I would follow the vet’s instructions unless you see sores or redness under the collar, or he can’t eat or drink easily. If the vet said leave it on for a few days, go with that.
I think the thread has been going on long enough that it’s time we asked for pics… 
I will def post some pics once all this settles down!
Do you all have any thoughts on an eye patch? Might be superior to a cone in this case.
Talk to the vet. I’m guessing the cone of shame is there to keep him from pawing at his eye and injuring it or slowing healing. I don’t think an eye patch would stop that. Picture yourself with an eye patch. If you rubbed at your face, you could move that patch around and possibly cause issues.
Okay, this whole laissez-faire “let him do him” thing isn’t going to work when I have to force ear and eye drops on him every day. I’m so scared he’ll bite me. I’m not sure how to do this. All the YouTube videos are not helpful cuz they show super compliant chill dogs. He shakes and gets agitated.
A few thoughts:
Is there any way someone with experience can be there with you when you put the drops in? Your dog walker or the friend you mentioned who has experience with dogs? Having another pair of hands may be helpful at this point. One of you to hold him safely, and one of you to medicate him.
Also, talk to your vet about the agitation and see what they suggest. They may have some thoughts on how to get through this rough spot where he needs meds, but you two are still getting to know each other. The other thing the vet should be able to do is teach you how to do it correctly yourself.
If you’re having trouble tonight doing it, skip it. Tomorrow is another day. Really. He should have his meds, but if you’re afraid you’re going to get bitten, get some help on how to do it safely tomorrow. Life is much worse for both of you if he bites. (Use your judgement here - if he’s seriously ill tonight, then get help giving his meds tonight.)
One other option - which isn’t super fantastic from his point of view - is having the vet keep him for a few days and treat him there. Yes, he’s going to feel like he just got moved around again, but they have experience and can handle reluctant and scared dogs. When you get him back, he’ll be feeling better and hopefully it won’t be so traumatic to finish out the treatment.
Another thought - what does he think of peanut butter? Some dogs are so engrossed in licking the cup or spoon of peanut butter that you can kind of sneak in with the drops.
Thanks for the thoughts! I’ll see if the vet can help teach me how to hold him properly.
How big is this dog? How you handle him will matter a great deal depending on his size.
Also, are you treating him immediately after you have to do something unpleasant like the eye drops? It won’t entirely make amends because you don’t have a bond with him yet, but it will compensate a little. Do it every time and he will gradually become more willing to allow treatment.
I love dogs, have had at least 1 sizeable dog at all times over the past 35 yrs.
I don’t understand why you would want to adopt the dog you describe. There are plenty of dogs out there without the issues you describe. And I don’t hear you describe an “up side” making it all worth it. Sure, you can eventually make him be a decent dog, but not without a ton of effort and (likely) expense.
Some people commit themselves to “rescuing” dogs with issues. That’s fine. Not my cup of tea. Just give a good hard think whether that is what you want for the next few years of your life.
My advice - chalk it up to experience, and give him back to the shelter/foster agency.
Dinsdale, you raise a good point. And I say this as someone who worked in dog rescue for some years. Adopting an animal purely because you feel sorry for it (white knight syndrome) is a recipe for failure unless you have solid experience with rehabilitating traumatized animals. It’s VERY sad, none of them deserve to be neglected and unloved. But white knight failures don’t help the animal at all. Just be sure you’re being totally honest and realistic about what you can do for this pup, is all I’m saying.
Hey guys,
Thanks for all the advice/support. Today went much better and I think he’s really starting to bond. He seems much more comfortable, relaxed and affectionate. I’ll give more details once home tonight.
So, today went really well! He’s acting much more confident, affectionate and “dog-like” (e.g following me around everywhere, staring when I eat, putting his paw on me to ask for attention). He appears really happy to see me and has started rubbing up against me a lot. I brushed him today which he handled like a champ. He also showed much more interest in food and bones/treats, which is great.
Re why go to all this trouble: he really, really is a good dog. Like, an exceptionally sweet-natured dog (esp. for a dog who hasn’t been raised with a loving family since puppyhood). A lot of our drama I think stems from my anxiety around a newer dog who is somewhat an unknown quantity. For example, my nervousness about him biting stems entirely from my fear of bites, and not really especially from any behavior he was demonstrating. I think also I’m anxious because he looks like a Chow and I’ve heard such negative things about how aggressive they are. So I think he is a much “better” dog than I’m giving him credit for.
There are still a lot of areas to work on, definitely, but right now I’m pretty happy with him.
Oh also the vet assistant showed me a better way to do eye/ear drops. We still didn’t do a perfect job with the eye drops but it was much better.
Yay! Happy news. So glad the day went better. 
So, now that you can breath a little, can you tell us what he looks like, what size he is, long coat or short, etc. Details! 
Here are some pics.
He continues to do well and bond well. His eye is almost back to normal. The vet thinks 8 or maybe slightly older is a decent estimate, so he’s not ancient. He also thinks that even though he’s underweight it’s probably a good thing for him given his arthritis.
He’s much more comfortable with a lot of things. Right now the only sticking points are getting out of the car and into the elevator going down (he freezes for both, but has no problem getting into the car or into the elevator going up). So we take the stairs a lot.
He loves to walk and loves to ride in the car. This weekend I might take him for a short hike to see how much he can do.
Hmm, he just now started pawing and chewing on the curtain and didn’t really stop with no. He also pawed at the router on the floor and thereby disconnected the internet. I just pulled the curtain up and put the router up but ultimately this type of behavior does have to stop.
Cute doggie!
He might have a bit of chow in him (the shape of the head particularly reminds me of my boyo), but he’s definitely not purebred. Anyway, don’t be scared off by stories you’ve heard about chows necessarily being aggressive; I’ve had several, and their personalities vary quite a bit. The late Señora, for example, was the most laidback dog i have ever seen (and she was a purebred chow). NOTHING bothered her: strangers in her house, a mouse eating dog food out of her bowl right in front of her, a bird landing on her back while she was asleep, all good. Not a problem. She didn’t care.
The current four-legged Chow-boy, on the other hand, thinks he was born to chase rabbits (once in a great while he even catches one), and is right on the job when somebody comes to the door. He likes women and kids, and always wants to be petted, but is not so sure about men, and can be quite timid with large loud smokers.
Do you have something you can distract him with? a bone or toy for him, maybe? What were you doing when he started chewing on the curtain–could it be him just wanting some attention?
Definitely try to use distraction to get him away from the curtains, etc, as others suggest. Use “no” or “leave it” to tell him what he’s doing is wrong, and then immediately offer him the distractor (a chew toy he likes is good). As soon as he takes it (or even starts paying any attention to it), praise and positive feedback.
He has a straight tail. I haven’t much let him interact with dogs just yet but unlike Rusty he is very interested in them, pulls toward them etc
His head also has a bit of an Akita look, which prompted my curiosity.
How is it going now?
Things are going well. He continues to become more and more affectionate, and sometimes when I sleep he’ll sleep in the same room with me (instead of on the balcony, his previous favorite place). I am really happy because we are working a little bit on gentle training/bad behavior redirecting. But I do have some more questions for you all:
He is really scared of the elevator–he’s gone on it probably 20 times, and he’s a little more comfortable but not much. I don’t want to always take the stairs with him because his arthritis is really bad and I don’t want to make it worse. Right now this is what happens: we get near the elevator, he pulls away, I basically plant, bring out a little piece of hotdog and coax him closer. We do this three or four times until he finally gets into the elevator, each time getting a little harder as we get closer to the elevator. Sometimes also he doesn’t want to come inside after the walk and I do the same hot dog/coaxing thing, but it’s a lot easier.
Do you all think this will eventually get easier?