Every day, you grow a little bigger. Soon you will be in serious Shelob territory.
Every day, you do something yet more gruesome. It is like you have a plan to distract me from work. For hours, I will think: “don’t look at the spider … don’t look at the spider …”; invariably, when I do glance in your direction, you are busy running your hairy legs over some poor bug caught in your web. Today, I nearly barfed at the sight of a bee still writhing slowly as you sucked its guts out; a second fly watched, paralized and helpless, partially wrapped in silk, as you demonstrated its eventual fate.
How the fuck did you crawl up 47 floors anyway? Couldn’t you have chosen a place closer to the ground? Preferably one outside someone else’s window?
And where do you dissapear when it is stormy out or really windy? Yet you are always back again in exactly the same spot.
Every day, you grow a little bigger. Soon you will be in serious fat slob territory.
Every day, you do something yet more gruesome. It is like you have a plan to distract me from work. For hours, I will think: “don’t look at the lawyer … don’t look at the lawyer …”; invariably, when I do glance in your direction, you are busy running your hairy fingers over some poor Statement of Claim caught on your computer screen. Today, I nearly barfed at the sight of a contract still writhing slowly as you sucked its guts out; a second contract watched, paralized and helpless, in your intray, as you demonstrated its eventual fate.
How the fck did you crawl up 47 floors anyway? Couldn’t you have chosen a place closer to the ground? Preferably one inside someone else’s window?
And where do you dissapear when the lights go out? Yet you are always back again in exactly the same spot.
Not sure what lno might have done, but I think I’ve posted my husband’s story about it here before. As a kid he was told to go deal with the wasp (? - to the best of my recollection, could have been hornets) nest outside and given a can of appropriate pesticide to do it with. He got the idea that it’d be even faster if he simply torched the nest via a makeshift flamethrower, so he grabbed a lighter. Soon enough, the nest had caught on fire a bit - and he found flying, fiery wasps were chasing him. He ended up both with stings and with 1st/2nd degree burns.
