Anyone remember the 1976 song “Torn Between 2 Lovers” by Mary MacGregor? Its a song about a married woman who falls in love with another man, tells her husband, and asks him to accept the situation.
Its a deep, powerful song, one that always gets to me. I feel for the emotional pain the person must have but yet, I have trouble having true sympathy. Mostly because the thought of having my heart ripped open because my true love has found someone else.
So I’d like to ask, how do you feel about the person?
What comes to your mind when you hear the song?
Have you ever known a person who was truly “torn between 2 lovers”?
The lyrics:
There are times when a woman has to say what’s on her mind
Even though she knows how much it’s gonna hurt
Before I say another word let me tell you, I love you
Let me hold you close and say these words as gently as I can
There’s been another man that I’ve needed and I’ve loved
But that doesn’t mean I love you less
And he knows he can’t possess me and he knows he never will
There’s just this empty place inside of me that only he can fill
[Chorus:]
Torn between two lovers, feelin’ like a fool
Lovin’ both of you is breakin’ all the rules
Torn between two lovers, feelin’ like a fool
Lovin’ you both is breakin’ all the rules
Its a selfish narcissistic dirge on behalf of a woman who does not want to bear the consequences of her behaviour.
She want what she wants, and as for their emotions of others, well she seems happy enough to try manipulate the situation to her own ends.
I think both of them should leave her - I like to think that they did.
There is a huge difference between a 3 way relationship and what’s going on here, the 3 way is consensual, what going on here clearly is not, its simply deception.
The lines
You mustn’t think you’ve failed me
Just because there’s someone else
These really do show the narcissistic side of this person, she hasn’t considered how **she **might have failed both of them, oh no, its her partner who might blame himself but she forgives him!
In the end though, we don’t necessarily want songs that are all lovey dovey, and spring flowery - a little bit a an ethical and moral challenge is fine too, but the song is a bit of a drag.
Believe it or not, wikipedia says the singer Mary MacGregor, shares the same feelings about the song and has no sympathy for the subject woman. In fact she says the song lead to a breakup in her own marriage because it caused her to be on the road away from home so much.
I recall the song from way back in the day, but did not pay attention to the lyrics. I always thought it was choosing between the two, not a request for acceptance.
Ditto this, except I paid more attention to the lyrics than you (knew / know every word *and *used to sing along :o ). I guess I didn’t really picture the scenario playing out literally as it’s portrayed in the lyrics. Sort of like she’s saying it in her head or practicing what she’s going to tell lover #1.
Now if we’re gonna talk about assholish behavior in songs from the '70s, let’s consider Escape (the Pina Colada song) whereby a dude “gets tired of his lady and takes out a personal ad” so he can find some hussy to run away with.
Hey, he acknowledges that it sounds kinda mean but him and his old lady had fallen into the same old dull routine. It has a happy ending anyways.
Count me as another who never realized “torn between two lovers” was the woman actually fessing up. But not every songs protagonist has to be likeable I guess.
When it was new, I didn’t like the person in the song. But I was also a bit more pious back then. My Catholic upbringing, I guess. I mean, I still don’t like her, but for different reasons. Now I don’t for what she does to the object of the song, plus her smug self-righteousness.
On the other hand, I always smirked at:
There’s just this empty place inside of me that only he can fill
She’s found another, but she also doesn’t want to leave her hubby, right?
Not necessarily sympathy, but I’m not one to judge, either. She sounds young and naïve and really needs to make up her mind. However this plays out, she and he will both learn a valuable life lesson.
Now, if I were the dude in that situation (and my age) I’d probably say, that’s cool. But if you’re going to sleep with us both, I’ll find another girlfriend. Not in a “I’m leaving you” way. Just, until she makes up her mind, I’m not going to let bitch play me. More likely it would be that I’d ask her to move along… “there’s nothing left to see here, babe.”
I was reminded of this song, too. And you remember who he ultimately finds, right?
