Truth in Advertising-NOT!

This seems the best place to put this. I pick up the new Cosmo and see on the cover the teaser “4 Words That Can Stop a Date Rapist”. This might come in handy, I think. I turn to the article-but where are those 4 words??? I find words all right, several hundred of them. I can even put them together to from 4-word phrases like
“I really want you” and
“Please do me now”,
but somehow I don’t think those would work well.
Why do they do things like this? If you promise me 4 words then tell me WHICH 4 words. OK, done ranting.
(And yes, I know that I deserve it for reading Cosmo).

I’m a man?
I’ve got herpes?

Nope, those are three words.

My mom’s Janet Reno?

Hmmm…maybe.

I read cosmo magazine

Well, that would sure stop me.

I’ve got a Big Gun?
SWAT Team Behind You?
I have bubonic Plague?

I am Janet Reno?

Or maybe:
Sticky wicket isn’t cricket.

If this doesn’t make them stop and reprioritize, nothing will.