TSDMB Enemies List

Mayor Richard J. Daley:

Mayor Richard M. Daley:

I second that.

Are there ‘Got Milk’ commercials that I haven’t seen, or do you really consider getting a milk mustache being victimized?

Damn, how did I forget Bob Barr. Evilbeth and puffington, have you seen this website devoted to the man?

Juvenile, yes, but absolutely hilarious …

I don’t think he’s been nominated yet, but howzabout Reverend Donald Wildmon?

Now he may not technically still be alive, i.e. his metabolic capacity may have finally matched his intellectual gifts. But in his press heyday, he actively promoted–nay, insisted upon–ignorance.

For the blissfully unaware, The Rev Wildmon agitated forcefully in Texax, and later nationwide, to purge school texts of anything he disapproved of. The list was pretty staggering, including of course evolution, uncomfortable historical truths, and of course any hard sciences that did not acticely support Biblical stances. He protected schoolchildren from evolution, basic human biology, palentology, physics, most of literature, history, comparative religion, logic, and he was squinting suspciously at long division.

So…is he a likely member of The List?

Veb

Whatshisface Knight. The Knight Initiative Guy. Prop. 22. What a big jerk, taking out his inabilities to deal with his gay son on the whole state of California.


~Harborina

“This is my sandbox. I’m not allowed to go in the deep end. That’s where I saw the leprechauns.”

Ahhh, Jack Chick…there’s a name out of the past.

Nobody’s mentiond Steve “Mr. AOHell” Case


This sig not Y2K compliant. Happy 1900.

Yes, he’s been nominated, but maybe we can consider your opinion a second (or third).

Um, I think he’s from Mississippi, not Texas.

And the textbook censors you’re thinking of are Mel and Norma Gabler, from east Texas. Since many school systems base their purchases on what Texas bought, the Gablers held an extremely disproportionate influence over what kids were taught throughtout the country. Now that I think about it, let’s nominate them for the list, too.


“You can observe a lot just by watching.” – Yogi Berra

How about Sens. Orinn Hatch and Thurmond? Both seem to me to be absolute hypocrits who spew forth falsehoods and hatred in the name of Christianity.

And while on that subject, I must also nominate extreme religious fundamentalists who feel it is their civic duty to decide what our children should and should not read.

I hate these people with a passion so deep it would scare you to speak of this topic with me, but if you would like to read about the danger these people are doing, I direct you to the book What Johnny Shouldn’t Read by Joan Delfattore. But I warn you that after reading the book you will be so disgusted with these people you may feel driven to murder.


“I celebrate myself, and sing myself, and what I assume you shall assume, for every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you.” --Whitman

I can’t believe I almost forgot Jerry Springer! Anyone who can dumb down T.V. (dumb down t.v.–what an oxymoron) to the point that he has must be considered a champion of ignorance and its spreading.

I also second Martha Stewart, simply because she makes everyone feel ignorant with her abnormal abilities and talents.


“I celebrate myself, and sing myself, and what I assume you shall assume, for every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you.” --Whitman

Oh, yeah. And let’s not forget Silicon Valley multimillionaire Ron Unz, for trying to build his political career on the backs of immigrant children. I honestly have no words to describe my contempt for that man.

Thanks for the catch, John Rush, and right you are. The Gablers are the ones I was thinking of. The Rev. Wildmon was the mental giant who interpreted Mighty Mouse sniffing a flower as an endorsement of cocaine usage.

And oooooh, yes, Martha Stewart. “Learn something new everyday”, my ass. The wench pirates recipes and ideas and neglects even the most basic research to support them. Her so-tasteful advice on how to whip up a “perfect” backpackers dinner would have poisoned anyone deluded enough to follow it.

Besides, what further footnoting is needed beyond her Wal-World meltdown? People lined up to ignore linens in mold green, cat poop beige and old-sweat taupe.

Thanks, SinSApple, for reminding me of this.

Brooding,
Veb

Uh, SINsApple, I think you meant “redundancy”.


Remember, I’m pulling for you; we’re all in this together.
—Red Green

Oh, thanks for the catch!


“I celebrate myself, and sing myself, and what I assume you shall assume, for every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you.” --Whitman

Are Pat Buchanan and David Duke on this list yet? I’m a conservative Republican, but those guys are just ignornant bigots; they certainly deserve to be on any enemy list.

Lessee, who else can we add?
Jimmy Carter, a well meaning guy, but dumb as a box of rocks.
And I want to add, Carty Finkbeiner, the illustrious may of Toledo, for this stupid idea.


“A bird in the hand is the Devil’s workshop; it is the goose that laid the bad apple.” - TennHippie

David Hasselhoff, for this quote

Suck my fat one, Mr. Hasselhoff


J

“Cast a cold Eye, On Life, On Death, Horseman, ride by”
W.B. Yeats

Well, not that this one should be on everyone’s list (it would be if you met him) but I nominate:

My current CEO. I will probably be fired tomorrow (cross your fingers) because the travel agency used his short name (ie: Bob vs. William - and no this isn’t his name) instead of his full name on the ticket so he can’t get his ticket upgraded to First Class on his Frequent Flyer card. I didn’t catch it and he was consigned to flying <<GASP!>> coach! ::sob:: Poor little dear! And no, I’m not joking about this - he probably will fire me.

Sorry, thread was hijacked!

Here’s a normal nomination:

  1. Slobidon Milosovich - genocidal leader.

We are now at this point:
Art Bell The U.S. Congress
L.Ron Hubbard Lyndon Larouche
The Learning Channel Uri Geller
The Kansas State Board of Education
Derida Whoever dreamed up the “infomercial”
Slim Fast Whoever dreamed up the term “infomercial”
Dionne Warwick and the Psychic Friends Network
The various State Lottery Commissions
Shirley Maclaine The RJ Reynolds Tobacco Company
The Republican Party The FDA (well-intentioned, but overly PACed)
The EPA (same story) The PACs
NPR The Democratic Party
Ed McMahon and Publisher’s Clearinghouse
Jerry Springer Fred Phelps
Jack Chick Marilyn vos Savant (for heresy)
Rush Limbaugh Howard Stern
Donald Wildmon (Wildemon?) Martha Stewart
Al Gore Ann Landers
Abby VanBuren (Dear Abby) Pauly Shore
Dr. Laura Schlesinger, or however you spell it
The CIA The FBI
The DoD Ted Turner
Mike Tyson MTV (Good One!)
Maury Povich Fred Durst
Jerry Falwell Oral Roberts
Louis Farrakhan Paul Harvey
Andrea Dworkin Catherine MacKinnon
Gloria Allred Cliff of Cliff’s Notes
Phyllis Schlafly The NRA
Natalie-fucking-Ross Judge Judy
The Ayatollah Khomeini George Bush
George W. Bush Dan Quayle
Kathie Lee Gifford Regis Philbin
Micheal Hyatt Kent Hovind
David Irving Fred Leuchter
L.A. Rollins Jimmy Swaggart
Jim&Tammy Faye Baker Geraldo Rivera (good call!)
Aaron Spelling Shaquille O’Neill
Bob Barr Richard Daley
Mel&Norma Gabler Pat Buchanan
David Duke David Hasselhof

The following are OTL, but I would still like more info on:
Steve Case
Knight initiative (we’re not all from CA!)
Ron Unz

Let me remind all, this is not just a list of folks we hate, but people we hate (or at least find funny) because of their defiance of the shining principles of our exalted leader, Unca Cece. I give the benefit of the doubt with people I’ve never heard of, but please let us all in on WHY you’re naming the people you are. Stupid quotes are the most fun, but a brief explanation of a specific boneheaded act is also good. Remember not everyone of a different ideology is an idiot, but those who are deserve to be mocked; I’m asking for quotes in order to tell the difference.

Damn it, I tried to make two columns, but it didn’t take. Sorry.

I insist that George W. Bush and Al Gore be taken off the list. Yes, they have both made a few faux pas in their speech, but that’s bound to happen when everything you say is tirelessly recorded by the media. Also note that the media has locked on to Dubya’s parapraxes, and therefore every slip of his tongue that they publish has to be taken with a grain of salt. The same thing happened to Dan Quayle, and so I demand that he too be taken off. Let’s remember, these men are Ivy League educated. They are far from ignorant.

Now, on to who I do believe is ignorant:
-The Klan (geez, how did you miss this one? UncleBeer kind of touched on it with Duke, but you have to classify any member of that organization as ignorant).
-The Neo Nazi Party
-GreenPeace (It really doesn’t get much more ignorant than GP. Really).
-Puff Daddy
-Suge Knight
-Miss America (the institution in general)
-Dr. Laura Schlesinger (spelling?)
-Jesse Jackson
-Al Sharpton
-Donald Trump

More to follow, as I think of them.


The IQ of a group is equal to the IQ of the dumbest member divided by the number of people in the group.