Totally automated public rest room...What features would you like?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

So I’m driving on South Carolina’s interstate 26 and I stop at a public rest area. As I’m walking into the men’s room I face a large blue on white sign that says, “restroom completely automatic”. As I’m walking to the urinal I’m thinking of all the possibilities and pitfalls. Will the machinery be able to distinguish between a zipper fly and a button fly, will it be able to judge my height so that it figure out where my zipper flag is? Will I be gently unfurled? Will I be shaken not stirred when I’m finished playing battleship with the butts floating in the urinal.

Now in reality there’s just an automatic toilet flusher, sink spigot valve and hand dryer.

What would be your fantasy completely automated rest area?

2

As you walk through the doorway, all waste is automatically teleported out of your body. Somehow they can make this work without, say, teleporting your liver out of your body.

3

You get a prize for every cigarette butt you sink in the urinal.

4

One that doesn’t smell like anything, be it chemical air freshener or crap.

Also, a way to make sure that people don’t piss all over the seat (barring those strange plastic bag rotating seats–those things give me the creeps!)