etc. I’m sorry that woman was such an asshole to you but just know that SHE was the asshole, not you.
Hope kbear sees that… he/she asked that question 5 years ago.
And that’s, like, 35 in dog years.
Mic drop…
Slow clap…