Envy: wanting what another has.
Jealousy: fear of being replaced.
That’s the way I look at it. If I start to feel envious of a friend or family member who, seemingly with great ease, gets to have something I’ve always wanted for myself, I remember that’s exactly the point. If I want something for myself, then I want it for my friends as well. If the friend gets to have whatever it is, and I don’t, it’s still good.
What the heck? looks it up Well, I’ll be hornswoggled.
One of my friend recently had his car crashed into, the dude had to pay him out a goodly sum but has been dribbling the funds into the courthouse.
Last week someone crashed into my car and the dude has to pay me out, he says he’s bringing the entire funds to me today. I could hear my mate gritting his teeth when I told him. Obviously he will be glad if I get the money promptly but he’ll still be pissed off if I do.
Incubus Call your friend a Jammy Bastard as we do in England and have done with it.
Everybody feels it sometimes. My SO’s brother and sister-in-law basically get everything handed to them on a platter. Child care, living quarters, for the longest time, they were only paying $400 a month to the parents for rent, utilities, food, and lodging (their only other expenses were gas and daycare).
After years of this, however, their relationship with the parents is irreparably damaged and no one in the situation is happy. I try to look at the big picture. Sure, maybe we don’t have all those advantages, but we take care of ourselves and don’t have to answer to anyone.
Another thing to consider is that friend might be dealing with other struggles that you don’t know about. Things aren’t always a good as they look on the outside.
This is why I am rarely on Facebook, if I am, I’m posting about some trivia factoid, quote, etc. I am truly happier not hearing about other folks’ successes and such. Ignorance is truly bliss !If I do catch someone telling me their good news, I keep it in perspective. Like a friend announcing she was pregnant. It was good for her as that meant her IV treatments worked and that it was her last try. (and that she overcame brain surgery just ten yrs earlier).
Heck, I won a sweepstakes and I won’t be posting that on FB. Not that it would make folks resentful but I don’t wanna have folks hitting me up for money.
I’m actually in a similar situation as your friend, and gosh, are my wife and I happy that both of her parents died within 6 months of one another, at the ages of 69 and 70, and left us with a house which, when sold, will pay off our modest credit card debt and leave us with a little something for our own retirement. Life is swell now, because having a little extra money is so much better than having live parents!! I’ll bet you’re really jealous and wish your family members would die, too!
It might be, if your parents were assholes.
Huh? looks it up Well, I’m flabbergasted.
Well, my in-laws weren’t.
Sorry if I went off there, but the deaths of my wife’s parents (one expected, one not) and dealing with the aftermath have been such a huge steaming pile of suck that the very idea that inheriting a house makes any of it even remotely worth it just rubs me the wrong way.
OP, realize that your friend’s perceived good fortune has come at a very large cost. Not everything is all about money.
The in-laws aren’t dead- just because they inherited a house doesn’t mean the owners are deceased. His wife’s parents are alive and well, living in another state.
Hey, as long as we’re talking dead in-laws, I’ll be happy to sacrifice mine to anyone or anything. Got a penny? Done. Lesser demons preferred.
Let me preface this by saying that I love my life, I love farming, and I wouldn’t trade it for a an office job and a house in the city. With that said, what I do is hard, it doesn’t pay a whole lot and I don’t get much time off the land. When a friend announced that she and her husband were taking a two week trip to Costa Rica, I was quite envious. I didn’t beat myself up for for my feelings because I’m not the Buddha-just a regular Jane doing the best I can. I also didn’t piss on her parade because I reminded myself of all the strings that went along with the trip-commuting to work every day, putting up with all the office bullshit and all the other things I don’t want that I’d have to do to fly away for two weeks. I think what you’re feeling is perfectly reasonable.
Huh? looks it up Well, I’m beside myself with bewildered astonishment. And in astonished bewilderment.
Glad to know I’m not just seeing double. 
OK, fair enough. “Inherited” usually implies that somebody died. And my own recent experience has made me a bit touchy on that subject.
Your friend’s in-laws gave him a free house, then. That’s something I can see getting envious over. But, yeah, you gotta let this shit go. It’d be nice if the lucky breaks in life were distributed evenly, but we all know that ain’t the case. Best you can do is take care of your own life as well as you’re able, which it sounds like you’re already doing.
Carry on!
Don’t be. It’s like less and fewer–a distinction that prescriptivists push but hasn’t existed in a long, long time.
Sounds like you and your wife have a good and strong relationship. As long as you two are happy together you have all you need to live well. Remember, “the best revenge is living well.” as long as you are happy with what you have, others will envy you.