You titled this thread ‘To the wackjob at the Girl Scout Cookie sale’ but then didn’t say anything to him in the OP.
rant fail.
Is your comeback usually along the lines of, “Oh yeah? Well the jerk store called and they’re running out of YOU!” Because if so, history tells us you’re better off stewing with indignation.
I think the technical term for that is the “Oh no you di’in’t” Syndrome.
What?
Pleeeeeeeease don’t ask. (It was meant to be “paper towel tubes”, though, as in the cardboard cylinders that paper towels are wrapped around. You don’t want to know. Really.)
How much are the paper towel tubs at the dollar store? I need to get a gift for some lesbian friends.
Because it’s much easier to say, after the fact, “If I were there…” than it is to actually be in a situation so out of the ordinary that your brain freezes up, because it cannot fathom that a crazy person is unloading on a bunch of little girls.
Try to keep up - see Post # 3, et seq. Also, DNFTT, particularly in real life.
Yeah, what did those elves ever do to deserve that?
Well done! 
Around here, it seems like getting Girl Scout cookies is something akin to attempting to find out information about Skull and Bones. I live in Southern California, so there is literally zero logical reason why the kids shouldn’t be wandering the streets in the beautiful sunshine, frolicking and spreading their harlot abortionist ways. I recall years ago, the girls literally coming door to door, though I understand why the kibosh has perhaps been put on that. What makes no sense to me is that I can’t just go on the website, put in my zip code, and it tells me when and where I can show up and hand over my money.
Now, I do have some friends with Girl Scout children, so I can handle it that way. But what if I didn’t? I suppose I feel like they’d make a lot more cash with a slightly better PR team (at least around here)-- the whole city should know it’s cookie time and there should be a handy place where info on where cookie dispensaries are.
As I once said of another poster, he has so much savoir-faire that his l’esprit de l’escalier hits when he’s still à l’étage noble.
God. Reduced to quoting myself? Bad sign.
Sure, I do!
But then you saw the Secret Service agents around him and realized it was Newt Gingrich.
In the movie The Road to Morocco, Bing and Bob are stranded in a bazaar in Morocco, without a penny (dinar) to their names, and they see a man jibbering to himself, wandering among the stalls and carts, and helping himself to the foods that the various merchants are peddling. Bing and Bob try to take advantage of what they think is a free Levantine smorgasbord, and they nearly lose their left hands in the process (don’t worry, this story really IS going somewhere).
The merchant lets them go, but he explains why the crazy guy gets to just take stuff. In this culture, madness is accepted as a sign that the person has been touched by Allah. Thus, by extension, giving him your merchandise without charging him is considered an act of piety, and a way of honoring the person’s direct connection with the Divine.
Back to the cookie sale: you really should have given the guy a box of Thin Mints and sent him on his way.
WHAT??!!! I paid $4 a box! Were those “girls” skimming something off of the price they charged me?
And I’d like to add that “Tagalogs” are pretty disappointing. Next time, I’ll stick with Thin Mints, which seem to be the only cookie they can get right.
Nitpick: the cookies are called “Tagalongs.” “Tagalog” is the language spoken by the people who bake them.
Sorry, I have no qualms with people not always having a snappy retort, of course. And certainly I have also thought of the perfect thing to say, too late.
But when you’re supervising young girls, out in public, I think it behooves you to speak up. I don’t care if you say the ‘right’ thing, but I do care that you have the ovaries to speak up and say something. If you’re too timid or shy, then let someone else cover this duty maybe.
Were it my daughter, being subjected to this guys rant, and the adult just stood there, saying nothing, I’d be less than delighted, I think.
I suspect that it’s been several years since Tapioca Dextrin bought cookies.
No, what I think bup meant by “rant fail” was that the OP didn’t address the OP to the object of the OP’s wrath in the second person, if you see what I mean.
According to the conventions of the “To the…:” rant genre, Mama Zappa shoulda launched into her OP with something along the lines of “Listen, you fetid snot-crusted crazy old loon, where the FUCK did you get the idea that it was okay to give my Scouts a lecture on the GSUSA ‘homosexual agenda’…”
Instead, she gave us all a rationally narrated description of the incident that was distressingly lacking in profanity.
Too bad the webcomic Casey and Andy is no longer being put up. They’d be able to whip together a “Staircase-Wit-O-Mat” just like that. 