I watched a youtube clip last night from a 2010 World Cup match, and I’d forgotten about the vuvuzela. I miss those!
I think a case can be made for pretty much any instrument when it’s played well, so the only one I’d get rid of is the keytar. That’s just redundant to the keyboards, except it makes the keytarist look like a moron. You’re not going to convince me you’re in the same class as Jimi Hendrix, Mr. Keytarist, so drop the fucking thing.
Wow. That would completely destroy the pop music landscape. Or, wait, that might be your point.
Drat! That’s what I was going to say…the pan flute…and take Zamfir with it!
Yeah but you better watch it when the hurdy gurdy man comes singing songs of love.
Yeah, I don’t understand it. I know they’re basically the same instrument. I don’t mind fiddle music at all, and violins give me a headache.
“That’s pian-o. I said pianny!”
Nobody called me out but I think I meant smooth jazz above, not slow jazz. Saxomophones are still annoying.
Keytar doesn’t need to be destroyed because it is already gone. Occasionally a hipster band brings it back, but it’s easier to just go to the source and delete hipsters.
A hurdy-gurdy is occasionally played by Régine Chassagne of Arcade Fire, causing many people to ask “what is that thing”? I like the medievalness of them.
Dinnae touch ye pipes, laddie!!!
I don’t think there’s any musical instrument I actively dislike enough to want it deleted. Vuvuzelas, sure, but I consider a vuvuzela to be about as much of a musical instrument as a whoopee cushion is. There are a lot of relatively non-crucial instruments (fluegelhorns, violas, bass clarinets, etc.) that could be deleted without too much fuss, but that’s kind of boring. There are also some non-Western instruments like samisens that I wouldn’t miss much.
I’m very eclectic in my musical tastes, but at gunpoint, I’d eliminate the triangle.
Give a listen to Toots Thielemans, Larry Adler, Paul Butterfield, Charley Musselwhite or Norton Buffalo and then get back to us… 
Soprano gotta stay…cause a’ Sidney Bechet.
(Dang, that’s almost like a rap lyric!)
I always thought Briscoe Darling blowing on the jug on The Andy Griffith Show was a waste.
We could always use More Cowbell though.
How can you not like this instrument. Even a cat can play it.
Well said!
I’m amazed that no one said the banjo.
I love hearing a good banjo picker but a lot of folks don’t.
You forgot the Hardart.
Also Robert Bonfiglio.
And the mailing tuba.
I’ll second the didgeridoo. Since leaving the Northern Territory 30 or so years ago I’ve fortunately been able to avoid them for the most part. Except when I visit Sydney (which is fairly often). Once of my favourite things to do is stroll around Circular Quay, but there is always some bastard (usually 2 actually - one at each end of the piers) making a racket with a damn digeridoo.
Yeah, I was waiting for that one to come out, so I could post some Bela Fleck and the Flecktones, as it also features harmonica and a keytar/electronic drums/synth-type instrument crafted by one of the band members, which would make it 3 for 4 in featuring Doper’s desired banned instruments.