Turkish Soap Opera: A Report

Having already explored the world of Turkish dubs of Charmed and the '90s Spider-Man cartoon, I sat down today to view my first Turkish-language soap opera, Beyaz something.

First of all, everyone’s weepy. I can’t really follow the plot, my Turkish isn’t that strong yet, but the show starts off weepy and stays that way. Everyone has glistening, liquid eyes, complete with runny noses. Also, every male actor under 35 is wearing a pink shirt and an emo haircut. Never let it be said Turkish masculinity wilts under either tears or the color pink!

A basic rundown of the goings-on:

A weepy woman on the phone.
A couple making out on the couch.
A weepy woman pleading with her Babi, or father, in his hospital bed.
A weepy man staring meaningfully out the window.
Two young men being weepy with their father. Lots of hugging and weepiness.
A couple talking at a cafe. Streams of tears on her face.
A wife dressing her husband for a day at the office.
An old woman leaping from a boat into the ocean.

The End!

So the old woman just couldn’t take all that weeping anymore?

No evil twins? No switched paternity tests? I bet they don’t even have the decency to send young teenagers off to boarding school and then bring the character back two years later as a full-grown adult.

No, paternity tests and hot 'n heavy teens is a bit raunchy for Turkish soaps. Here, young lovers gaze at one another over cups of çay (tea), eyes glistening, lower lips trembling, while the music swells in the background. Turks are dramatic anyway, you’d think the soap opera actors were starring in a production of King Lear by the Royal Shakespeare Company the way they’re acting it all to pieces.