At least, the spider outside my window doesn’t have access to a computer!
Checks to make sure the windows really don’t open
The spider story only gets creepy if its web spells out “SOME LAWYER” – to be followed at a later date by “RADIANT,” etc.
Naah. At least with a pig, you can give it a buttermilk bath and clean it up… 
Apologies if you take offense, Malthus. Your profile doesn’t specify your occupation, and you brought up the lawyer figure…
Nah, this story only gets scary if there’s a surprise ending where you look at the web and there’s a fly trapped in it WITH MALTHUS’S FACE and it’s SCREAMING. 
None taken. A lawyer without a sense of humour is … well … a lawyer! 
That’s good … but even better would be is the SPIDER had my face, on closer inspection! 
Years ago, when I worked in downtown Los Angeles, one of our attorneys had a peregrine falcon nesting on the ledge outside his window. It was really cool to go and watch the beautiful birds on their nest and see the homely little chicks later on. Of course, once the parents started bringing home gruesome dead pigeons to rip up and feed the chicks, some folks stopped bird-watching.
Ok, FWIW, I’ve always been arachnophobic. Snakes, scorpions, heights, etc don’t bother me, but spiders, ehhhhhhhhhhh.
About a month ago, a friend brought over some potting soil to my place so I could plant some basil. It was a Monday night and we were watching Six Feet Under in the dark and I saw the shadow of something large crawling on my arm. I freaked and swatted it off. My friend gave me the strangest look and laughed as I climbed on top of a chair (only shrieking a little bit). I explained that I just saw a spider and it was not a native to Minnesota, far too big. He didn’t believe me so he tried to play fearless-spider killer and lifted up the sofa to look for it. This went on for a minute before the spider came charging out towards my friend. He jumped, yelped, and got out of the way. It managed to hide itself behind the radiators that wrap around the length of the room and put us on spider watch for the next hour and a half. We had a midnight movie we were going to and as we were just giving up to turn off the lights and leave, we spot it under the coffee table. I slowly move the coffee table as he pummeled the spider between the carpet and a pillar candle. I’d never seen a Minnesota spider big enough to have guts splay out when it’s smushed. After that, we moved the potting soil outside as that’s the only thing we could think of that would have brought a big spider in.
I came in to work on Sunday (power outage make-up), and old Shelob was gone! I couldn’t see her anywhere!
I felt sorry for bad-mouthing her - maybe she was eaten by something? Blown away by high winds?
But fear not - Monday morning, she was back in place.
She must only work weekdays.