Trying to help people who just don't get it

I have this cow-orker (with no internet connection at home) who wanted me to get her some concert tickets via TicketBastard.

We looked up the venue and she told me the seats she would like to have. She gave me her credit card info and I was ready to go. I explained to her how the process works: you log in to the site and indicate the tickets you want, the seats best matching your choice come up and you have two minutes to decide or you have to start over.

The tickets went on sale at noon yesterday and she called just as I was getting the ticket info. The first choice was about halfway back from the stage. She started asking questions: why can’t I get closer seats? (you want four seats together, this is the best you can get); why are the tickets going so quickly? (because there could be hundreds or thousands of other people trying to get tickets); what would you do? (I’d get the first best location); etc.

While she’s asking me these questions, time has run out and I have to start over. The new selection is slightly closer but off to the side. Once again, I tell her when they say two minutes, they mean TWO MINUTES! I’m trying to hurry her along and she says, “well, I guess, what do you think?” AAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!

I replied, “No, you have to say yes or no. It’s totally your decision”. She decides yes and I complete the transaction.

GAH!

Toady she calls and asks about getting plane tickets. I go to Expedia and get the info. Again with the questions. I try to explain that the prices could change between now and when she plans to go (early October) and that there were few choices. She asks me which airline I prefer. I tell her I’ve only flown on one trip (1994 to go the MST3K convention) and I flew on Delta. My guess is that of the two airlines she can choose from (Delta & American Airlines), they are probably about the same.

I also tried to explain that the prices fluctuate and you never know when the airlines are going to offer specials. It’s a gamble. YOU have to decide when to buy.

It is in my nature to help people whenever I can, but Sweet Zombie Jesus, people can be dense! If I tell you I don’t know the answer, don’t rephrase the question. I STILL DON’T KNOW!!

Anybody else have to deal with this?

Well, as “Pops” Mercotan used to tell me: “If you help a lame duck over a fence, it’ll crap in your hands every time.”

And that wisdom has stuck with me, and guides me to this day.