Could you get Herbert Kornfield after her?
BD, BD, BD…Your mistake was not in asking her why she was whispering, but in not asking her why she didn’t whisper all the time. After all, every dog in the county would most likely appreciate not having her voice grating on their end of the auditory spectrum, too.
At least your screamer tones it down at your door. Our Queen of Volume stays at the same peak decibel level even when stopping by to drop off inane requests. I swear there’s an invisible auditorium behind me that’s hanging on every word.
Very excellent rant.
Adopt the same tone you would use in talking to a very small child, and explain that “we use our INSIDE voice in the office, punkin!”
Carol Burnette/
Mrs Wiggens
Oh, Mrs Wiggens
/Carol Burnette skit
No, no it’s provincial chicken!
Mmmm, provincial chicken
Holy Christ, BD! Except for the accent, that sounds like my co-worker from hell!
The running around like an idiot in an effort to look busy.
The inner monologue that is never actually “inner”.
The constant yelling, but when she’s right next to you, she’ll whisper like it’s the most goddamned important thing ever to have been spoken in the English language.
The spookiest parts?
The business casual pajama-like outfits that consist of matching shirt and pants made of t-shirt material and slipper-like clogs.
The jelly beans. She’s eating them all day and everytime she grabs another handful, she laments about her huge ass.
AND…we have a David in our office, too!!
Oh, and don’t forget…The date of the attack: 9/11 - 9 + 1 + 1 = 11, September 11th is the 254th day of the year: 2 + 5 + 4 = 11.
Mm-hm. Just saying is all.
The Onion has already written an article about her. Sorry.
You’re not going to believe this. (Or maybe you will.) Her name is Vicky. :eek:
Hehehe…
Seriously, when I tried to shut down the computer before going to bed last night, the blue screen came up.
I immediately thought of this thread!
“I got the blue screen of day-uth!”
I think that’s going to be up there with “Gotcha ya”, “Og Smash!” and “asshats”
You poor, poor man.
And JuanitaTech, I’m glad someone besides me thought of it. I’d be worried otherwise.
May I take this as my sig? Your entire OP cracked me up…I say sit back and have fun with her. She sounds too stupid to know that you’re messing with her head.
I would be honored. Just don’t quote me, it will screw up my vanity searches 
Are you sure she’s not talking to the voice in her head?
I’d say she’s afraid that she’s not sure of a love there is no cure for.
p.s., great rant! Does she also refer to “Access Databases”? I may claw my own eyes out if I here that one more time at this job.
If I have to pick a favorite part, I have to go with
It’s just so…sinister.
Lordy, I hope I’m not anywhere near this annoying, as I’m an admin. :eek:
Esprix
You could have summed that up in five words:
Whitley on “A Different World”.
May I show yet another time the vast expanse of my ignorance? What’s wrong with the term “Access Databases”?
I’ve used Access a lot to create little apps with Access backends. We call them…Access databases.
Damn you. To the darkest pit of the innermost circle of hell do I damn thee, for all eternity do I damn thee. I’ve been trying to eliminate any memory I’ve had of that character because of the high annoyance levels.
must…kill…brain…