Tsunami caused by mass Chinese sit?

[Trunk]

From The World and Sun Tribune

Geologists now say the tsumani which devastated parts of Asia and caused deaths as far away as Africa might have been caused by the Chinese all sitting down at the same time.

With recent government deregulation of Chinese television, Sunday morning in China saw the debut of a Falun Gong program of worship. Falun Gong is a traditional Chinese spiritual discipline that includes exercise and meditation. Some experts estimate that at least 90% of the Chinese citizenry practice Falun Gong in some capacity.

The exercise portion of the program included a segment which, at one point, encouraged viewers to “drop heavily” to the floor. The timing of the “mass sit” created a rapidly moving shockwave, which “quite possibly contributed to the slippage of the Burma plate”, says Hong Kong based British seismologist Edward Thearon.

He continues, “while the mass sit would not have been strong enough to create a tsunami itself, it appears that it provided enough energy to release the tension which already existed between the Burma and Indian plates.”

“At some point in the future, the tension would have been released naturally creating a similar seismic event. However, at this time we believe the Falun Gong broadcast played a significant role in Sunday morning’s earthquake.”

[RumMunkey]

Thanks, now I know what to expect my Inbox to be full with when I get back to work next week.

This has hoax written all over it. Snopes doesn’t have an article on it (yet).

[Evil_Captor]

@Trunk

From The World and Sun Tribune

Damn, and here I thought the Jews had done it!

No, wait, the Masons!

Wait, it’s obviously all the liberal atheist queers in Asia who pissed God off, not to mention the “atheist lite” religions like Buddhism!

Waitaminit, my confusion over the cause of this event can only be the work of one man … Karl Rove!!!

[MacTech]

but where do the Reverse Vampires fit in all this?

[THespos]

Nah. There’s too many Falun Gong folks sitting outside Penn Station distributing literature. Presumably they sat down at the same time as their oppressed brethren in China. And judging by the number of them shoving pamphlets in my face when I get off the train every morning, my guess is that the force generated by the U.S. contingent would have canceled out that of the Chinese contingent.

[friedo]

Falun Gong is a highly persecuted sect in China. I seriously doubt they would allow a Falun Gong related show on their gummint-controlled television stations.

That and the whole damn thing is thoroughly ridiculous.

[Kythereia]

Am I the only one who finds this obvious joke in really, really poor taste right now?

I mean, come on. The death toll’s reached fifty thousand, and they’re joking about a mass Chinese sit?

[NurseCarmen]

@MacTech

but where do the Reverse Vampires fit in all this?

Or reverse cowgirls?

Note: Googling “reverse cowgirl” probably not work safe.

[Bricker]

If all Chinese jumped at once, would cataclysm result?

The Master speaks.

Snorts in derision, actually.

[5que]

The Master has already spoken on this.

[Q.E.D]

@Kythereia

Am I the only one who finds this obvious joke in really, really poor taste right now?

Nah, it’s just too absurd to be offensive. It’s just not funny, anyway.

[5que]

[shakes fist]
Damn you, Bricker!
[/shakes fist]