Two mini-rants: Well done steak and the (U.S.) National Anthem

The BBQ Pit
1

My LJ friends have heard me complain about this first one, but I’ll do it again here because it just happened to me again, and also I’m hoping there will be some chefs/cooks here who might be able to explain it to me:

I like my steaks well done. I realize how gauche this makes me, but I can live with it. OK, I’m a big pussy. I don’t like having to think about bloody meat any more than I have to while I’m eating it. So I’m in denial. Fine. And yes, I might as well order a hamburger, because I’m cooking all the flavor out of it. Hey, tell me about it. But guess what? I actually like it that way, hard as it may be for you to believe. So why is it EVERY time I order a well done steak in a restaurant it comes back to me medium? WTF? The only explanation I can come up with is that the chef and/or waiter assume I’m an uncouth hick who doesn’t really know what he wants. Even though I tell the waiter “Extra well done” or “Butterfly it”. I’d think this would be enough to clue them in that I had some idea what I was talking about. Thus, I’m forced to conclude that the constant serving of medium steaks is their attempt to save me from myself. It pisses me off not just because it’s condescending, but also because it means I have to send it back to the kitchen (sometimes twice) and wait for it while everybody around me digs in. I suppose I can understand that you feel I’m ruining your beautiful culinary creation by asking for it brown instead of pink, but you know what? I’M THE FUCKING CUSTOMER WHO’S PAYING FOR IT, so give me what I frigging ask for! Why must this be such an ordeal? Like I said, I enjoy the taste of well done steak, but I’m probably going to have to give up ordering it in public because it’s too much fucking hassle. And I resent being made to feel like I’m the asshole for having a particular food preference - it’s not like there’s no precedent for ordering well done steaks; otherwise that particular form of preparation would never have been an option. Why must life be such a struggle?

Mini-rant deux:

I realize this is a hot-button issue for some people (such as, apparently, every single person around me when it happens), but I don’t sing the National Anthem when it is played in public. Which might not be so bad, I guess, but I also don’t stand for it. You know why? Because I don’t believe in that shitty song, nor do I respect it (what is there to believe in or respect, anyway? It’s basically singing the praises of a flag - which, yeah, I know, is by extension singing the praises of our country; too bad it’s in the most knee-jerk, mindless wording possible) - especially the later verses, the ones that nobody sings, about the “Heaven-bless’d land” and how our motto is “In God is our trust”. But I don’t mean to make it sound as if my objections are strictly on religious grounds. I don’t like anything about the song, from the melody to the jingoistic (hard to avoid in a National Anthem, I realize) “We’re Number One!” lyrics. Believe it or not, I actually do like America and the principles it was founded on; what I don’t like is the lame obsequiousness of singing (and standing up for) empty patriotic jargon, or the mob mentality that causes perfect strangers around me to feel it’s their duty to force me to rise to my feet (“Get up! It’s the National Anthem!”). I find it odd that so many people seem to have such reverence for symbols and gestures; I wonder if I told them I’m a veteran (I am) it would make any difference? Surely that should count for more than giving lip service to my country. I had the same problem in school, when I refused to stand for the pledge of allegiance - and in those cases, I got shit from friends. I don’t pledge my allegiance to my flag, or to my country, either - not really; I pledge it to my ideals, and if my country should violate those ideals, I’ll look around for a new one. Anyway, isn’t my freedom to speak (or not) part of what makes this country so great in these people’s minds? Then again, if all they know about America comes from the lyrics of the Star Spangled Banner, maybe they aren’t that up on the Bill of Rights in the first place.

Besides my own philosophical beliefs, as I said, I just think the song sucks the corn out of my shit, aesthetically. I’d no more stand for it than I would a Dave Matthews song.

Now, if they changed the National Anthem to “Rock Lobster” I’d probably stand and sing, because I think it’s catchy and it fits my worldview fairly well.

2

Well… I am an Air Force cook. I will see if I can try to comment on both issues.

As far as the first issue goes, I think you may have already figured out why you are getting medium or medium well steaks. I am guessing that these chefs are just trying to give you what they THINK (I know it seems moronic) you want instead of what you said you wanted. I will try to put it into perspective for you. When I am cooking eggs on the grill for customers and they ask me for an egg half of the time they have no idea what they are ordering. You don’t know how many times I have cooked an over easy egg only to find out that the customer wanted it over medium. It goes with pretty much anything else I serve. If they want a little bit of something they get upset when I give them a little bit and ask for more until it is up to the normal amount I would give.

As for the whole nation anthem thing, I would think that being a prior vet would have taught you respect for your fellow brothers. I was always taught that standing for the flag (also, removing your hat and shutting the fuck up) was a sign of respect not only for the flag/country but for all the soldiers who gave their lives to defend it. I can see where you are coming from though and hate for others to instill their sense of patriotism on others. I mean, if you wanted to stand, you would.

3

Yeah, I understand how some people can have no idea what it is they want (especially with eggs; I get confused myself, which is why I generally order scrambled). But I’ve gone out of my way to specify “burn it” or “butterfly it” or “extra well done”, so I think it’s got to be more of the they think they know what I want deal.

As far as the anthem: I was taught that standing was a sign of respect for the flag and soldiers, too, but I never believed it. Like I said, I find it an empty gesture; I, personally, see it as a basically ceremonial act that allows people to feel as if they’re “giving something back” while actually not doing jack shit - and if I’m not going to do jack shit, I prefer to sit down for it.

4

If you undercook a steak, you can still throw it back on the grill to cook it a bit more. Overcook a steak and you have to throw it in the trash. The restaurant is probably trying to avoid the trash thing. They bring out medium well steaks and you can say “please, cook it some more.” and all is still well. They bring out truly well done steaks and one of their more brain deficient clients is bound to say “You burnt it all up! bring me a new one!” and the restaurant is out one steak.

On the flag/anthem, just because you don’t believe standing is a sign of respect, doesn’t make it so. Standing has historically been a sign of respect, to leaders, officials, women, etc. I don’t know if it is a universal sign of respect across cultures, but it wouldn’t surprise me to find out it is. Is it ceremony? Yes. Your flaunting of the ceremony aspect is visualy the same as that other seated person who is expressing his lack of respect rather than his lack of ceremony.

5

Cheesesteak:

Makes some sense (the overcooked idea). I guess I’ll just have to be sure the waiter knows I know what I want. Although I’ve gotten medium steaks back after “Burn it!”, too.

As for the anthem/flag - maybe you’re right; but even if everyone else in the world believed standing was a sign of respect, I’d still think it was essentially pointless. And, as I said, I don’t respect the flag - the concept doesn’t even make sense to me. Nor do I respect the song. If I want to show veterans my respect, I’ll show them directly and (hopefully) meaningfully. And I see not going mindlessly along with traditions I don’t believe in to actually be a sign of respect for the stated ideals of my country.

6

wsbb: *I was taught that standing was a sign of respect for the flag and soldiers, too, but I never believed it. Like I said, I find it an empty gesture; I, personally, see it as a basically ceremonial act that allows people to feel as if they’re “giving something back” while actually not doing jack shit *

Well, we can get your point when you explain it here on a message board, but in a packed stadium, how can anyone tell the difference between you and a lazy asshole who simply has no manners, or someone who is deliberately expressing contempt for his country? I think you need a little sign that you can hold up to explain the reasoning behind your behavior.

Like it or not, conventional customs are usually interpreted in a pretty binary way: respect vs. non-respect. If you refuse to shake hands with somebody, they’re not likely to think “What an interesting reaction, I wonder what he means by that!” They’re much more likely to think “That son of a bitch is deliberately insulting me!” When you deliberately refuse to make a conventional gesture of respect, people are inevitably going to assume that you’re doing it to show disrespect.

I can admire people who flout (not flaunt) conventional customs for the sake of what they consider an overriding moral principle, but they have to be prepared to accept the consequences, like all practitioners of civil disobedience. You get no points for deliberately doing something that is conventionally considered to be rude and then bellyaching that people treat you as though you’re being rude. A shrug and a “duh” about covers it, IMHO.

7

Kimstu:

I have no problem with people treating me as if I’m rude. I understand how it’s likely to be interpreted. I don’t care if everyone in the stadium assumes I’m a contemptuous asshole, for that matter. What I have a problem with is when strangers try to make me do something I obviously don’t want to do for whatever reason, either by ordering me to follow along or by trying to physically force me to stand (which has happened). There are plenty of people who I deal with every day who are assholes; I don’t try to convert them to my way of thinking or bully them into following my definition of correctness, I leave them to be assholes, which is their right.

8

wsbb: *What I have a problem with is when strangers try to make me do something I obviously don’t want to do for whatever reason, either by ordering me to follow along or by trying to physically force me to stand (which has happened). *

Oh, there’s no question that trying to order or physically force strangers to stop behaving rudely is itself extremely rude. I guess you’ll have to let the consciousness of that sustain you, and I hope these misunderstandings don’t end up leading to your actual physical harm. You might want to consider providing yourself with that explanatory little sign, though.

9

If Anthony Bourdin has it right (and I’ve seen no reason to doubt him this far) the steaks usually reserved for “well-done” belong in the trash to begin with. According to *Kitchen Confidental[/] whenever the chef has some steak that’s been hanging around in the fridge too long, and starting to turn a bit bad, he’d rather burn it for someone like you than throw it away. After all, it’s not as if you’d tell the difference, and the cooking will probably kill off most of the bacteria.

Just FYI.

10

Yeah, the sign might be a good idea. Although, instead of explaining my moral position, maybe it would just be easier for everyone if I make one that says “I have painful corns”.

11

My biggest problem with the national anthem is that it requires a bigger vocal range than people generally have. I’ve hardly ever heard it sung well.

12

The song sucks; it’s one of the shittiest national anthems in existence. And strangers shouldn’t accost you for not standing for it. But most communication is not accomplished through our words, and you are communicating something whether you wish to or not. When you communicate something people don’t like, some people will react badly. You can’t control them, but you can control your own actions. So decide how much your “self-expression” is worth. Personally, I think that our national individualism has led to an irrational overvaluing of the concept of self-expression.

13

You could always stand and sing one of the little-known verses to the anthem, such as:

“And where is that band who so vauntingly swore
That the havoc of war and the battle’s confusion
A home and a country should leave us no more?
Their blood has wash’d out their foul footsteps’ pollution.
No refuge could save the hireling and slave
From the terror of flight or the gloom of the grave:
And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave.”

Might tick off any visiting Brits, but less likely to provoke a confrontation than not standing.

In some stadiums they will also now play “God Bless America” during the 7th inning stretch, and I can’t see standing for that one. It’s not our anthem and I don’t endorse the religious theme.

As for steak, I go for medium well and usually don’t have too much trouble. The other day I ordered duck though and it came out practically raw. Who eats raw poultry? Even when I sent it back it returned on the overly pink and flapping side. The chef was undoubtedly sending a message.
Anyway, Ulysses Grant insisted on well-done meat (he hated the sight of blood on his plate), so you’re in good company.

14

Listen, you shouldn’t judge a national anthem on musical merit alone. Nor should you sit on your ass, IMHO, just because you don’t like a song.

I recall having to observe morning and evening colors when our ship was in Argentina, and I was present at a wreath laying ceremony at the Arlington Tomb of the Unknown Soldier by the Argentine Army Chief of Staff.

Everyone present at the wreath laying (and I was a civilian at the time) had the good sense and decency to stand out of respect for the Argentine national anthem - all nine verses and twelve minutes of it.

15

I always wondered why that particular song got the official stamp of National Anthemhood. The lyrics are cryptic and overwrought. If you’re not paying attention, you don’t even know you’re singing about a flag. And the tune is annoying. I understand it’s taken from an English drinking song.

The Whitney Houston version of this song from the eighties is the only one I actually like hearing. Poor Whitney’s been through a lot since then, but she sure did a nice job with that National Anthem that one time.

16

I think both of your rants can be covered with one question:

Why do you hate America?

17

Don’t be a puss! If you feel so strongly about your position, stand by your convictions (or sit on your ass). People might feel some smittering of sympathy if they though you had corns.

18

Personally, I love the song. I have more than just the first verse memorized. Brilliant imagry.

But those who are advocating woodstock should stand just because otherwise he’s going to be physically assaulted are a lot more insulting to American values than someone sitting out a song. Do you really associate America with violent threats against people who hold different views?

Because if that’s your America, I’m going to sit it out.

19

Peer pressure - it’s not just for school anymore! :smiley:

20

I propose the following as socially appropriate responses in the 2 situations addressed in the OP:

Non-compliance with National Anthem: Discreet but noticeable “looks” in direction of party in question.

Ordering of steak well done: Arrival of steak accompanied by ketchup bottle.