Jeremy…
Nobody ever calls me after they’ve done something smart.
You forgot Dr. Laura. Ugh. I hate Dr. Laura. She’s fifty times worse than Dear Abby and Ann Landers put together and multiplied by Marilyn Vos Savant.
~Harborina
“This is my sandbox. I’m not allowed to go in the deep end. That’s where I saw the leprechauns.”
Pauly Shore
If Doctor Laura is on it, then please add
Rush Limbaugh
and also :
the CIA
the FBI
the DoD
and numerous other governmental agencies
and simply becaue he deserves to be there :
Ted Turner
Thanks
“A single lifetime, even though entirely devoted to the sky, would not be enough for the investigation of so vast a subject.” - Seneca
I think Mike Tyson nominates himself with this quote :
“When I was in prison I was wrapped up in all those deep books. That Tolstoy crap. People shouldn’t read that stuff. When we read these
books what purpose does it serve in this day and time?”
How about MTV? Fashionably Loud? Do I have to say anything more?
And Maury Povich, the man who has stopped trying to think of new topics and focuses entirely on “Wild Teens,” without even bothering to wonder how they got so wild in the first place, treating the parents like saints for putting up with them instead of monsters for making the kids the way they are.
Fred Durst, lead singer of Limp Bizkit, who claims to have never read a book in his entire life.
The truths of religion are never so well understood as by those who
have lost the power of reasoning.
–Voltaire
Donald Wildmon heads the National Foundation for Decency, or the Legion of Decency, or whatever he calls it these days. He announced various boycotts of tv advertisers, with limited success, before getting 7-11 to remove Playboy and other magazines from their shelves in 1986. He often calls for movie boycotts, before first seeing the movies in question.
Doesn’t MvS take IQ tests for a living? If so, she’s probably pretty good at it by now. That doesn’t make her the world’s smartest human, though: if any experienced Dopers were to do the same, you’d probably be scoring in her range before too long.
How about adding Jerry Falwell and Oral Roberts?
“You can observe a lot just by watching.” – Yogi Berra
Sorry, should read, “without seeing the movies in question.”
Surely Louis Farrakhan has earned a spot on the list.
Paul Harvey. He spreads even more urban legends and mistruths than Ann Landers and Dear Abby put together.
Can’t forget Andrew Weil either.
Two personal pet hates of mine: Andrea Dworkin and Catherine MacKinnon.
Gloria Allred
The Spokesweasel for the Shrill and Strident
any church
any 12-step program
any of them promote the idea that you are powerless w/ have no control over your own actions or destiny.
the state of kansas
kansas is finally coming into its own as a place where the populace lives in a fairy tale. l. frank baum couldn’t have thought of a better place to have based his stories, altho, of course, flying monkeys will never evolve there.
The inventor of Cliff’s Notes?
“You should tell the truth, expose the lies and live in the moment.” - Bill Hicks
How about Phyllis Schlafly?
Eat right, exercise daily, live clean, die anyway.
I got one!
Natalie -fucking- Ross
I hated that bitch, talk about ignorant!!
Oh, wait…you want FAMOUS folks huh?
How 'bout Mr Bill-“I did not lie, I just didnt tell the truth”-Clinton?
And the NRA
I agree that most of these people should be on the list, but you forgot somebody:
Jesse “The Guv” Ventura
Shadowfox
“Distinguished” Sexy assistant to Head Honcho,
Self-Righteous Clique
Okay, I made it into work today (Saturday) after all. These are some great nominations. We now have:
Art Bell
The U.S. Congress
L.Ron Hubbard
Lyndon Larouche
The Learning Channel
Uri Geller
The Kansas State Board of Education
Derida
Whoever dreamed up the “infomercial”
Whoever dreamed up the term “infomercial”
Dionne Warwick and the Psychic Friends Network
The various State Lottery Commissions
The RJ Reynolds Tobacco Company
The Republican Party
Slim Fast
Shirley Maclaine
The FDA (well-intentioned, but overly PACed)
The EPA (same story)
The PACs
NPR
The Democratic Party
Jerry Springer
Ed McMahon and Publisher’s Clearinghouse
Fred Phelps
Jack Chick
Marilyn vos Savant (for heresy)
Rush Limbaugh
Howard Stern
Donald Wildmon (Wildemon?)
Martha Stewart
Al Gore
Ann Landers
Abby VanBuren (Dear Abby)
Dr. Laura Schlesinger, or however you spell it
Pauly Shore
The CIA
The FBI
The DoD
Ted Turner
Mike Tyson
MTV (Good One!)
Maury Povich
Fed Durst
Jerry Falwell
Oral Roberts
John Rush
Louis Farrakhan
Paul Harvey
Andrea Dworkin
Catherine MacKinnon
Gloria Allred
Cliff of Cliff’s Notes
Phyllis Schlafly
The NRA
Natalie-fucking-Ross
Governor Jesse Ventura
The list waxes. But I confess to being culturally illiterate enough not to know some of these people. I’m going to suggest that future nominees have a brief statement of why they deserve to be here, preferably with an asinine quote. The Mike Tyson one was a good example.
In adherence to precedent I’ve listed the following people, despite their being no more to be than vaguely familiar names, and sometimes not even that.
Pauly Shore (I’ve heard his name many times, but honestly have no idea what he’s famous for, besides celebrity. Why should he be on the EL?)
Fred Durst
OOPS, I just realized I accidentally put YOUR name on there, John Rush. Editorial error only, be assured. You’re not…ON THE LIST.
Andrew Weil (sounds familiar, but I can’t quite place it).
Gloria Allred
Natalie-fucking-Ross
Ah, I overlooked our illustrious POTUS. Bill Clinton certainly has not been a shining light of forthcoming honesty for which he is now ON THE LIST.
Special, I’m not against widespread smearing of all races, creeds, ethnicities, political alignments, sexual orientations, etc. But I think it will be more fun to be a little more specific than “any church”. I was going to accept “any 12-step program”, but then I thought, ‘What about a twelve step program to free yourself of the influence of a church?’. Can you suggest maybe a particular program? Also, the Kansas State Board of Education is on the list already to serve notice on those Kansasses. And Gabriel, Rush Limbaugh is already on there, too.
My newest nominees:
Judge Judy, for general condescension and undue nosiness.
The makers of “Trivial Pursuit” for getting so many truly Trivial things wrong
The Ayatollah Khomeini for declaring fatwah against the author of a book he found offensive.
Dan Quayle for, well, everything.
George Dubbya Bush for the following
Somehow, you’ve overlooked Kathee Lee Gifford and Regis Philbin.
Can you just add “Any Televangelist”?
Ranger Jeff
*The Idol of American Youth *
Riders In The Sky