Seven months ago, I was going through intense physical training with my best friend. I could have quit university to earn an honest living as a firefighter. Perhaps I was deluding myself, but I had approached a good physical and mental state, slept well, had something to look forward to in the long term.
Fuck you for the flares of pain I get in my now useless back from lifting ten pounds or bending down or moving suddenly or from just fucking existing. Fuck you for the octogenarian’s joints at twenty-two.
Fuck you for the bursts of panic every time I hear someone slamming on their brakes.
Fuck you for killing any hope of making a living through physical work. Doubly fuck you for leaving only the yuppy larva nests of the lecture halls, the statist circlejerk outside, and the office dronedom beyond.
Fuck you in the goat ass for the emasculating glares when I am forced to let my SO carry the bulk of the groceries.
Fuck you above all for the feeling of worthlessness. I hope your member rots off and that somebody thoroughly sodomizes you with a glass bottle and breaks it off inside your ass.
Doesn’t that suck? I’ve been going through that for years, it still bugs me. I drove a friend to a home improvement store one time to pick up some plywood, and he asked for help loading it because I cant help lift that stuff due to my back…The drone at the counter accused me of faking it.
I’ve watched my dad suffer terribly over the past year or so with the aftereffects of a car accident and it’s terrible…he was so strong, so capable before and now there’s so much he can’t do. I don’t hate the person who hit him, because it was one of those rare true accidents all around (and the poor guy is only 17, and immediately got out of his car in panicked tears and told my dad over and over how sorry he was), but I will join you in hating this guy in the (likely) event that he is not as blameless.
Anyone who looks at you in a shitty manner because you have to let a female carry your groceries needs their own fucking in the goat ass. Grrr.
–Meenie, bearer of groceries each week for her dad, and smiter of creeps.
Me thinks I’d have had a good long talk with this asshats manager if I were you. I went through about 2 years of this before I finally had my back surgery. I can’t count the number of people with whom I’ve had a nice little talk to. (and by talk, it usually meant dirty glares and me flipping them the bird)
But here’s to Paladud, hoping you can make good progress and regain what you lost, I’ll be rooting for you. And I agree with you about the guy who put you in this ordeal, dirty bastard.
So you wanted a physically challenging job like fighting fires, and this dumbass that hit you took that possibility away. I am sorry-that sucks.
But surely there are jobs that you can still do, enjoy and be good at that don’t involve “yuppy larva nests of the lecture halls, the statist circlejerk outside, and the office dronedom beyond.”
Do you have an Occupational/Rehab therapist? It’s bad enough that you have lost your health; you have to do something about your career.
Paladud, I know where you’re coming from. I was hit on my bicycle almost four years ago. You need to lose the bitterness, it’s holding you back. You have time to find another career but you need to deal with what happened. I’m sorry if this sounds harsh but you can’t spend your life dwelling on what you can’t do anymore but work on what you can still do and be glad you survived. Good luck.
Like-minded condolences. My right leg turned close to useless the day I turned 17, because of what I’ve understood to be a nerve in clamp in my thigh. It supports my weight, but not much more.
It really sucks, I know, to be in the prime of your physical growth and be missing out on so many of life’s good things. Some things I took for granted, like being able to run if I was missing my train . . .
Anyhow, here’s to hoping you got that asshole in the wallet.
I wrote an email to their corporate office. Their manager called me and assured me it would be taken care of. they even sent me a gift card…
back surgery helped a lot…now as long as I don’t move much I don’t have to even take pain killers…one bottle of vicoden has lasted me 5 years now. But I had hoped for a lot more.
the bad thing about back injuries is that you look fine, and have days where you feel fine and move fine. people therefore assume you are faking it…and people who assume because they have muscle pain when they work in the yard some times that they know what your going through and it’s not that bad.
This is one of my personal crusades - increasing awareness of how dangerous driving is, and trying to get people (and governments) to take it seriously and effect some laws that would force people to have to learn to do something with this much potential for damage properly. Tens of thousands of deaths by car every year is inexcusable; hundreds of thousands of people who have had their lives changed by permanent injuries is so far beyond acceptable the mind boggles when you think of it.
I was walking home from the super market, across the circle it’s on. I stood there for ages waiting for a break in the traffic…since of course it’s an unrestricted intersection. Walked across and got plowed into. This at high noon like the bitch couldn’t even see me. Just got a bump on the knee…I thought. Till it turned into a blood infection and my legs swelled up like tree trunks.Only been the last month or so I could cross my legs well enough to not make putting on my shoes a major project. To say nothing of walking anywhere.
I don’t know who I hate more, the idiot who can’t see a perfectly good pedestrian right in front of them, or the state of New Jersey who seems to think walking should be illegal…hence the unrestricted intersections and the incredible lack of sidewalks.
And we wonder why Americans are so fat. And why we need health care before we all end up as road kill.
A friend of mine was rear-ended while stopped at a light. His car was totaled and he got two cracked vertebrae and a crushed disk in his lower back. He’d just finished going to a vocational school for aeronautic electronics and was working part time while waiting for a good full time slot to open. The insides of planes require lots and lots of twisting and contorting to fit into small spaces, as well as heavy lifting in awkward positions.
Yep, he’s not going to be doing any of that ever again. He has never been able to use the skills he trained for due to that physical limitation. After about a decade and three surgeries he’s reasonably active, but he still has a cane for bad days. One of his hobbies is putting on armor and bashing at other guys in armor with a blunted sword, so he’s not crippled, but he is limited in the kinds of movements he can do without hurting.
On the other hand, his life isn’t crap. He’s got a decent place in the Phoenix area, nice car, supportive wife, makes more money than I do. The accident will make things suck for a while, but it will only screw up your entire life if you let it.
Vent, Vent, and if you need to Vent some more,
I was involved in a crash in early 01, my back and some times neck still bother me (my back is now mostly discomfort especially sleeping) on a bad day I cant lift shit.
totally avoidable, total bs, and I didnt get shit from his insurance (my lawyer was a friggin dink)
make sure you pursue him for a big ole fat settlement,
and yeah you do have to move beyond this at some point, you will always have days of regret but you cannot let that dominate you.
I am currently and seriously looking for an sba loan or investors for something related to this very subject. as a driver training instructor its in my face constantly and I also believe its way past time for a change.
