Someone is leaving the office and we need a trick to play on her on her last day.
I’ll take any suggestions from kind and gentle to downright nasty.
Come on, Dopers.
Remove the insides from her computer monitor and put 127 crickets and a lobster inside. Then replace the screen and watch from a safe distance.
egg
We used to tape people to their chairs with duct tape and roll them around every building on the campus. This might be hard if you work at Cisco in San Jose.
Well, Egg, I truly wish I could do that. Unfortunately, I think I’d be the next out the door.
As for the fake lottery ticket idea: evil!!! I couldn’t do that because I know how gutted I’d be. The fake parking ticket was bad enough. My mate flipped until he noticed it was from the Neopolitan Police.
Cornflakes, great idea. I’m off to maintenance.
My former co-workers stuck sweet little notes on all my personal possessions on my last day–“How could you leave us” in my tylenol bottle, “Sweets for the sweet” in my candy jar, “The Day the Music Died” inside my portable cd player… They made me cry… It was very nice.
We got hold of the keys to somebody’s car and filled it completely with polystyrene packing chips (through the sunroof); he was not entirely pleased and we got into trouble for littering because they went everywhere when the car was opened…
…But with a little ingenuity you could probably glue a single layer of them to sheets of newspaper and just fix those inside the windows, making it look like the whole car was filled up.
Just fill up the car with wadded-up newspaper . . .
My old boss had a drawer full of colored markers that he used every day. Every color had a purpose. One day one of the crewleaders rearranged all the caps. Unhappy boss . . .
There’s the old “reprogram the keyboard to Dvorak” trick . . .
One co-worker was a real pain – always whining and bitching about the tiniest little thing. We often had “pig-outs” where everyone would bring food for the group to munch all night (graveyard shift). She never participated because “I don’t have time to make anything” – but we never said it had to be homemade; some people just brought chips and dip. Whatever. Of course we always had a pig-out on someone’s last day, and we had one for her. She didn’t bring anything, but we did: crackers and port w(h)ine cheese, nuts, crab salad . . . we would have brought fruitcake if it had been in season. Unfortunately she actually caught on, and griped to the boss in the morning. We heard that he was not happy, but he never said anything to us.
Tie little tiny jungle bells underneath the car (nowhere near any heat-producing area!). Drives them nuts to figure out where the noise is coming from.
Cover the inside of the car with tinsel: hung off the rear-view mirror, garland on the dash and seats. Cover everything. Mistletoe on the rear-view mirror is a plus.
Got Christmas lights with a battery pack? Adds to the tinsel effect above.
If you can get their car keys early on the last day, drop them in a pail or bucket of water and place bucket in freezer. At my last gig, my beloved co-workers did this to me using a 5 gallon bucket. They also used fishing line tied to the handel to dangle my keys halfway in the bucket so I couldn’t just chip them out. Had to thaw the whole damn iceblock under hot water.
Another good one is to get some company stationary and send an official sounding letter to your soon to be ex-coworker telling them of their “exit physical” that they must not eat after midnight due to a blood draw. Hilarity ensues as the person’s complaints about being hungry get louder and louder. Even better if you all bring in treats for their last day and eat in front of them.
An addendum to this one is if you can get ahold of a speciman cup have them fill it and send them to the nurse’s office. If you can get the nurse in on it, do it. We managed to get a co-worker wandering all over the building with a cup of his own urine for most of the morning.
jk1245, may I say for the record, that your latter suggestion about the “exit physical” is the lowest, meanest, and twisted sick practical joke I have ever heard.
::files it away for future reference::
Thank you.
Some mild suggestions to combat the ones above 
Lower armrests on chair, push chair right in under table, raise arm-rests. I have seen a technician unscrew the chair to get it back out… :putz: (In other words the arms now get stuck against the edge underneath the desk and can’t easily be pulled out.
Use adhesive pads (less long term than superglue) and stick more or less everything to their desk. Receiver to phone, etc.
Glad you liked the idea.
Remember, if you’re too cheap to give them a going away present, you can always giftwrap their car. Using lots of Saran-Wrap, wrap around the car and over and under at the doors. Top it all off with a big red bow. I would guess that it will take about two to five minutes to unwrap for each roll of Saran-Wrap used. I would be afraid of the Saran-Wrap bonding to the car’s paint if it’s hot out.
Tailpipe whistles work well. 
Stick your boss’ golf trophy in one of her boxes.
You must really hate your boss. That sounds painful…:eek: