Troublesome shower won't turn off. What to do?

My upstairs shower has always been somewhat troublesome. The shower never has hot water unless you run the dishwasher downstairs first. That’s weird, but not a problem… it just makes sure that I do the dishes regularly. And I can always take a bath downstairs… which is what I’ve mostly been doing for a while now.

But now the shower’s started having a more severe problem. After taking a shower, the water won’t turn off. The shower has one of these annoying knobs that you pull to turn the water on and push in to turn the water off (turning left makes it hot, turning right makes it cold). Well, after I’m done with the shower, I push the knob in, but the knob won’t stay pushed-in… it moves itself back out so the water can flow out. It doesn’t need to gush out, but it does come out with a fairly constant flow.

It’s like the water doesn’t “want” to stop coming. Usually after a few days of playing with the knob, I can get it to go get back in. This naturally discourages me from taking another shower for a few months.

What could be causing this? And is there anything I can do short of calling a plumber?

Is there access to the wall behind the shower. Replacing the valve assembly is not an unassailable task to a determined homeowner.

Might need to punch a hole in the wall and patch it later, but still doable

Before punching any holes in the wall, more then likely it’s just the cartridge that needs to be replaced which can be done from the front…likely with nothing more then a screwdriver and possibly a pliers if it’s really stuck in there.

There’s a cap over the knob that pries off. A screw under the cap. After you take the screw out the knob comes off. Then, typically, the entire cartridge will pull out and you can get a new one at the hardware store that will drop right into place. This is, of course, assuming you have a name brand valve (Moen, Price Prister, Delta, Kohler etc…). You’ll want to turn the water off first and probably Google things like “Replacing cartridge on [brand name] single handle shower valve” to get more thorough directions.
I’ll give you better then 90% odds that this is the problem. The price will very wildly. I’ve seen them as low as $30 and as high as $200. Home Depot stocks a lot of them but for some higher end brands you’ll have to go to a plumbing supply house house. Also, some manufacturers will back them for life, so it’s worth checking that out as well. I just replaced my parents $175 cartridge for free, IIRC it was a Kohler. My work sink is a [ETA, don’t remember off hand] and I’ve swapped one of the Carts out on that twice for free as well. All under lifetime warranties. No questions asked. I just called up, explained the problem and had a new one a few days later.

I agree, the cartridge. I think Ace hardware has their brand the common Moen cartridge for $14.

Note, if you shut off the main water valve, you need to give the water heater a place to expand. That is taken care of once you remove the cartridge.

Also note…which **Joey **noted, but I wanted to make it clear in case the OP missed it…

If you DON’T turn off the water first, you’ll have a huge mess on your hands, and it’ll be virtually impossible to put the new cartridge in.

In other words…MAKE SURE YOU TURN THE WATER OFF BEFORE REMOVING THE CARTRIDGE.

In my house, I have to do that outside…I don’t have individual shutoffs for my showers.
It’s also worth noting that you could do damage if you pull too hard on the cartridge to remove it if it’s stuck. Be careful.
-D/a

If you are not confident about doing this work yourself - then call a plumber.

For folks that are used to this kinda stuff it’s not a big deal, but there are subtleties.

For folks that are not used to this kinda stuff it’s full of little gotchas - and you’ll end up calling a plumber anyway.

Also, just so you know, if you don’t turn the water off, when you pull the cartridge, the water won’t come out of the showerhead, it’ll come out of the valve assembly (where the cartridge was) and quite a bit will end up behind the wall. This will also happen if you don’t seat the cartridge in all the way.
When you turn the water back on, it’s helpful to have someone watching that can yell to you if it’s leaking so you can shut it back off. If you’re sure everything is lined up, sometimes it just means it needs to be pushed in a but harder. Of course, if you shut the water off right at the shower, this is much easier to do on your own.

Also, swapping out a cartridge is handyman work…not plumber work. It’s likely going to be quite a bit more expensive to have a plumber come in for something that any handyman can do in about 20 minutes. (On preview I see Icarus said Plumber. I’m not sure if that was generic advice or not, but I still stand by this advice)

Now, I’m still curious about your other problem. The upstairs shower never has hot water unless you run the dishwasher first? Never? As in, no matter how long you let the shower run for it’ll never ever got hot water but if you run the dishwasher then it’s fine? What if you just run the sink next to the dishwasher for a minute before taking a shower? That’s truly an odd problem.
Assuming you never ever got hot water unless the dishwasher is run first…
First off, I assume the second floor shower is above the kitchen so it’s all on the same riser (otherwise I’m even more confused). I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that the kitchen sink is either a single handle faucet and/or has a hose. I’m wiling to bet that the problem lies in there. If you want to test out my theory turn off the cold and hot water shutoffs under the sink. If you can then get hot water in the shower you need to replace the faucet*. If that doesn’t make a difference you have something else going on and I’m not sure what it is without giving it some more thought.

*Actually it’s probably just a bad (cracked) cartridge again or worn out washers or a bad diverter for the hose and since I don’t know if the OP has a hose or what style of sink or really anything since he hasn’t really been back since he asked the question replacing the faucet is an easy solution.
What’s likely happening is that when the shower calls for hot water it’s getting some hot water like it should but it’s also getting cold water that’s traveling through the cracked cartridge in the kitchen sink. Why it works after the dishwasher has been used, I’m not sure. Maybe the OP runs the hot water before starting the dishwasher and leaves the faucet handle over the left so the crack is turned a different way. Maybe the hot water running through it expands the crack enough to close it. I’m not sure. But it’s getting cold water when you turn on the hot water is almost always a bad cartridge/mixing valve somewhere in the house. It can be at that faucet of somewhere else. Since the OP mentioned the dishwasher, I’m guessing the sink is the culprit. As I said above, shutting off the hot/cold water under the sink and then testing the hot water in the shower will test the theory.