To The Idiot Who Destroys Air Pumps

You’ve got what you want Cohagen, now give these people air!

/Quaid

I discovered yesterday that the butterfly’s fart worth of air produced by my cheap-shit portable compressor—which would probably serve to inflate balloon-animal components, given an audience of extraordinarily patient children who demanded nothing more complex than a pink snake—did not perceptibly increase the pressure in the low tire of my wife’s SUV after 15 minutes of whirring and groaning. We also have a rash of hose-cutters in this area, so maybe it’s time to invest a few more bucks in a working model.

And I’ve used a bicycle pump for the same purpose. Yeah, it takes awhile, but so does driving around to six gas stations.