Many years ago, in Los Angeles, there was a meeting of the Middle Earth Model United Nations. We all got together in a lovely tiered-seating classroom at UCLA, and, using the UN plenary rules of procedure, debated the major issues facing Middle Earth.
I was the delegate from Dol Guldur. I spent a lot of time seconding whatever the delegate from Mordor said.
The delegate from Mordor was wonderful: he was surrounded by a weird little black cloud. (He had a toothbrush and a tube of graphite, and would “spritz” the graphite into the air. When he held up his hands – “Friends!” – his palms were black. Very, very effective.)
The delegate from Gondor was the real evil genius of the meeting: by the end of the session, he had persuaded everyone to send the Ring to Minas Tirith. The Stewards of the King had the best established legal right to it, and they had the safest place to defend it. He made concessions to the Elves and Dwarves and got them on board with the idea. Brilliant realpolitik.
If Boromir had just been a little more deft at diplomatic negotiations…
Politics is the continuation of war by other means.
It was one of the most foundational experiences of my life. One really clever deal-maker can craft a bargain that screws everybody, and yet which everybody will go along with because it gives them something they really want. It taught me to fear coalitions almost as much as naked tyranny.
(I did find that I like the plenary rules better than I like Robert’s rules.)
That’s absurd. We know perfectly well that the only thing that can destroy the One Ring is the fires in which it was forged. As the transporter works by disassembling (i.e., destroying), beaming, and then reassembling objects and persons it wouldn’t even get past step one.
Now, you’d have better luck beaming Orodruin to Rivendell and slagging the One Ring that way. Any incidental property damage or elf/dwarf/hobbit casualties would’ve still been much less than the war caused.
