Another skill that seems to come natural to some, others may have inherited the behavior form a parent and some have learned by experience is the ability to somehow present themselves in nearly any situation as a person we admire and then project that on to a female as if she were as sexy and smart and attravtive as he is. I have no idea what you might call this, half the equation is charisma.
Can play a musical instrument.
Willing to be silly with me.
Hard worker.
Open to new experiences (trying a new cuisine, different style of clothing, etc).
Kills spiders/bugs and doesn’t make fun of me for asking/screaming.
Straight male.
Oral sex is a practical skill, right? Other than that, I can’t think of any skill I find sexy. The things I find sexy - like beating me at Jeopardy! - are just reflections of attributes.
I thought about this before answering and realized that many of the “skills” (if one could call them as such, I think they overlap with “attributes”) were really things I felt were attractive or endearing rather than sexy. So “being intelligent” by itself could be sexy, but I find that more attractive than lust-inducing. And listing bedroom skills seems a bit like cheating. I had a girlfriend who was almost unfairly good at oral…and just to put the icing on that, had a habit of looking at me afterwards and smiling as if to say “Bet you can’t wait until the next time!” I mean, who wouldn’t find that swoonworthy?
So I thought of a few things that were rather lustworthy to me, things done and said to me by partners, and once in a while unintentionally or maybe intentionally by partners I’d wish I’d had.
-
Realizing one has a body type not everybody thinks is ideal, but having the self-confidence to tell the world, “Fuck you, I’m beautiful.” I knew a woman who was very tall and built like a rugby player, quite musclebound. I thought she was gorgeous and her demeanor made me realize she felt the same way. She wasn’t overt about it, but she didn’t hide herself under a bushel. That was extremely lustworthy. I was just soooo jealous of her boyfriend.
-
Saying things that seem innocent on first hearing but romantic or naughty on second thought. One lady once asked me to read some of her drafts of fiction. I was kind of busy that night and thought at first she wanted me to correct her work for a creative writing class. Only later did I realize that she’d earlier mentioned to me her attempts to write erotica…but why didn’t she mention that when she asked? I think she was waiting for me to see if I’d gotten her hidden message, and unfortunately I hadn’t. Never got the chance again with her.
-
Being able to look at someone like they’re the only person in the world. When you’re in a crowded room and someone is able to give you “that look.” The one that says “as soon as possible, however possible, I want to be alone with you.” It’s a good skill to have and I wish I could master it.
-
Self-confidence in general. I realize that is tied to the first one but it’s been pretty clear to me in my limited sexual history that the less self-confidence one has, the worse partner in bed they’ll be. They won’t be able to vocalize what they enjoy in bed, they’ll be more tense in bed and not be able to relax, and not be able to listen to what I’m saying that I enjoy. And it becomes a vicious circle, that their lack of self-confidence hurts enjoyment in bed, then they blame themselves for that, and they become less confidence. There are ways of breaking through it, but it’s nice to start from a position of confidence.
-
Being able to express passion through affectionate though non-sexual behavior. Although I’ve found that it’s not always true that the better kisser someone is the better they are in bed, I have found the more passion behind their embraces, their conversation, even their hand-holding, the better they are at having sex, and uncovering that passion and revealing themselves is a very sexy thing.
Mine is slightly odd, but as a dude who likes dudes, killing spiders and bugs. I can handle them just fine on my own but after years of being the default creepy-crawly eliminator in any given instance, someone who sees the house-apede and gets the tissue all on their own without so much as an ugh? swoon
I’ve seen “sense of humor” mentioned, but I think what that often means is a prospective partner having a sense of humor that matches (or at least appreciates) that of the significant other. I have a very black sense of humor that has gotten me through the inevitable moments of grief in any life. It wasn’t until I reached my late 20s, that I realized that my black humor was a turn-off to some women, while it was a turn-on to others. Up til then I just thought “funny was funny.”
btw, I second the opinion expressed by the OP about “artistic aptitude” being a sexy “skill.” If she can sing or paint or sculpt or even wall-paper, she’s got my attention.
I would think that would be an incredibly sexy skill.
Oh wait…
Strange choices. I was thing in the lines of these:
Dancing
Singing
Playing a musical instrument
Sports (swimming, car racing, motorcycle racing, flying)
I have to include this: a reputation for being good in sex.
With the emphasis on sexy, I’d say:
speaks a romance language fluently (I’m partial to Italian)
can drive well (plus for motorcyclists)
athleticism (partial to runners)
brainy
crafty (I like a woman that can create stuff)
The only real skill I care about is if I got some heat on me, my girl will “take care of them.” Really, I’m not sure what else people find a sexy skill…
Just kidding.
A real one I would like is intelligence.
- Cooking.
It seems the consensus of both men and women in this thread is that cooking is a universally sexy skill. 
Mine:
[ol]
[li]Yes, cooking. It’s true the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, and if what you make for a meal is especially tasty, I’ll volunteer to handle all the dishes.[/li][li]Being able to hold your own in a political or cultural conversation/debate. Bonus points if you’re my age (34) or younger and know who John Bonham was or how Karl Rove influenced American conservatism.[/li][li]Being able to juggle. It sounds weird, but this is one skill I’ve always wanted to have that I never put the time in for. But if you can do it, I will fall in love with you.[/li][li]NFL football. Being able to watch with you is great, but if you can jump to your feet and scream at the TV with me because a ref blew a call on some obscure rule, I find that incredibly sexy. :)[/li][li]Having a good singing voice. Opera, rock, country… it doesn’t matter what genre as long as you have the ability.[/li][/ol]
I’m a dude. Had to think about this one quite a bit. The whole “Is it a skill?” and “Is it sexy?” combo really threw me for a loop. So, here we go, in order of sexiness:
#1) The ability and propensity to wear heels. I’m a big fan. Huge. Sadly, there are a lot of women who wear heels and can’t walk in them, and that is an enormous turnoff. There is nothing sexy about a woman stomping around awkwardly in heels. It’s absurd. Really. You look like a clown. (My wife actually hates this more than I do, which is saying something.)
#2) Athletic ability. Women who can run properly are sexy as hell.
#3) Conversational ability. Yeah, I know you’re supposedly better communicators than men, but let’s be honest, that’s not setting the bar very high. If you can speak intelligently and stay on topic, we’ll be BFFs.
#4) Dirty talk.
That’s it! I can only come up with four. I might have said cooking or cleaning, but I have yet to meet my match at either. Which is a total dick thing to type, but I honestly haven’t, and I’m quite sad about it.
Intelligence doesn’t quite cut it for me. Intelligence is nice, but does it turn me on?
No.
I am, however, turned on by the intimacy created when someone explains something I didn’t previously know. The subject is irrelevant. It could be a finance guy explaining his stock buying methods or a biologist talking about extracellular proteins. I feel like I am being let in on a secret; like we are accomplices in the big scary world of slam poetry or church latin or whatever. A large portion of what makes this sexy is that he is taking the time to translate something that interests him for me. It is a sweet gesture and a challenge.
If that is a skill it is probably closer to charisma or teaching than intelligence.
Funnily enough, random surfing the other day brought me to a page where some actual research had been done on this, and it turned out that being - or appearing to be - a musician was the sexiest to women. Of course, since it was random surfing, I no longer have the link.
As a man my guess is that research would suggest that men don’t find any skills women do to be all that sexy and that it’s way more important that they just appear sexy. Maybe poll dancing, but that only works if the woman is physically attractive already. Women on the other hand do seem more attracted to men with good skills, particularly if such skill gains the man social status among his peer group.
In case anyone cares, I don’t think everyone is using the same definition of intimidating. There’s both the active and passive kind. The active kind is pretty much being threatening, and I could see how that could be a problem in a relationship if that was your habitual way of acting. I’ve actually had problems with this in the past (as I look very intimidating when I get angry. Plus, as my name suggests, I’m a big guy.) I’m not consciously using it towards anyone, but it still bothered people, even though I’m actually pretty innocuous.
Anyways, sexy skills? Social skills are definitely sexy, especially if she still enjoys talking with me despite all her other options. Musical talent is sexy, as can be some dancing. Flexibility is sexy, even without imagining any “uses” for it. Artistic skills are often sexy, assuming they don’t deal with the dark and depressing.
A lot of nerdy skills are sexy, too. Being able to beat me in video games is actually pretty awesome, for example. As is being able to do math for fun. I totally do not agree that guys do not find skill sexy.
Cooking.
Motherly types, one who doesn’t just mother her own children but pretty much all children.
And I’m ashamed to admit this: Girly girls. Girls who are into make up, perfume, lotions… I’m a sucker for all that crap.
Sticking to skills rather than attributes (like a sense of humor for example seems more like an attribute than a skill):
- Knowing his way around an engine.
- Good conversationalist.
- Financially savvy.
- Good with kids.
- Knows a good whiskey when he tastes it.
Not all practical skills, but these are the ones I find attractive.
Double post