The links above contain President Tony’s latest pearls of wisdom on the World on general. According to Tony, we are officially living in a time of peril, the battle between good and evil is joined.
Well, that’s fucking great! Good vs Evil. What a terrific world view. And you’re in charge? We voted for you as the best person to be in charge of the whole country? I mean, I remember doing it, just at the time I remember some stuff about education, a bit about the economy, it’s probably my fault, but I don’t remember the bit about how we were going to turn the entire world in a cartoon battle between good and evil, men vs orcs.
They? Who the fuck are they exactly? They threaten France? Who does? The only people I’ve seen threatening France recently are some nutters who asked for a bunch of money not to put bombs in railway tracks. What’s that got to do with anything? Are they the same people who are kidnapping people in Iraq, or bombing people in Spain. Do you know? Do you care? Of course you don’t fucking care, as long as they fit into your little world view in the ‘Orc’ category, that’ll do fine.
It’s them again. Wait, is this the French railway blackmailers, or the people in Iraq who are pissed that we keep killing their relatives? No, me neither.
Oh, I wondered when we get to this bit! Yes, I knew, it’s all my fault. It’s not your fault Tony. You wisely decided to invade Iraq to eliminate Terrorism (wait was that the reason…I seem to remember…no, no, it must have been, afterall you haven’t mentioned anything other than terrorism so far…) Now I, in my naivety, was one of 2 million - 2 million Tony - British people that came to London to express to you our feelings that this might not be a good idea. Then there was MI6 who told you that invading Iraq would lead to an increase in terrorism. There was Hans Blix, who told you that the evidence for WMDs wasn’t checking out. But, now, if we try to even point this out to you, it’s ‘schadenfraude’. Well fuck you.
Oh right, these are the Orcs. Those pesky Saddam sympathisers! Wait didn’t we arrest him already? You’d think we’d need a new bogeyman by now. Oh there he is…
Have you really? Erm, are these the one’s that are accusing us of genocide? just asking, like.
But, look at all these achievements!! Those lucky Iraqis!
Yup, killing people certainly cuts the unemployment figures.
It’s a good job that the government doesn’t ban critical media anymore. That could really cause trouble.
Unlimited porn for all!
Hey it’s the Weapons of Mass Destruction! Now I remember. That was the reason wasn’t it? Did we find them? No? But it’s ok, it doesn’t actually matter because we found terrorists and terrorists and weapons of mass destruction are actually two sides of the same coin. Virtually the same thing! Some UN observers can barely tell them apart!
It’s ok that we invaded Iraq, sure there were no WMD, but there were terrorists. Well, there were once we’d invaded anyway. Tony was right! I was wrong!
Please to God, call an election now, you lettuce-brained, Bush-whacked, twat, and let us be rid of you. Maybe, there is still a chance…
