I know you don’t want to spend the $60 to see a doctor, but if your wife won’t listen to you, wouldn’t it be worth the copay to have her listen to someone qualified to tell her to sleep less (if that’s her problem, and I’m unconvinced that it is)?
Anecdote: when my son was a baby, my husband had a fixed idea in his head how much our son should be eating. It got to the point where mealtimes were an absolute nightmare. No amount of me telling my husband that our son didn’t need to eat a ton helped him listen that our son’s hunger should be our guide to quantity, not some arbitrary amount he’d come up with (and no, I didn’t say it like that). Finally, I scheduled an appointment with our pediatrician and asked my husband to come. She attested that many childhood eating disorders were caused by adults trying to control their children’s intake unnecessarily. My husband listened to her, mealtimes improved and that particular issue was no longer a barrier to us enjoying ourselves at the table. Sometimes loved ones simply need to hear recommendations by someone with more qualifications than you have. It’s nothing personal and well worth it if it’ll change her life.
And while I do sympathize with your problem, she might be reading your recommendations as, “Hey, just snap out of it.” Even if it is as simple as starting a regular sleep schedule, that doesn’t mean it’s easy. It’s like telling someone who’s overweight to just put down the fork and go for a run. It’s rarely easy and sometimes complicated by other issues. Your wife’s “previous” depression (previous in quotes because it doesn’t sound like she’s entirely kicked it) in particular doesn’t seem like it would lend her toward suddenly sleeping 6-8 hours and feeling refreshed.
Tell me - what does she do when she’s not working? Does she have friends? Regular activities? Does she leave the house often? If she has no friends or doesn’t leave often, she may be feeling very isolated and alone. That in and of itself can make it very difficult to get up in the morning and to stay motivated to be busy throughout the day.
Well if that’s what you take away from that, then fine. It doesn’t change the reality of my attitude towards my wife. If I misspoke, and made it appear that I think she’s altogether lazy, then I was wrong to say that. Fuckin’ internet and it’s damnable text-only conversations.
I don’t think she’s lazy; I believe a lazy person is lazy in all things. She is not. But she is much like a lazy teenager in her attitude towards a work ethic as it applies to a “job”. She cooks a damn fine meal, and is perfectly capable when it comes to running around after children. Those are ***her ***preferences. A job is obviously not. It’s not something she values, or considers important, despite the obvious financial limitations it places on her. I do not believe a person is to be considered as inferior for making such a choice. But I am free to notice the reasons *why *a person may make this choice.
So is your addition to this thread in any way related to the topic I brought up? Or is it just you trying to thumb your nose at me? Make me look like a big bad wife-oppresin’ meanie? Even if I do believe that my wife is lazy, it has got shit to do with my attempts to find a kind and loving way to speak to her about something that she is sensitive about. So do me a favor, and either find a way to contribute in an on-the-rails manner, or take your opinions of me to the Pit. And do try to be creative; it’s been awfully tame down there lately.
OP, how much coffee does she drink? If it’s more than 2-3 cups a day, it might be worth her cutting down. It’s amazing how too much caffeine can sap your energy levels and make it difficult to get a good night’s sleep. You think it’s perking you up, but in the long term it’s just making you tireder.
Also, if I were you I’d focus more on her doing more during the day - exercise, hobbies, etc - rather than how much she’s sleeping. Keeping active and interested in things could go a long way towards doing away with her tiredness. Diet could also be an issue - too many sugars/simple carbs can leave you exhausted too, if you’re sensitive to them.
Maybe most importantly, though - does she think there’s a problem? Or is it just you?