In an episode of “Ramsey’s kitchen nightmares” (British version), Ramsey refers to the wife of the husband and wife owners as “Shrek in a frock”.
She was so busy yelling, I don’t think she caught the insult, but it was spot on.
Friends watching an old video of Rachel and the formerly huge Monica:
Monica: You know, the camera adds 10 pounds.
Chandler: So how many cameras are on you?
Here’s another good one from Married…with Children:
Bud: Hey Kel, guess what? I’ve got a date tonight with a foreign exchange student who’s so easy she makes you look like a calculus problem.
From the Simpsons - Mr. Burns: Isn’t ironic Smithers, this slackjawed family of trogoldytes ruins my chances at winning the election, yet if I were to have them killed, I"D be the one to go to jail! That’s democracy for you!"
[QUOTE=Mama Zappa]
I’m stunned that nothing from Chef! made it. Gareth Blackstock / Lenny Henry was truly a master of the eloquent putdown.
“Let me explain the order of things to you. There’s the aristocracy, the upper class, the middle class, working class, dumb animals, waiters, creeping things, head lice, people who eat packet soup, then you.”
"You are a pea-brained, prat-faced, pompous, pillock-headed cretin. If you took an intensive course of intelligence injections and studied till you drop, then one day you might make it to moron third class failed. "
“So please go away… and please re-arrange the contents of this plate so that someone in the latest stages of malnutrition will at least take a passing interest in it.”
“Everton, let me explain things to you. In the world of cooking, I am Einstein. Lucinda is Isaac Newton. And you are a mud-dwelling unicellular bit of jelly with a predilection for consuming its own excrement.”
"Somebody bring me a knife, very long and razor sharp. I need to castrate the person who made this sauce and I don’t want to cause any unecessary suffering. I’m not a vindictive man, I’m not out to cause pain, but with this man’s DNA in the gene pool, humanity is doomed. "
(quotes lifted from IMDB).
[/QUOTE]
Finally some good ones (no offence to the others).
And there have GOT to be some better putdowns from Blackadder that have not been posted. The ones that have been posted are some of those from the ‘very mild’ section of blackadder’s reportoire.
I have to go find my series 2,3 and 4 dvds of blackadder and watch them all (series 1 was pants)
[QUOTE=Thudlow Boink]
And it’s been too long since I’ve seen the show, but I imagine Married With Children came up with something worthy of such a list.
[/QUOTE]
My favorite, and it’s offensive but funny:
[on the phone with Jerry Springer]
Al: Listen Jerry, bowling is a man’s sport. If God had wanted women to bowl, he would have put their breasts on their backs so we would have something to watch while waiting our turn.
Jerry Springer: And where are you calling from sir, 1952?
Al: I wish. That was a great year for America. Ike was in the White House, women were in the kitchen, and guys like you were in the closet.
Jerry Springer: And, you forgot to mention where you were. I suspect in a zoo someplace throwing your feces at a passing tourist.
Al: Once again, I wish.
“He couldn’t get laid if he was dipped in chocolate and shitting Italian shoes!”
Another Cheers line, as Diane and, I think, Frasier were headed off to England:
Diane: “We’re off to look up Chuck and Di!”
Carla: “Why don’t you upchuck and die?”
From Fawlty Towers, one of my favorite lines, mainly for the sheer venom with which Basil delivers it. You can hear the audience gasp slightly. Unfortunately, I have to paraphrase, but I’m sure someone will be along shortly to clear it up:
Basil, to Sybil: “Shut UP! Shut up! If you would shut your mouth for one second and allow some light to penetrate that rat’s nest you call a hairdo, I can explain…”
Loosely paraphrased, at that.
Who can forget the immortal Seinfeld exchange:
“The ocean called; they’re running out of shrimp.”
“Well, the Jerk Store called, and they’re running out of you."
“What’s the difference? You’re their all-time best seller.”
“Oh yeah? …Well I had sex with your wife!”
From “Will and Grace”.
Karen to Grace: “Honey, what have you done to your hair? You look like you’ve got mousse and squirrel in there!”
Hee, hee!
[QUOTE=Lobsang]
Finally some good ones (no offence to the others).
And there have GOT to be some better putdowns from Blackadder that have not been posted. The ones that have been posted are some of those from the ‘very mild’ section of blackadder’s reportoire.
[/QUOTE]
“The long winter evenings must simply fly by.”
[QUOTE=brujaja]
From “Will and Grace”.
Karen to Grace: “Honey, what have you done to your hair? You look like you’ve got mousse and squirrel in there!”
Hee, hee!
[/QUOTE]
Karen: “Grace, honey, you’re hair is such a disaster that the Red Cross wouldn’t give it coffee.”