Tonights special: apologist apoplexy du rjung

Mohammeds? Goddamn, that’s offensive. When did you become such a racist prick? I mean, you’ve always been a giant prick; I just wanna know when you using such overtly racist terms.

Just two things…

One: To read this:

and then watch him waggle his literary dick in everyone’s face and yell, “I gotcher notoriety right HEEEYAH!!” is fucking priceless.

Two: I was chosen by three student directors to be in their one-acts - one of them had to agree to give me up so I could do the other two. This is proof that I am one of the best actresses on this message board. Anyone who implies otherwise is just jealous of my thespianic magnificence.

I lied. Three: Even when I was still an unmedicated bipolar housewife with associated emotional problems and a 2-pack-a-day cigarette habit, it would never have occured to me to be jealous of you. It’s eight or nine miles past hilarious that even though you’re supposedly a genius, supposedly quite well-off, and supposedly an outstanding parent and member of your community, you’re so insecure you still defend yourself to people on a general-interest Internet message board.

I do it too, but I’m an unpublished college drop-out so I already know I’m inferior. :rolleyes:

Heh.
Alterations mine.

How very sad. It’s one thing to be proud of your achievements, but to have to make up a group of “teachers” when one single person wanted to print out some short fluff piece… to talk about something being “turned into a film” when it’s only some student who wants to film ya… It’s really sad. And what’s worse, I think that he expects people to not only be impressed, but honestly thinks they’ll be jealous!

Jeez… guy writes a funny OP or two and he thinks that he’s Charlie Kaufman.

You’ve got the video dont’cha?
Can you email me a copy? :wink:

Okay, it took til page 7, but I guess I’ll weigh in.

I have no dog in this fight, but I do have observations.

Scylla is a long time, somewhat vocal Doper. Some people absolutely love his stories. And make sure to post about that love in whatever story thread Scylla starts up. Not a problem. Some people occasionally read a Scylla OP and may or may not choose to post anything in the thread. Not a problem. Some people are bored by either Scylla or his style and rarely if ever actually read any OP of his any more. Not a problem.

Here are the two problems, as I see them.

One: Scylla seems to think that the Scylla lovers have proven his worth in some way or another. Sorry, it just isn’t so. IMHO, one’s worth on a message board, even one as awesome as this one, is not strikingly important. Like our dear Guin used to *always * say, here’s a ladder.

Two: Some people seem to feel that simply not subjecting yourself to something you don’t enjoy isn’t enough, but they feel they have to point out to the subject not liked their opinions. Yeah, you have that right. Doesn’t make you look any less petty for doing so, however.

The really sad thing for the OP of this thread is that many former true fans will now see a different person in their eyes whenever they view any new Scylla story. Shoulda quit whiles youse was ahead, man.

I hear there’s a especial on irony meters in aisle three – might I suggest you meander that way and find one to your liking?

Nothing wrong with your memory though. My prick does span over at least two zip codes.

*:::shrug:::
*

That would be more impressive if you were not standing in front of the specialty post office boxes in Manhattan, each with their own zip code, (and if you didn’t have to use zip+4 to make your claim work). :smiley:

Harborwolf

From each according to his abilities…
Hamadryad

Of course not. You wouldn’t want to overreach. I’m glad you’ve gotten so much better that it finally occurs to you now. Baby steps.

You’re completely missing the point here. The intelligence, wealth, parenting skills, these are all secondary. The most important thing is my good looks and charisma.

That’s not why you’re inferior. You’re inferior because you showed up to try to get a couple of kicks after a general pile on when you think it’s safe. That’s special.
FinnAgain

Actually, I think the pluralization was appropriate within my usage. At any event, it was just one. You may read into your semantic “gotcha” what you will. I suppose if your works weren’t published, used by teachers, repeatedly plagiarized or sought for filming, you would have to content yourself by criticizing those whose works were. I wouldn’t know.

Also, my works have been translated into foreign languages. I have multicultural appeal!

“Haha!” You say. “It was only a blimp magazine! It wasn’t Spielberg! It was only one teacher! It probably wasn’t a very good radio station!” Still not such a bad showing for farting around on the internet. I’d like to brag to you about some of my other achievements but it would be unbefitting until the Nobel Prize committee makes it official. I know what you’d say, anyway. “Big deal. They nominated Tookee.”
NoClueBoy

When was that?


Well hopefully Ike has learned his lesson. I’m sorry to be so hard on him but he had it coming. I’ll bet he thinks twice before he messes with me again.

Hmmm…looks like someone was much more precise than I prior to making that claim.

Anyhow, I was thinking of something like the ZC distance between New Rochelle and White Plains.

Obviously BS but quite fitting for this thread. :wink:

Learned his lesson about what? You were kind of coy.
In any case, I doubt a 7 page Scylla-bashing thread will teach anyone a lesson. Least of all yourself. haw.

How cute.

If I may ask a more direct question (or technically a few), why is it that you think Ike, or any of us for that matter, are jealous. It implies that you think that your level of success is something that we all strive for. Do you think that is the case?

Being jealous of you would be … overreaching? That doesn’t even make sense. Do you even read your own posts for comprehension?

I’m guessing this really means you paste your posts into Babel Fish?

CMC fnord!

Harsh, crowmanyclouds. It may well be that this very thread has been the inspiration for this short foreign film. It is certainly apparent that Scylla has pressure.

Dear Mr. Scylla:

I am an internationally famous film director, educator and aeronaut and I’m writing to you to offer you oodles of money for the rights to film THIS THREAD. I plan to subtitle it in as many different languages as it takes to hide the fact that I don’t have much of an effects budget and then show it to the King of Sweden just to teach him a thing or two. Please take a moment from your busy creative schedule to review my treatment for:
SCYLLARIS: THE MOVIE.

Synopsis: Scyllaris, a vast, sentient, globular sea of plasma and beer is the subject of long-term study from above by a group of scientists aboard the blimp Improbable Anecdote. In response to recent bizarre behavior on the part of Scyllaris and the scientists, Russian psychologist Balalaika Boris has been dispatched to the Improbable to assess the situation.

Boris discovers that Scyllaris is trying to communicate by taking various standard tropes and themes of human experience and projecting facets of them at the scientists as “solid hallucinations.” One scientist, Murray, has committed suicide. His “projection,” a small burrowing animal, was meant to be inoffensive and amusing but could prompt only guilty memories of the time Murray blew up a golf course. Another scientist, Vanya, may be playing a double game by feeding Scyllaris’ oceanic ego in a bid to goad it into attacking the others. Boris himself survives several attempts to attack and manipulate him before figuring out that the entity is mad about the time years before when Boris answered an exam question by describing plasma as “just so much hot gas.”

The thrilling conclusion comes when the scientists must try to escape Scyllaris before it curls up on itself and implodes in an earnest but futile attempt to convince everyone that, despite appearances, it’s really a star.

Now, sir, that is funny!

Can I buy the rights?

Improbable Anecdote… sheer genius! I’m so jealous!

Some of us can only aspire to be shrieking howler monkeys - others have already achieved it.

-Joe

Sorry you don’t understand, but I don’t think I can dumb it down any further.

No. Jealousy does not imply that you strive for that for which you are jealous. It simply implies that you do not have it.

But to be jealous of something that you have means that we want it. I don’t think I’ve ever been jealous about something I didn’t want or care about. Do you think that the fame you have is something that Ike or the rest of us want?