Two lights

Is anyone here aware of the two lights that God has presented to mankind?

Green means “GO” and red means “STOP”?

Which one is the light that never goes out?

Are you talking about the sun and moon? Yeah, I’ve heard of them.

“There are four lights.”

Yeah, biblically it’s the Sun and Moon, the greater to rule the day and the lesser to rule the night. Not sure why anyone should care, though.

I think those are the headlights of the car that’s about to whack you. That’s why your mother told you not to play in the road.

I got the lights, but they clashed with the drapes, so I donated them to Goodwill.

Lights is damned talented, but I didn’t realize there were two of her.

Also, I suppose I’ve had more than two lights in haggis. A plucky little dish.

Marlboro lights and a lighter?

I presume the O.P. has something more esoteric in mind, but it’s going to be pretty hilarious if this person ever comes back and is in fact just talking about the Sun and the Moon.

I mean, I always find those evangelistic tracts where some monumentally clueless inhabitant of a 21st Century industrialized democracy winds up slapping himself on the forehead and saying “Wait–you mean Jesus died for my sins?!? Why was I not told of this before now!!!” to be quite ridiculous, but this would be a new low. “Wait–there is both a Sun and a Moon?!? Truly, this is irrefutable evidence of a Benevolent Creator!”

This could be the start of a whole new product line for the Chick people: Very Special Chick Tracts.

“Wait–God made them male and female?!? You–you’re saying Susie is shaped differently…Down There?!? Is that why looking at Susie always makes me feel funny…Down There?

Well, without the Sun, we’d all die! And the Moon is very pretty, and there’s tides, and it gives us a place to go.

And one light to rule them all, and in the darkness bind them!

Yeah, I’ve got a bunch around the house. I think you can get a 40-pack at Pier 1 for pretty cheap, but the problem is they don’t last very long and blow out pretty quickly.
…Oh wait…those are** tea **lights…nevermind!

Bud and Miller?

Well, to paraphrase the Ghostbusters Dr Ray Stantz, ‘I recall a Genesis 1:16, And God made two great lights; the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night: he made the stars also. (King James Bible) Every ancient religion has it’s own myths about the beginning of the world.’ Winston Zeddemore, ‘Myth? Ray, has it ever occurred to you that maybe the reason we’ve get blinded when we look up in the sky during the day is because of that sun thingy up there?? And that those tide things that you love to surf on may just be related to that moon thing going around the freaking planet???’
Are you wanting to debate what the two lights were (seems obvious with the stars reference, as others have mentioned, that they are talking about the sun and the moon)? Or did you have something else you wanted to talk about on this subject? Or are you just witnessing and want to bring us all the happy news?

I know there’s a light over at the Frankenstein place, and there’s a liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight burning in the fireplace. Are these the ones you’re talking about?

No, we are talking about the lightsssesss which hurtsessss our eyesesssss, precioussssssss. The yellow face and the white face, oh yes, precioussssss…we wants it, yessssss we wants it! Er, no, we wantsssss to hide from it, preciousssss, yesssss, hide…
Or something. I’m not sure, I got distracted there, sorry.

Yeah, I got a light. Your butt and my face!

No, wait, I meant match. And it’s my butt, and your…

You know what? Never mind.

Nope.