Remember the “Commercial Dialog Chain” thread in MPSIMS? This time, let’s make a funny chain of snippets of hypothetical news dialog from TV and radio, preferably relating to contemporary news topics.
“Due to increased unrest in the West Bank area of Jerusalem, England, Russia, and Germany announced today that they would be sending peacekeeping forces to…”
… to distribute Valium to distressed Palestinians who, upon seeing that their homes were being bombed…
…by Howard Stern’s most dismal TV performance. The irritated viewers resolved to seek assistance from…
… Jack Benny, who they felt would be a truly fine budget analyst for their new project, …
…making gold from seaweed. The inventor who devised this scheme has been evaluated by a team of eminent psychiatrists who have affirmed that…
He is really Alex Chiu and that the police have been notifed to shoot on sight. Meanwhile in other news…
Sixteen members of the 2000 U. S. Olympic Team announced Tuesday that…
… due to the rigors of this year’s competition, they plan to shave their heads and paint themselves green. Psychologists have described this phenomena as…
Post-punk culture, honoring Cyndi Lauper’s contribution to America. Also today, Ms. Lauper…
… released a new album, entitled She’s Boringly Normal, in which she sings about the woes of …
…Bill Gates’ Board of Directors. The board overwhelmingly voted today to require that from now on, Microsoft would…
…simply appoint a president rather than risk letting the citizens of Florida …
…muddle yet another clear victory for Ralph Nader. On a side note, protestors in …
…New York University campaigned against tuna-salad sandwiches in the cafeteria, because of the danger to dolphins posed by the tuna nets. In an odd alliance, Jesse Jackson and Rush Limbaugh countered this assertion, insisting that…
…most of the customers preferred ham and cheese, roast beef, or chicken-salad sandwiches and tuna was rarely, if ever, ordered.
The U. S. Supreme Court, meanwhile, issued a ruling that would allow both Gore and Bush to…
…dance topless in the downtown district, as long as pasties were worn to cover the nipples. This is a very divisive decision, in the past…
they would have been taken to the local town green and beaten with a stick. However, the green no longer exists because…
…The “Honeywind” has blown, and autumn has turned all of the green into brown. This left people to wonder if Mr. Bush and Mr. Gore weren’t just incontinent. But thanks to June Allyson, …
…it is confidently asserted that fuel-cell automobiles will have a 20-percent market share by 2010. In other news, Nokia reported that it now accounts for 70 percent of Finland’s total…
… brain tumors, due to harmful radiation that their phones emit. Spokesmen for Nokia said that, while they are pleased with the progress so far, they will not be content until…