Two martini limit

[silenus]

I usually have a very high tolerance for alcohol. But some friends gave us a cocktail set for Christmas, and the wife and I have started to do martinis on the weekends. Wonderful things, martinis. Dry and ginny and I really like olives…

OK. One really shouldn’t post while hammered, but I rarely do, and the 2nd martini has kicked in, and right now, I love everybody, even Lib and Manhattan and Reeder, and Dio. If this looks even remotely readable, so be it. I love my fellow Dopers. You people are the ones that get me through the night. Smart, hip, dipsticks. I love you guys.

OK. Mods, feel free to delete this drunken ramble. But… i love you guys too!

[Eleusis]

Yeah.

My wife has a set of rather large martini glasses, that I tested for volume. They hold 5 1/2 shots each!

Two martinis = 11 shots. No vermouth either.

Without demanding as much, I try to steer her toward a ONE martini limit.

[Rhubarb]

Sold Cober

Strackle, Starkle little twink,
Who the deuce you are, I think.
I’m not under what they call,
The affluence of inchohol.
I’m not drunk as thinkle peep,
I’m just a little slort of sheep.
Tee martoonis can make a guy
Fool so feelish. Dunno why.
~anonymous

[TellMeI_mNotCrazy]

@Rhubarb

Sold Cober

Strackle, Starkle little twink,
Who the deuce you are, I think.
I’m not under what they call,
The affluence of inchohol.
I’m not drunk as thinkle peep,
I’m just a little slort of sheep.
Tee martoonis can make a guy
Fool so feelish. Dunno why.
~anonymous

Oh that was excellent… Fool so feelish. I think I’m gonna use that line in my next meeting.

[silenus]

The wife just gave me aspirin and Pelligrino, so I must amend the previous…she gets me through the night. You guys just get me through…

I’m in trouble now. Have to make amends to the love of my life…

[jackelope]

Martinis are like breasts on a woman:
One is not enough, and three is too many.

• Chairman Mao

[Garfield226]

The piano has been drinking, my necktie is asleep
And the combo went back to new york, the jukebox has to take a leak
And the carpet needs a haircut, and the spotlight looks like a prison break
And the telephone’s out of cigarettes, and the balcony is on the make
And the piano has been drinking, the piano has been drinking…

– Tom Waits

[Baker]

@Rhubarb

Sold Cober

Strackle, Starkle little twink,
Who the deuce you are, I think.
I’m not under what they call,
The affluence of inchohol.
I’m not drunk as thinkle peep,
I’m just a little slort of sheep.
Tee martoonis can make a guy
Fool so feelish. Dunno why.
~anonymous

There’s two more lines to that ditty, the way I learned it.

So pass the mixer and kill my fup,
I’ve got all sober to Sunday up.