To certain people who come through the front door:
When I take your papers to Admitting so they can register you, please don’t ask me a mere two minutes later when they’re going to call you. Even when it’s not busy, they need several minutes, at least, to process the papers, look things up, possibly make a call, etc. before they call your name. And they still move pretty quickly.
Remove the gum or candy from your mouth before asking us something, and slow down when speaking, if possible. It would really help.
You don’t need to get pissy at those of us who cannot speak Spanish fluently. English is the default language. And yes, we have an interpreter, but it’s not as if he can be everywhere in the hospital at once.
Don’t order fresh flowers sent to anyone in the Cardiac Care Unit or Intensive Care Unit. Fake flowers, maybe. Better yet, not.
You don’t have to share your life story and medical history with us. It’s not necessary, and you’re telling us far more than we are supposed to know. (Confidentialty and all that.)
Don’t get an attitude when we remind you of what all the posted signs already say: No kids under 14 allowed as visitors. It may be different at other hospitals, but that’s our policy.
If you want to have a few family members in the surgical waiting room, fine. But don’t bring the whole fam-damily along. “Occupying” that waiting room with two to three dozen relatives is unfair to the other families and is probably some kind of fire code violation. No, you are not supposed to picnic in there, camp out, or sleep on the floor. Surgery can take an hour or more; recovery can take an hour at least. So go take a long walk, go home, go to the park, go eat lunch. You don’t need to live at the hospital all day.
To people pitching and selling things: Spare me the sales pitch. Spare all of us. I have no time to listen to you ramble on when I’m trying to assist patients.
To Hospital Security: It would be nice if you actually enforced hospital policy as mentioned above. Claiming that you “can’t do anything because the nurse didn’t say anything” is total b.s. Violations are violations. Why have policies if you’re not going to observe them?
To the Admin: You lost all the business cards during the remodeling and now you can’t afford to replace them? Really? I know you’ve got budget cuts and all, but come on. How hard is it to get some cards printed somewhere? It would make us look a bit more professional if we had actual cards to hand out to those who ask for them.
To hospital volunteer, from someone who has recently spent a whole lot of time in the hospital with a seriously sick family member:
When a loved one is in the hospital for something serious, we often aren’t thinking/reacting as well as we’d like. Please cut us some slack if we share too much/don’t answer correctly/are a little rude. We’re trying hard, but we’re scared.
Hospitals are confusing. There are a lot of rules, and they’re all new to us. We sometimes ask too many or not enough questions. Sometimes we break rules. We’re not trying to be difficult, but when our Mother/Father/Kid/Grandparent is in surgery and we don’t even know if they’re going to survive it, following rules is not our first priority.
If my whole damn family is worried about someone and wants to be in the hospital waiting room while Family Member X is having surgery, we’re gonna be there. People are worried and having family around is supportive. We are going to eat our lunch, hang out, take naps, and wait for Mom/Dad/Kid/Grandpa to get out of surgery.
We are going to mill about waiting, because if we miss the oncologist/surgeon/whatever doc’s visit to Mom/Dad/Kid’s hospital room, it’s next to impossible to track down that doc and get his/her undivided attention the way we can if we’re in the room when they do their rounds. It’s a nice idea that one person is there to get the info then tell the rest of the family, but refer to item #1: we’re scared. We’re confused. It’s helpful to have a few people there so nothing is missed, and so that we can tag-team letting everyone else know what’s up.
I have been in my fair share of hospitals and I will just chime in as follows: there are relatively good ones and others not so, but there will always be a disconnect between patients and staff because most patients are clueless and only know about healthcare from House, and staff has often seen so much that jaded is a polite word.
The biggest difference I have witnessed is when staff can take the time to explain everything that is happening to people. It cuts down on a lot of the unnecessary worry. Does it work for everyone? No, there are some fools out there that can’t be helped. Especially when you meet anyone who has the entitlement chip on their shoulder.
But that’s the biggest thing I can see that helps the situation. Communication.
The situation with the waiting room is that it’s a space issue, to a degree. It is not a very big space. If one family displaces others who end up out in the hallway with nowhere to sit and trying not to get in the way of gurneys, etc., it becomes a logistical problem and an issue of fairness.
Fair enough. Everyone should have enough space for at least 2-3 people per patient.
And yeah, we definitely ran into the space issue. Some of the rooms in our local hospital are so small that even one visitor made it cramped and required moving around and rearranging whenever the nurse came in to do anything. The nurses were great about it - they obviously were used to it - but the times we had a private room (and more space) we sure did appreciate it.
Gah, this thread is bringing up a lot of stuff. Don’t even get me started. Considering that hospitals are places where people go to get rest and recover their health, they sure do make it hard to do those two things comfortably!
I appreciate hospital volunteers. The few times I’ve had to wait out surgeries or attend a dying relative, they’ve been very helpful and compassionate. However, I would like to point out that while you don’t receive a paycheck for everything you do, the hospital receives adequate reimbursement to cover all of the services you offer. If your family waiting room is lacking in space, your issue is with the hospital administration, not the families of patients. If someone needs an interpreter and one is not available, the hospital should employ more interpreters.
You’re right that the patients and families you deal with could be more polite and reasonable, but that’s true of any situation where you’re dealing with people, especially people under stress. People are a PITA sometimes, and I’m sure you get frustrated. Just be sure that you’re directing your frustration where it belongs.
Back in the late 1970’s when my mom was having her first heart surgery that rule often meant everyone in my family could go into the room to see mom, but I couldn’t. I had to wait down the hall. At one point, a couple months had gone by without my seeing mom but I still wasn’t allowed to, even though everyone kept saying she might die at any time.
Finally, Dad told the staff I’d turned old enough (bumping my birthday up 18 months) and snuck me in to see mom.
I was never clear on the reason - fear of kids misbehaving. Fear of upsetting the kids (as if being barred from seeing mom wasn’t upsetting). I don’t know.
I always thought it was because of the noise factor. I know the local hospital where I recently visited a friend after surgery doesn’t seem to have a limit on child visitors. They really ought to. It’s not conductive to rest when kids are running up and down the hall and making noise. If the parents can’t keep their kids quiet they need to leave them home. The nurses don’t need to have to dodge them - and Goddess forbid there is an emergency where they need to get through with a crash cart or something.
More personally, for my friend, was the fact she had just had her childbearing options removed. While she didn’t want kids, she was young enough to change her mind. Hearing kids reminded her she no longer had that choice.
Sorry for the rant, but other people’s misbehaving children are the reason I don’t like most kids.
Sadly, I spend a lot of time in hospitals. All of the kids I’ve seen have been controlled. Their voices have been quiet and they aren’t allowed to run around. I don’t know if its the parents, staff or just the fact that the kids know that Grandpa is dieing. So, I guess I figured that it was the germs as well.
I don’t want to sound snarky, and I’m pretty sure that the volunteers who are always lovely wouldn’t do this…but if you’ve lost a patient just say so, don’t give me deer in the headlight eyes and send me to talk to someone else who won’t tell me. Yes, I understand that I’m not family, but you’ve seen me hear every day for a month.
When you take their papers for Admitting, maybe you could forestall being interrogated by telling them, “It’ll be 10 (or however many) minutes at a minimum before these are processed. Please have a seat and you’ll be called when they’re ready for you.”
Hospitals are an environment very prone to crankiness. Think about it; virtually no one wants to be there. The workers don’t. The visitors don’t. The patients sure as hell don’t.
This is a problem. Many, many people will be mollified if you have an answer other than, “It’s our policy.” It may not even be the best reason in the world, but ANY reason is better than “It’s our policy.” “It’s our policy” puts you in an adversarial relationship with the guest, instead of making them feel like a member of the healthcare team.
Someone put that procedure in place for a reason. It could be because of germs, it could be because of noise, it could be because kids tend to get in the way of nurses or push interesting buttons or any of a number of things. Find out. Find out what it is, and tell people that. “It’s our policy not to allow children under 14 on the floor because studies show that more infections happen when children are allowed on the floor. In the interest of patient health, our hospital has adopted this policy. I’m so sorry for the inconvenience, let me show you where the courtesy phone is so that your child can speak to her mother instead.”
Some of them will still argue with you, but I think you’ll find the number drops precipitously.
IME, when you give someone a reason, they will argue how it doesn’t apply to THEM. Their children don’t have any illnesses, are always quiet, never mess with things, are thrifty, brave, loyal and reverent. Stating policy forestalls this.
I don’t remember it, being barely out of toddlerhood at the time, but in the late 1940s my father was in a near-fatal auto crash. The general policy was that children were not allowed in the hospital rooms, ever. They made an exception for my older sister and me, because it was believed that Dad would not survive. Of course, I don’t know how useful it was for us to “visit” our comatose father.