Just caught an “appearance” of Triumph on Conan O’Brien, I think from last week–Triumph was at the celebration of Chinese New Year because it’s the Year of the Dog. I hadn’t seen any Triumph pieces in a while and they’ve made some “upgrades” especially in his appearance (LOL) - he has legs and paws now, although they aren’t very realistic-looking. But honestly, that dog gets away with saying and doing things that you wouldn’t believe! That people -couldn’t- say or do, that’s for sure. In the past, when Triumph has done visits to the dog shows for instance, they show him humping other dogs. In the New Year’s piece, he visited an accupuncturist (is that the right word?), and somehow (!!) was able to convince the man to talk dirty to him and don an executioner-like mask while he was being treated. It was the closest thing to porn that I’ve ever seen on network tv!! And he left the accupuncturist with an autographed picture of himself. 
Triumph also visited many market places in China town, and tried to make off with items for free, because it was “his Year.” He even tried to steal a cap right off a woman’s head (the poor woman looked like she didn’t really want to participate, and they did give her the hat back). One stand, Triumph had picked something up and told the owner that he was taking it–the guy was busy with another transaction but as soon as Triumph started to actually leave with the item, the guy hollared, “No! Stop!” You have to laugh, though, because Triumph does get away with doing things that you just shouldn’t do … at least not on network TV.
Carriage return’s on the right.
Triumph is a guilty pleasure of mine, but try as he might, he’ll never reach the heights of comedy he attained while giving the business to Michael Jackson’s supporters at his most recent trial.
On a scale of one to ten, how old do you think Michael Jackson’s boyfriend is?
That line still cracks me up.
The Star Wars one is my favorite. Pure brilliance.
Maybe I don’t understand, but what is the relevance of this reply? Is it because my post is all in one paragraph? WTF?!
I bet iff Triumph had said it, he would have gotten away without the “WTF?!”.
I keed, I keed.
Makes it quite difficult to read, when you don’t break it up a bit, just saying.
He sounds kind of similar to Plucka Duck, though I don’t think Plucka ever talked.
My favorite Triumph line was when he was interviewing some American Idol hopefuls.
“At what point did you realize you have no appreciable talent?”
The girl looked like she was going to cry. Awesome.
I don’t watch Conan, so I don’t see Triumph much; but one of his bits made the viral rounds that had me in stitches. He was doing a weather report for some Hawaii station and had the anchors mortified.
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Ohhh, little clouds are coming into the sky. Poor Hawaii… Screw you Hawaii!!!
I’m just going to say what everyone in America is thinking, Hawaii, you’re a pussy!
The Montreal one(that they ended up having to apologise for) was funny as hell too.
Maybe if you’re outside of Canada.
I love Triumph and his schtick, but that was seriously politically tone-deaf – especially since the Canadian government had subsidized Conan’s show for that appearance, which gave the appearance of an endorsement.
Seriously, relations between English and French Canada are too sensitive for that. The Confederation has come very close to splitting apart in recent memory, and this is a continuing possibility. To give you an idea of how this came across, imagine the US federal goverment sponsoring a European show where, as a joke, a comic went into predominantly black neighborhoods and deliberately invoked the most hateful and insulting stereotypes out there. Canadians aren’t exactly a humourless people, but that’s just not on.
Now, the bit with the Star Wars fans, on the other hand – comedy gold.
Could you elaborate?
You haven’t seen Return of the
Dorks?
Enjoy!
(paraphrasing from memory here)
In the Star Wars line:
“Look what I found…a girl! How does it feel to be surrounded by guys who have no idea how to please you?”
On the buttons on the front of a guy’s Darth Vader costume:
“Which one calls you parents to come pick you up?”
To a pregnant woman:
“Ah, you’ll be giving birth to a young nerd, eh?”
“Yep, a young Jedi”
“When’s he due?”
“In six weeks”
“That’ll be the last time he sees female genitalia”
The funniest one I ever saw was an appearance of his on the Hollywood Squares. He had a line (obviously fed to him) – the host asked him “How often are you supposed to cut your dog’s hair?”
And he replied about something “I don’t believe in cutting dog’s hair. Shaved pussies on the other hand…”
I also remember some funny stuff about his conflict with the pets.com handpuppet. I remember for one of his news conferences he had a guy playing Elian Gonzalez’s uncle. Guess you had to be there.
And snarky comments meant simply to poke at the OP are right out, period. At least in Cafe Society.
Please don’t do this again.
Caught the “Best of Triumph…” show the other night (on the G4 network, whatever the hell that is). The line that had me rolling was during one of his Westminster Kennel Club Show appearances. Referring to one of the show bitches:
“What do you mean she’s not a filthy whore? She’s had more bones buried in her than my backyard!”
Awesome.
Triumph: I heard you are in a new vampire moive?
Jon Bon Jovi: Yep.
Triumph: Finally, a role that requires you to suck!
I grew up in Quebec in the heartland of the French Separatist movement as an immigrant frog (Chicoutimi to be precise) and found that funny as fuck. I was just about to cite it as one of my favourite moments although it still happens to be topped by the one about going down on a Pekinese. Some of us do maintain a sense of humour about such things.
Funnier still was the trainwreck BBQ Pit thread that followed that comment, actually.