With the recent loss of life due to the Tsunami which divested so many people, my wife & I decided we will try to adopt a orphan from this recent tragedy.
Does anyone have any suggestions where to turn to take the shortest route?
The thought of adoption has always turned us off before because of all the scams and schemes that some of these fly by night organizations try to pull.
Our aim is to give an orphaned child a new life and at the same time help ease the suffering of someone.
If anyone knows where to turn or has any suggestions on the process, it would be very much appreciated.
PS–> perhaps this isn’t the right place for this question, but I’ve always had every question answered I’ve ever asked here.
While I am sure your intentions are noble, I am not sure ripping a child from the culture it knows and forcing it to adapt to a new one is the best thing for it at this already trying time.
I agree, but lacking proper support services–and factoring in the scale and scope of devastation–if many of these kids aren’t adopted, they might eventually be at higher risk of the very exploitation government officials are trying to prevent.
A report on the news said that in the majority of cases, some family member(s) of the orphaned children are still alive - aunts, uncles, grandparents, that sort of thing. Apparently requests to adopt are pouring in, and pulling kids out of their situation (in many cases) before even figuring out where other family members are isn’t the best thing in the long run.
I heard similar things mentioned on the Canadian news, and it was also mentioned that it could take up to two years to complete the adoption. Sri Lanka is apparently considering what rules to enforce for adopting kids out of Sri Lanka and may require that adoptive parents be of Sri Lankan descent (sorry - no cite, I heard it on TV). No idea if the other affected countries are doing anything simular.
I think adoption of orphaned or otherwise homeless children is one of the finest things anyone can do.
But given the point made here about lifting a child from the social matrix it’s been raised in, and the combination of the fragile and sometimes poor local economies with the catastrophic effect on them of the tsunami, it might be worthwhile for those who can do so to investigate what programs along the lines of “Save the Children” are most effective at getting help where it’s needed, and giving as heavily as possible to such programs. Dollars to donuts there are a number of couples who survived the tsunami but with their livelihood gone, and who would make excellent nurturing foster parents to the orphaned children if they had the income to do so. That’s where American and European money can make a difference.
If you really want to adopt a child from somewhere else in the world that cannot support them, try China. I am sure you have heard of the large number of young children, particularly girls, that are without homes there. I have an ex-girlfriend who has worked with orphanages there and has adopted herself. Also, many of the children are young enough, perhaps even infants, that the environmental change will be easier for them to deal with.
A lot of what you say gibes with my remarks above, but let me add this: Save the Children and Care are fine organizations with heroic missions, but the lifestyle they provide their charges pales next to what families in other countries could provide. Save the Children may feed and clothe and shelter them, but what happens to the poor teeming millions when they come of age and find no work, no future?
I’m not talking about westerners providing video games and community shopping malls. I’m talking about loving, nourishing homes where food is nutritious, education and medicine top notch, and they have a future. Removing a child from his/her “social matrix” certainly is far from ideal, but I’m left wondering what future have these kids when they get older and the support from Save the Children dries up?
As a result of the Korean war, its also against international law. Hague Treaty is the most current treaty covering international adoption.
During crisis (natural disaster, war) international adoption is halted. It takes a while for the infrastructure to settle in. During the Korean war, children were placed for adoption in the US when there were relatives in Korea would could have and would have taken those children if time had been taken to provide a match. This was a tragedy for many families.
After some time has passed, adoptions from countries where we have adoption relationships (and we don’t with all countries, many don’t allow their children to leave the country) will open up.
As Indonesia is heavily Muslim, its unlikely there are many adoptions there anyway. Islamic law is somewhat touchy on the subject and not many adoptions happen from Muslim countries. There are exceptions.
This very subject was being discussed on NPR last night. All of the responses in this thread were discussed with the eventual conclusion being that it is too soon to even think about adopting children from the affected countries, and that it will be very difficult, even after significant time has elapsed.
I also heard that many of the children orphaned have already been taken in by neighbours and relatives, as is this cultures way in such instances.
The report I saw, said it wasn’t likely a great idea to take a child who has already suffered such a trauma and subject them to a whole new culture and language which is all foreign to them. They’ve lost their parents, siblings and homes in many cases. To wrench them now from the only culture and homeland they are familiar with would border on cruelty, in my opinion.
You need to see just how different from your own, their culture is, to understand.
If you really want to adopt a child, there are plenty of them available right here in the US (if that is where you are located). Most orphans have had a pretty traumatic life and many problems that could be solved if they are adopted into loving homes.
I will second the recommendation for a Chinese adoption. Check out CCAI. No “fly by night” operation, they have been in business for 10 years and have handled over 4,000 adoptions. We are in the process of our 3rd adoption with them.
No offence, but if your motives are not “to have a child we can love the crud out of” you might be making a mistake. Do you have any other kids? Are you sure you want the little buggers running around your house messing things up every day? We now have 7 (when we married, I had 1 and NoCoolSpouseName had 3) of whom 3 are adopted–the most recent one is still in China and we hope to be traveling to bring her home within a month or so.
So if your motive is to give someone a new life and ease some suffering, you might be better off contributing to organizations that help those who need it.
Let’s not to romanticize the extended family construct. I’ve lived and traveled extensively throughout SE Asia and the poverty runs from abject to miserable. Education, shelter, medical care, etc. in the outlying areas are shocking and are the polar opposite of the idyllic tropical isle notion some westerners embrace. While the image of Uncle Mohamed lovingly taking his parentless nephew under his wing is certainly heartwarming, the societal backdrop–especially the backdrop after a horrific natural disaster–is anything but. That said, the thought of yanking the kid from NW Sumatra and plopping him down in suburban USA gives me the willies. Nothing idyllic here on our side of the rim.
I also have spent many years travelling extensively through south east Asia, I am not speaking out of my ass here. (Thailand, Malaysia, Singapore, Indonesia, 6 mnths, 8mnths, 10mnths, 6 mnths)
I do not have any illusions of ‘tropical paradises’ and I understand that there is grinding poverty. The west seems to believe that material poverty is the worst thing that can happen to anyone. I would disagree. Being robbed of your own culture, a culture who’s warm embrace you have always felt, in the name of material wealth would be one of them.
But this is the community (back drop, your word) with which these children are familiar, and that which is familiar is comforting, especially in times of trauma.
How do you think Americans would have reacted if the Cubans had showed up after 911, arrogantly saying, “give us your orphans we can offer them a better life”?
The whole idea just creeps me out. It bespeaks an arrogance that western culture has greater value than any other. And that material wealth is the cure for everything.
I am 100% in favour of a ban that would stop these children being removed from their own countries.
Will some be end up being exploited? Certainly. Will some end up going hungry, very likely. Will some just disappear, without a doubt. All of this goes on everyday in the streets of North America. Better look around before judging I’d say.
Thanks for the condescension though, that’s always refreshing!
And thanks for the narrowmindedness. Speaking as an American Doper with not one but two South Korean adopted children, you’ve just delivered one heck of a smack in the face. Boy, talk about your condescension. Glass House, your rock pile delivery is here…
I happen to be 100% in favor of children never growing up in neglectful mass housing without a family structure, but heck, that’s just me. :rolleyes:
Dangerosa you are in point of fact exactly wrong. The Hague Treaty does not in any manner supercede a sovereign nations’ right to control the flow outward of citizens- minors or adults. Law and policy is set by South Korea. Any agency in the United States must abide by the severely strict requirements of the South Korean government, when trying to place orphaned South Korean children with American couples.
I know. I have gone through the entire process. Not once, but twice. Trust me when I say that I was involved with approval with our local US Agency, with the F.B.I, the United States INS, the South Korean government in Seoul and the adoption agency located in Seoul.
In the case of the Korean War, a ceasefire was declared and the war was considered “over” at a certain point. Many modern conflicts do not have such neat endings, and saying that adoptions are stopped during a wartime is a fuzzy statement at best. People adopt children from countries still actively involved in war and war-like activities.
Cartooniverse, proud father of Cho Sung-Hee and Jang Dong-Huhn.
It’s not narrowmindness, it’s my opinion. And it’s an informed opinion.
And it is not, an attack on your adoptions, dial it back a bit there would you.
You did not take your children immediately following the traumatic loss of their entire families and the only life they have ever known. Your children were adopted from orphanages, can you see the difference? Were they ripped from their parents arms by a giant wave, less than 2 wks ago? Thought not. Kind of apples and oranges, don’t you think?
I didn’t mean they should never be allowed to adopt only that now is not an appropriate time for it.
I understand why you are so sensitive about this but surely you can understand we’re not talking about your circumstances. I’m certain that your children have a better life, materially, but how do you put a value on feeling you belong? Do you really know what it feels like to be a visible minority? Can you say with certainty they won’t feel torn between two cultures? I’m certain you are very culturally sensitive and aware and intend to help them with whatever challenges they may face. But you can’t know, as can’t I, what the cost to them will be culturally, or how they might feel about it.
The main point is really that Korea was a willing partner in your adoptions, Indonesia and other Asian nations have the right to feel otherwise. And as long as they do we have to respect that.
Think for a moment about the outpouring of offers to help from all over the world. Is it really so hard to understand or imagine that the citizens of these countries feel the same way, or more so? Wouldn’t they be in a position to be better able to provide for these children, materialism aside?
We now have 7 (when we married, I had 1 and NoCoolSpouseName had 3) of whom 3 are adopted–the most recent one is still in China and we hope to be traveling to bring her home within a month or so.