That would be ironic.
Alannis needs to have someone look up ‘ironic’ in the dictionary and read it to her.
A firehouse burning down is ironic.
Breaking your ankle rushing to a safety inservice is ironic.
Her lyrics describe minor bummers, nothing related to irony.
And can anyone explain why Sheryl Crowe is yelling about in “If It Makes You Happy, Why Are You So Sad?” ?!
For that matter, her song "Are You Strong Enough To Be My
Man?" should really be titled, “Are You Dumb Enough To Put Up With Me?”
The most ironic part is that she made a jillion dollars off that song without knowing the meaning of “ironic.”
That really hokey, cheesy song that begins, “It’s the (something) of the day.” I change the station as soon as it comes on. Occasionally, however, I’m unfortunate enough to hear the line, “I just made you say ‘underwear.’” I hold this lyric personally accountable for all the cattle mutilations that go on in this world.
dr hermes - I refer to “Are You Strong Enough To Be My Man” as “Are You Wrong Enough To Be My Fan.”
Strainger - That’d be “Pinch Me” by Barenaked Ladies.
:goes into his weekly ELP-Anonymous meeting:
“Hi, my name is Sublight, and I really like Emerson, Lake and Palmer.”
(everyone) “Hi, Sublight.”
That said, I really wish these guys had stuck to instrumentals, because some of the lyrics they came up with are just plain embarrassing.
“You can (something) some blues and photograph your soul,
You can even dig some diamonds out of rock 'n roll,
You can change the world, but if you lose control,
They will take away your T-shirt.”
huh?
“Unlock the door and unbar the gate,
I’ll write ‘I love you’ on a slate”
cringe
–sublight.
“Got to catch an early train,got to be at work by nine
And if I had an airplane I still wouldn’t make it
ontime”
chorus
It’s just another manic Monday.
Wish it was Sunday
Cuz that’s my Fun day
My " I don’t have to run day"
It’s just another manic Monday
Whoa ooo ooo
Must…get…stupid…lyrics …out…of…head.
OK, I’ve got a couple, both from country songs (which is almost too easy).
From the Dolly Parton/Kenny Rogers duet “Islands in the Stream”:
Baby when I met you there was peace unknown
I set out to get you with a fine-tooth comb
I mean, is he (I believe it’s Kenny singing this line) saying that at the time he met her, he was at peace, and set out to get her “with a fine-tooth comb” (whatever that means) in order to put a little disruption into his life?
But my all-time favorite has to be from “Tumblin’ Tumbleweeds” by the Sons of the Pioneers:
I’m a rovin’ cowboy
Ridin’ all day long
Tumbleweeds around me
Sing their lonely song
:chuckle:
:snort:
I’m sorry ( :mmph: ), the image of singing tumbleweeds always gets me. Excuse me, I have to go now.
For crap lyrics I think that anything that contains the line
“Wave your hands in the air…(add annoying wooo wooo noises)…like you just don’t care”
(SClub7 springs to mind, along with various others) has to take the biscuit. I MEAN COME ON! Surely you can be more creative than that! They just aren’t trying.
Also annoying is the Coldplay song “Yellow.”
Look at the stars,
See how they shine for you,
Oh what a thing to do,
And they were all yellow.
And so on and so on.
Comedy bad lyric awards have to go to Boney M:
“Ra-ra-rasputin lover of a russian queen
There was a cat who could really dance
Ra-ra-rasputin russia’s greatest love machine”
As for Ms. Morrisette…well what can I say. I don’t think I would find 10,000 spoons particularly ironic no matter how much I needed a damned knife, I’d be like “Wow, look at all these spoons!”
“Peace unknown” means he WASN’T at peace. However why he set out to get her with a “fine-tooth comb” is still a mystery. Perhaps he was a hair-dresser?? 
Has nobody heard “Put It In My Mouth” yet? I don’t even know the band’s name:
My baby left me
Left me sad and blue
I didn’t know what to do
About my baby, baby, baby
But then I met his best friend
And he took me to his house
And I said, I said, I said
Put it in my mouth
In my motherfucking mouth
And you can just eat me out
You can eat me out
Well, you can lick it you can suck it you can taste it,
I’m talking every drip-drop don’t you waste it…
It gets worse from there.
Also gotta give anti-props to Live for having the balls to record a song called “The Dolphin’s Cry.” Is there anything more insipid and glurgesque than combining the words “dolphin” and “cry”? Makes you think of airbrushed T-shirts, don’t it?
And how about Britney’s “Hit Me Baby One More Time”? Does it not bother anyone that she’s singing a song about how it’s better for a teenaged girl to have a boyfriend who beats her up than to be single?
Yes, that is exactly what I think of when I hear that song.
Thanks, racinchikki. I completely butchered those opening lyrics as well. (Told you I didn’t like that song!) It came on the radio last night and I listened long enough to figure out how badly I’d screwed my post up. The opening lyrics are (oh, geez, let’s see if I get it right this time), “It’s the perfect time of year.”
OK, so he wasn’t at peace; I guess I can live with that (although “there was” peace unknown is still a little vague to me). But exactly how fine-toothed a comb would you need to “get” Dolly Parton (or anyone, for that matter)? I mean, the teeth could be a foot apart and they’d still “get” the person, right??
Dang! I could sure have used some of those Bonus Points. Yep, the lyrics are insipid, but the song moves right along.
A few folks remember them and Western Union, which was their biggest song. But only we truly trivial will recall that they had three(!)other songs that made the Top 40 in 1966 and 1967. Any takers?
I wouldn’t have thought of it (it’s one of the things I’m trying to forget from my childhood) but I just heard this:
http://www.eddy.mv.ru/andy/song/sd
on VH1 today.
And this is from a site of ALL of Andy Gibb’s lyrics :eek:
I think what Kenny Rogers was trying to say with the “fine tooth comb” usage is something I’ve only heard in the South.
If my grandmother gave me a bar of soap and a fine-tooth comb, that means she wanted me to get clean. (Fine-tooth combs are used frequently on matted or lice-infested hair, especially the latter.) So I think Kenny meant “I cleaned myself up, became a better man so I could get you.”
The way you’re bathed in light, Reminds me of that night
God laid me down into your rose garden of trust
And I was swept away, With nothing left to say
Some helpless fool yeah
I was lost in a swoon of peace
You’re all I need to find, So when the time is right
Come to me sweetly, Come to me,
Come to me
Chorus:
Love will lead us, Alright
Love will lead us she will lead us
Can you hear the Dolphin’s Cry
See the road rise up to meet us
It’s in the air we breathe tonight
Love will lead us she will lead us
Oh yeah we meet again, It’s like we never left
Time in between was just a dream
Did we leave this place? This crazy fog surrounds me
You wrap your legs around me
All I can do to try and breathe
Let me breathe
So that I, So we can go together
(ch)
Life is like a shooting star
It don’t matter who you are if you only run for cover,
It’s just a waste of time
We are lost 'til we are found
This phoenix rises up from the ground
And all these wars are over
Any song about sex on the beach is ok in my book 
Lots of great “bad” lyrics here, but most of you have missed an important observation here: What may be bad lyrics to you might be good lyrics to another. What is an example of a “Good” lyric? I guarantee no matter what you come up with, be it Dylan, the Beatles, whatever, there will be someone who thinks you’re out of your tree for even suggesting this is a “Good” lyric.
My opinion is that most lyrics are there simply as mnemonics to help remember the melodies.
I’m fairly eclectic as far as my listening tastes go, so I’ll sing along with Dylan(probably as close as pop music will ever get to poetry) but then on the other hand, I love singing along with “The Gates of Delerium” by Yes.
Now that’s a truly awful, overblown pretentious bit of drivel.
But i LOVE it.
Go Figure.
TTFN
Chris W
Without looking it up (so one or more may not have quite made the Top 40), the Five Americans got radio play for:
I See the Light
Evol-Not Love
Western Union
Zip Code
Sound of Love
The first two were on the HBR label (Hanna-Barbera!), the others on Abnak.
And yes, I still am obsessive about this stuff after all these years!