Gavin Rivers Weisenburg, 21, of Allen, and Tanner Christopher Thomas, 20, of Argyle, have been indicted by a grand jury on counts of conspiracy to murder, maim, or kidnap in a foreign country and production of child pornography.
The charges were given for the pair’s extensive plans to travel to Gonâve Island, which is part of the Republic of Haiti, to attempt a coup d’état, the documents say.
Weisenburg and Thomas prepared from August 2024 to July 2025 to execute their plans, in which they allegedly intended to buy a boat, sail to Gonâve Island, kill every man on the island, overtake it by force, and take the women and children as sex slaves.
Gonâve Island has a population of about 87,000.
Always let your reach exceed your grasp, my dudes!
And even if they somehow succeeded and killed all the men, being stuck on an island with 40k enraged Haitian women doesn’t seem like the best workplace environment to start a commercial empire from…
But now we have to clear out two cabinet positions to make room for these pedophiles. Chris Wright is surprisingly not as horrible as most of the cabinet, so he’s probably gone. I think Tulsi might have overstayed her welcome as well.
It reminds one of Victoriano Álvarez and his (mis)adventures on Clipperton Island, where he apparently arranged for a boat accident that killed the other men on the island before effectively enslaving the women.
It didn’t work out well for him. One of his favorite victims killed him, and the women were rescued by a US Navy ship shortly after.
USMC Sergeant Faustin E. Wirkus (a name like those invented by W. C. Fields to open hidden bank accounts) did manage to have himself installed as King of a Haitian island, but did so by being a good guy, instead of mass murder or by being thought a god because he displayed a Zippo lighter. And, unlike the White Rajas of Sarawak, didn’t build a dynasty: he just left when his transfer papers came through.
It’s quite straightforward. They just show that they are at a higher level in the Freemasons or whatever, and get automatic deference. As in ‘The man who would be king’.
These two thought they were Lucius Vorenus and Titus Pullo from HBO’s Rome. Wash ashore in Greece, and immediately enslave everyone they meet, because Romans are Just That Awesome.
A few decades in a Texas prison is getting off pretty lightly compared to what would have happened to them if they’d actually travelled to Haiti to try and pull this off. Haiti may not have a particularly functional government right now, but I’m sure the population of Gonâve would be more than capable of making sure these two arseholes met the unpleasant end they deserve.
Hell they’d have been better off trying it some peaceful stable nation. It would probably not have been the first time that week some asshole rocked up in Gonâve trying to kill and rape, and needed bits of their anatomy chopped off to persuade them them that’s a bad idea.
I’ve read the article and still want to understand how they felt this would work. Did they think the remaining 40,000+ women on the island would think it was just pure coincidence that all the local men were dead and now only two white men remained? How exactly did they plan to kill the men; use sniper-type shootings? Why not pick an island with fewer people? Did they think Haitian authorities or external powers would never send anyone to the island to check things out or intervene? I have never read of a crime that was more dumbass and had more unanswered questions.
you’re right!
