Oh hell yes. Die accordion, die!
People hate They Might Be Giants that much?
Seconding the oboe. Nothing against it, it’s just the one instrument that wouldn’t affect the history of music that much if it just popped out of existence.
And about the theremin… let’s be completely frank, you can get the same sound by just humming. In fact I’ve always suspected that the thing is just a big con and the “instrumentalists” are doing exactly that while moving their hands over a worthless piece of metal.
If I can’t pick autotune then definitely the vuvuzela.
I’d probably also accept the stylophone on the basis that it’s a stupid instrument that contributes nothing worthwhile to the musical canon, Rolf Harris and TMBG notwithstanding.
Another vote for the soprano sax. An instrument of torture, never, ever played well enough to warrant its existence. The oboe can at least sound mellow, the sop never so. And I so advise.
Eh, I’d keep the oboe for Swan Lake and Mozart’s Oboe Concerto in C alone. As for thermin, I could live without it, but it sounds nothing like humming. It sounds more like a bowed string instrument or even an operatic singer.
Wow, lay off the double reeds, people! What is it about bassoon and oboe that you don’t like? They’re a couple of my favorite instruments to listen to.
Guess I should pick one to banish as well…hmmmmm. Going with the alto saxophone. Thanks to INXS, I swear 3/4 of my band classes started out as alto saxes. Lower saxes are cool with me though.
Oh, and the vibraslap. Piss on that annoying POS.
+1
The Pan Flute. “if you act right now, we’ll send you the complete recordings of Gheorghe Zamfir, and as an extra bonus - a pocket fisherman. Just pay additional shipping and handling. If you don’t act right now, we know who you are and will send you two copies of the above.”
Good Og - what’s with the double-reed hate? Oboe and bassoon both produce gorgeous sounds. A sad, slow oboe line can be transcendent.
For me, getting rid of an instrument is more like a ‘gun against your head and you have to get rid of one.’ I’d only do it if forced.
And then I’d pick electric jug. Yes, I’m serious. The 13th Floor Elevators employed an electric jug. If I had to, I could delete it from all timespace.
The hurdy gurdy isn’t much used any more, which is A Good Thing.
What the hell is that keyboard thingy that plays like a guitar? Real big in the 70s.
That one.
Steel drums.
The synthesizer.
Not necessarily instruments, but samples and tones, like the synth-drum bell-ring sound used on that old disco tune Ring My Bell by Anita Ward.
Or the infamous “Orchestral Hit” sample that everyone used in the 80’s, but the most annoying example I recall was Paul Young’s I’m Gonna Tear Your Playhouse Down (starts in the chorus, about 1:05 in - after that, you can’t miss 'em). I think that sample was huge in 80’s because Go West used it well in We Close Our Eyes…but that was pretty much the extent of its lifespan.
The Recorder. I hated learning it in Sunday School, I hated learning it in regular school, and the sound causes my ears to bleed. (PS: “The Brown Note.” hahaha.)
Does anybody else picture Milhouse every time a “theremin” is mentioned?
If the Vuvuzela actually is a musical instrument, (I’d be inclined to think of it more as weapon of mass destruction) it must go.
Alternate pick: bagpipes. A weapon of war that drives people into a frenzy of violence.
2nd alternate pick: piccolo. Another weapon of war
Even though drums are also weapons, I love drumming. Drums just don’t go into that high-pitched range that is so very painful to me.
PS. I’d also be happy if violins were altered so they wouldn’t reach such high squealy notes. Same with glass armonica.
Love tenor sax and low-pitched woodwinds.
This.
If it doesn’t count, then I’m going with the Human Beatbox.
If that STILL doesn’t count, lessee, I guess I wouldn’t miss the sackbut. NOT trombones. Those stay.
The violin and the fiddle are the same instrument. Or are you making a point about different musical styles?
Me too. I don’t know that I actually want it destroyed, I just don’t think I’d miss it if it were.