You know those times when the universe conspires against you, putting many tiny obstacles and annoyances in your path until they combine to make you realize how much you hate your life, yourself, the world, and every living and dead being in it? That’s today.
My printer stopped working when I upgraded to Ubuntu 7.10. Much of the point of running Ubuntu is that things like that just don’t happen. And they haven’t until now. My local neighbourhood Linux guru was clueless. I ask on an Ubuntu forum. Nothing helpful. I go to an Ubuntu irc channel. I read all the FAQs, stay silent for half an hour to get a feel for the place, and then post a carefully crafted question containing printer model, error message and all other information that might be helpful. No response to three tries over a 24-hour period, while people who join the channel and one nanosecond later post “z0mg it dosnt print dis sux help!!!111” get immediate, polite and comprehensive help.
I need the printer to print out material for my roleplaying session tonight, which I’ve been looking forward to for ages. We’ve been playing this campaign for six months, and tonight is the big showdown between the two surviving players and the mad scientist villain guy. So what do I do? Start handwriting all the stuff I need? I could postpone the meeting, but it’s hard enough to get these guys together; it’ll probably be weeks.
I really should stop playing Magic Online. I get so pissed when I lose. I sometimes get angry when I lose in real life, but on Magic Online it’s magnified by a hundred. Possibly because I feel powerless or something, I don’t know, but two losses (bringing my losing streak to something like six or seven) had me screaming and throwing things across the room today.
I was told by my little brother that my big brother is bringing a Nintendo Wii to Christmas. Yeah, that’s just dripping with tradition and Christmas spirit, isn’t it? Christmas is the one holiday I actually enjoy, the one time in the year when I’ll voluntarily spend time with my relatives and not wish I were somewhere else doing something different. And apparently their idea of Christmas is playing video games. I tried to drop some hints to my little brother that maybe it wasn’t that hot an idea, but he was all “but its funneeeeeee!” and now there’s no way in heaven or on Earth to salvage this. If I try to do anything about it he won’t bring the Wii and then they’ll sulk about it all Christmas, and if they do bring it it won’t be Christmas to me. I’m seriously considering faking illness or something. Well, maybe Christmas next year will be fun.
I’m short on money. How the hell did that happen? I’ve been shitting money for two years straight, being paid more than I need and not doing much with it. Suddenly, last month, with no particular change in habits I can think of (I did start eating more when I started working out more, but not that much more) I ran out of money mid-month. This month I had to take back my monthly deposit to my savings account, and I’ve still been short for a couple of weeks. How the fuck did that happen?
I should be cleaning my apartment. I should go down to the gym. I doubt I’ll do either. Don’t feel like doing any of it, don’t feel like doing much of anything. I don’t want to be in this mood when gamesmastering tonight, so I probably should postpone, but that will mean juggling people’s times and bothering someone who’s already too stressed out for words. But I wanted to do it when I looked forward to it, not like this!
And all this adds up to me hating everything right now. All I want to do is open up those seven beers from various countries I got for my birthday and slip into a hole of self-pity. I feel so fucking tired of my life and everything in it.
And that’s the official “Priceguy being pathetic” post for this financial twelvemonth.