Tucker Carlson, Home wrecker!

It was the Bromance for the Ages. Bedtime calls, smoothies and smooches, the gentle reassurance of the reach-around. Has Sean Hannity’s noble Irish face been etched by the Hand of Time, the worry lines deepened, the once buoyant flesh gradually losing the struggle with gravity? Well, yes, of course, it was ever thus. But still, such couples often slide gracefully into the embrace of age with dignity and enduring affection. And it is true that The Leader often succumbed to the temptations that lie in the path of men like him, men of overpowering personal magnetism.

But didn’t Sean do his very best to maintain the warmth of the relationship? A bit of cosmetic work, here and there, to tighten a wrinkle, to firm up the sagging jowl? Couldn’t the bonds of affection and respect have aged like a fine wheel of American cheese, to ripe perfection? Of course!

But then along comes that little bitch Tucker Carlson! In like a fecking ball! Was his sycophantic suckitude somehow an improvement over the pursed lips of Sean, chapped with years of effort? His trim and athletic youth more worthy than the looming paunch and sagging bottom of Sean Hannity? Why is he to be tossed aside like a pair of Goodwill Guccis? Sure, a blubbered walrus like John Bolton can be moved out of the way, sent off to visit the ancestral home of the clusterfuck.

But Sean? Loyal, long-suffering Sean, who has served through thick and thicker? Is the sweet bird of youth more worthy than the mature song of the aging nightingale? So it would seem. Alas, so it would seem.

Tucker Carlson is also old.

I generally just can’t stand Hannity, but this sort of makes me feel bad for the guy:

Uh, OK then.

I assume that there is some story that this relates to that someone could link to, or else Luci has had one too many absinthe and bong water cocktails.

But he has the anus of a 27-and-a-half-year-old.

This thread is insane! It features a link that is supposed to make me feel bad for Sean Hannity.

When organ donation goes too far.

Didn’t work, did it. Fuck that guy with a rusty chainsaw.

I did say “almost”. Actually I mostly chuckled, I imagined Sean sitting in a race car-shaped bed, wearing footie PJs with little American flags all over it, sending texts and hoping Paul would reply.

I was hoping that it was Trump and Hannity, but I’ll take my despair where I can get it.

Honest to God, until this thread I thought they were the same person.

I don’t watch Fox News.

Hannity was the person most associated with overt Trumpism at first - Trump had his phone #, DJT appeared often on his show, etc.

However, since Cohen’s “Client #3” was revealed to be Hannity, DJT has been backing off a bit from that bromance, and is now openly courting Tucker Carlson, who went with the Trumpets on their N Korea visit replacing John Bolton.

Other than that, I got nothing.

Count me among those glad 'luci took the trouble.

Demonstrates there’s always a younger, stronger sycophant. Hardball is for keeps. And once you’re gone, you can never come back.

Keeps it in a jar on his desk.

And Bolton was left cooling his heels in Mongolia. Fucking Mongolia! You can’t write shit like this and I can’t stop laughing!

Only thing better would have been Siberia.

I’m not really familiar with either of them. But my impression is that Tucker Carlson is, and I admit this is a low bar, a better person than Hannity. Carlson seems, certainly, nicer.

Yes, I know that Carlson is a white supremacist who publishes fake news stories. He may be even less ethical than Hannity, and a bigger fraud. But Hannity’s stock in trade is self-righteous meanness, and that’s not a good look.

It’s like you’re debating which of two sumo wrestlers is more anorexic. :slight_smile:

And Carlson’s is disingenuously befuddled privileged confusion about what all the snowflakes are triggered about.

It’s like arguing whose smallpox pustules are more disgusting.

Both are utterly mercenary unprincipled frauds, cashing in on fascists being so hot right now. I’d say the only difference between them is the target audience, with Carlson being the edgy memelord speaking to 30somethings while Hannity talks to the old women shaking their fists at the clouds. Both warrant a forced march to the guillotine, and both would get a dedicated civil servant punching them in the mouth if it looked like they were about to speak in my government. Vote for me. That’s literally my entire platform, and it’s still better than both US parties.