Two guys from Texas plan to conquer and enslave their own sex island

Wrong, you Hard-Left socialist communist MALCONTENT! These nefarious criminals were actually trying to learn the language of the shithole-country foreigners that they planned to subjugate, a WOKE act of cultural DEI that Our Leader would NEVER have countenanced!!1!

No, seriously:

The phrase “perseverance worthy of a better cause” has never been more apt.