No, the title is not a random collection of words but an actual news headline that fairly reflects the content of the article. You simply can’t make this stuff up:
Hazmat suit with your salad, sir?
Near the Salton Sea again[sup]*[/sup]? I think there must be something living down there with a thing for trains. Perhaps it decided it’s a good time to get something besides water in there, just for fun.
*(I know, I know, once every 100 years is probably a pretty good record)
Your link seems to be broken.
So…any word on when a train full of wings will be coming through? 
It can’t be as bad as this.
It’s the Giant Snails living in the Salton Sea. Bleu Cheese sauce goes well with SCUBA diver.
I’m on a low-Salton diet, but what the fuck…pass the Buffalo wings!
I can’t find a link to the bleu cheese disaster, but here’s another recent food catastrophe.
Imagine the fun the reporter had composing that lead.
So it is, my apologies. Try this. In further news on the topic, I see they’re blaming the victim:
Surely they’d be flown in?
True, but this would give one pause driving down the interstate, I’d think.
…And the oceans will run bleu with cheese. And the wings shall be of giants, with planks of celery.
News stories like that need pictures. Why didn’t anyone take a picture?
It’s a safety thing. There are a lot of people whose hearts would stop cold at the mere sight of so much blue cheese dressing.
There’s a spot along the road where I usually ride my bike where someone once spilled like a five-gallon drum of some sort of industrial strength blue dye. That blue splotch was there for years …
Ah. That must lead to the Bucket of Blood..
This year’s barbecue is going to be epic.
…But I ordered the Vinaigrette! Honey, that’s the last time we get delivery from AMTRAK…
The story about four spilled barrels of blood-red dye is wrapped around an ad for The Sopranos! Coincidence? I think not.