I enjoy reading old posts on occasion, especially those riddled with controversy, name-calling, and other confrontational writing.
After reading several threads in which Tom Dark attempted to enlighten via insult-laden, incredibly sarcastic, while sometimes intelligent-sounding (I stress ‘sounding’), seemingly logical (again, stress ‘seemingly’) postings, I came to this conclusion:
Tom Dark is/was actually Cecil Adams in disguise.
(Gasps from the crowd, even murmurs of ‘blasphemy’ are heard)
I reason thus: despite his misguided ideas, he was incredibly gifted at insults and sarcasm, which caused his writing to be very enjoyable, at least to me, to read. Just like Cecil’s.
Normally, Cecil wouldn’t actually try to spread ignorance. He is, of course, devoted to fighting it. But he did it knowing full well that no right-minded Straight Doper would buy it.
But why? Well, it was a grand, well-orchestrated maneuver, I must admit, but I saw through it. You see, Cecil was preparing for a time when he needed a dupe. A fall guy. A diversion.
By posting his ideas that conflicted with Cecil’s, he created the illusion of a bad guy. With the sarcasm and wit of a Cecil, Tom became the perfect anti-hero, the Lex Luther to Cecil’s Superman, the Dr. Doom to Cecil’s Fantastic Four, the Dan Quayle to Cecil’s George Bush. And who better to create the anti-hero, than the hero himself?
And lo, the time to use this carefully created persona arrived. Cecil needed to gather some information about the Dopers to use as advertising statistics. Knowing that some people might not be prone to providing such information, he produces Tom Dark, super-villain.
“He does not exist,” says Tom, on cue, “Do not provide your information!” And, to facilitate Tom’s eventual needed exit, Cecil has Tom attempt to zing a moderator or two.
So in swoops Ed et al, the rest of the Legion of Super-dopers, to bring down the mighty villain. Cecil benefits from what appears to be attacks from a no-gooder, looking the better man in the process. And those lurkers who were previously scared to come forth with their info are beckoned forth by the good feelings of seeing the villain routed by the hero. Plan fulfilled. A plan so well implemented, the likes of which would not be seen for some time, until the Republicans pulled off a similar feat with a timely leaking of Dubya’s DUI arrest.
The man is truly a genious. All evidence that he truly is ‘the smartest man on earth.’
It is amazing what flows to the keyboard when a mind is bored.
Actually, I wrote this because I hoped someone who reads this could tell me why ‘Tom Dark’ was banned and could point me to the posts that resulted in him being banned. Although I enjoy DavidB and others’ well contructed, intelligent posts, sometimes I enjoy zingy, sarcastic writings of those attempting to argue points that I don’t necessarily agree with.
