If you’re not reading @ElBloombito, you’re not living. https://twitter.com/ElBloombito Parody of Michael Bloomberg, who has crawled under my skin since forever.
And @EveryGentrifier Self explanatory and absolutely priceless, I was gasping for air. It’s run by the same lady who does ElBloombito https://twitter.com/EveryGentrifier
“I only drink craft beer brewed in towns with predominantly white populations of less than 1,000 people”
Moved Cafe Society --> IMHO.
bump
“Tengo 50k followados! Gracias! Tengo mas followadoros than @nygovcuomo!”
I’m in love with Sarcastic Rover:
@ActuallyNPH (Neil Patrick Harris) is one of my favorites
Notable mentions: @alyankovic (Wierd Al) and @donttrythis (Adam Savage).
Wait, is this about favorite Twitter feeds or favorite Twitter handles? Because most of those handles, while their content is cool, aren’t that interesting.
Whoops, I meant feeds.
The Iron Sheik can be pretty hilarious.
Yesterday: “Apple Maps is showing that Hurricane Sandy is heading right for Australia. Krikey!”
Horse ebooks is my favorite. It’s a spam bot that posts out of context excerpts from random books. It’s wonderfully surreal.
I signed up for Twitter just so I could help bring Ke$ha up to 3 million followers (something she achieved on her birthday this year). I follow one acquaintance on Twitter because he asked me to, but I don’t bother ever reading his tweets.
Fixed.
Honest Toddler is my favorite.
“Have you ever wanted to tell someone how much they mean to you and then realized that cake doesn’t have ears?”
Kim Dotcom
@KimDotcom
It’s very interesting to see who will win: Him or the combined forces of Hollywood and the US Government. My money’s on him.
Michael Ian Black
@michaelianblack
Very funny. Left wing.
“Somebody please alert Connecticut authorities to get my power restored ASAP so I can begin the important work of healing with laughter.”
Jay Severin
@Jay_Severin
Very funny. Right wing.
The Drudge Report
@DRUDGE_REPORT
Obviously.
Goldman Sachs Elevator Gossip
@GSElevator
Probably my all time favorite. Every post is absolutely hilarious.
“#1: A guy came up to me at the gym and asked me what event I was training so hard for. Life, motherfucker.”
“#1: Most people don’t understand that God cast them as extras in this movie.”
“#1: The best thing about being a pathological liar is having a ginormous cock.”
“#1: Hey, do you have change for a $20? #2: $20’s are change, bro.”
Paul Bissonnette, aka @BizNasty2point0" from the Phoenix Coyotes.
Condescending Wonka
[ul]
[li]Oh, I tried to grab fog, but I mist.[/li][li]Raisin cookies that look like chocolate chip cookies are the main reason I have trust issues[/li][/ul]
Single Mom Survives
[ul]
[li]I don’t love my neighbor because he snow blows my driveway for me, but because he yells “fuck you, you shit” at the snow as he does it.[/li][li]Why haven’t all the people that use 4 square been stalked and thrown in a trunk yet? Someone is slacking. Get on that.[/li][/ul]
Florida Man
[ul]
[li]Florida Man Claims He Shot At Walmart Shoplifter’s Car So Cops Could Find It Later http://t.co/QSIWmd1kXH[/li][li]Florida Man Gave Teller Full Name While Robbing Bank | http://bit.ly/YPMA9q[/li][li]Florida Man Attempting Home Invasion Scared Off By Windex, Calls 911 To Claim Crowbar He Left At Scene Was Stolen bit.ly/WkGuji[/li][/ul]