Much better than Stripping with Tubers:
http://apnews.myway.com/article/20060728/D8J4VPL80.html
My favorite line:
Remember, don’t try this at home. These are trained professionals. Who apparently can’t help taking off their clothes, just any old time.
My favorite line:
Look, idiots. If you want to ban Jell-O shots, for whatever anal retentive reason, just go ahead and ban Jell-O shots. Quit screwing around with this “five ounces or less” crap, because that’s just going to lead to eight ounce Jell-O shots, and that way lies madness.
I’d also like to suggest that if you want to go to church on Sunday you just go right on to church, close the door tightly, and try very hard not to think about all those people having a little fun on the river.
Well, you know how hard it is for trained professionals not to practice their trades. If you give a bricklayer a brick, you can bet that (whether he’s on duty or not) he’ll lay it. Just imagine how hard it is on these poor strippers who always have clothes available to take off and yet are forbidden to do so by these prudish officials.
Quite the contrary. They only take their clothes off when they get paid for it. Whereas I take mine for just for the hell of it.
Wow, there is a great joke in there somewhere… Maybe the words “strippers” and “lay it” shouldn’t go in the same post… lol. 
mine off
Huh, I had a feeling I knew where this was before I opened the link. That river’s already pretty raunchy. You can bring beer and on a big weekend, it’s wall-to-wall tubes with drunk good 'ol boys (and the occasional puker) and girls in really skimpy bikinis on these very large inflatable rafts complete with a loud booming sound system. I don’t think a party of strippers is gonna be any different from who’s usually there…
Man - and I scheduled my flight down to SA in two weeks for late Sunday eve!
May have to rethink things…
That’s what I was thinking… you’ll usually see something like 12 titties on your average New Braunfels tubing trip.
That said, I’m a little curious as to whether the rivers are even high enough to safely tube on this year. There’s been precious little rain, and last year, the rivers were low enough to where my group got:
[ul]
[li]many bad bruises[/li][li]broken ankle[/li][li]hit on head and damn near drowned[/li][/ul]
No matter how many strippers you throw at it, it’ll still suck if you’re getting your ass kicked by the river bottom rocks.
I wonder if Mr. Valentine’s real disappointment is that HE has to be in church instead of on the raft with the strippers. I know I’m disappointed, and it has nothing to do with church – I just couldn’t get to San Antonio in time!
Two words: salt shakers.
I’m wondering if Valentine is under the impression that there’s some city ordinance that people are supposed to be in Church on Sunday and, if so, how do the Jewish people in town feel about that? :dubious: Or, would he be okay with it if these people hired Jewish strippers?
This is not meant as an ad and mods feel free to remove if it a problem… but the location reminds me of one of my fav places on the internet. 
Training strippers can be fun. They take off an article of clothing. You reward them with a treat. They spin around on the pole. You pet them and praise their performance. It’s really a win-win situation.
I don’t wonder at all. I know that’s exactly his problem. This is sour grapes all the way. He’s still a little kid who’s looking out the window at other kids playing kickball while he’s stuck in a stuffy classroom studying his Latin.
I don’t get bothered by churchgoing people, and in fact I get quite irate on their behalf when I see smug dismissive crap (like the ubiquitous and retarded “magical sky pixie” bullshit I see flung around here a lot). Most religious people I’ve met are polite, well grounded, rational, effective people. Heck, there’s a poster from Georgia here that I respect a lot. I’ll even call him a friend. He’s really cool, and I’d like to meet him in person someday. He’s also gay, and very active in his church, which ought to refute a lot of the simpleminded anti-religion yammering that goes on around here. It also ought to refute a lot of the anti-gay yammering that comes out of the religious extremist types.
What I object to is the attitude of people like Mr. Valentine, who think that what they do and think is what everybody should do and think. And that includes the fools who think that typing “magical sky pixie” is clever.
I’ve made my peace with the universe. You go ahead and figure it out for yourself. Just don’t bother telling me about it.
To be fair tho’, the river they’re talking about has gotten to be a problem. On the weekends, there’s lots of rowdiness, shenanigans, drunken brawling, pissing on people’s yards, etc. I’d think twice about taking kids to that particular tubing spot. It’s great being able to tube and drink a cold one but the assholes are ruining it for the rest of us.
Maybe it’s time to break out the best weapon you can use in a situation like that: the public shaming. Take pictures of the doofuses being doofusy, and post 'em on phonepoles around town or something.
Wait, don’t do that. That would be vandalism or littering or something.
Meh. I was all uninformed and popped off without understanding the whole story. I have no excuse.
Oh, and I suppose you’d want people taking off their clothes WITHOUT A LICENCE? :dubious:
Is there another river around there you could go tubing on? I love rafting (and drinking), but frankly, the scene as described sounds like the eighth circle of Hell to me.
So, the ordinance with the 5 ounces of liquid. Is Jello even considered a liquid? And wouldn’t this also ban regular liquor shots? Cause bars around here run 1-3 ounces per shot.