I know your words and what they say about you. And your words are reflective of someone suffering depression but yet still needs to fight for a man lying to him so badly that this… abuser… needs this defense.
Analogizing with TV tropes, think of a wife having to wear sunglasses at spotty times throughout the year. She, too, will get tired. She, too, will turn on those who advise her to leave him, to leave the situation, to repudiate the decision she made to marry her abuser. She will say ‘Betty, what about that time Tom got drunk and hit on Cheryl?’ if Betty should express concern.
Just like your response to me. You don’t have to do this to yourself: You don’t have to continue to allow him to treat you this way. It is hard to break the cycle, but it can be done, Eenerms.
PM me if you need to.