Back in May I got laid off from a job I really liked due to COVID-19. Surprisingly, it only took me a few months to land my current job for more money and a better title at a rapidly growing company (basically a very senior technology engagement manager). So yea.
So after not even a month of doing my actual job, I’m pretty sure I hate it. Maybe “hate” isn’t the right word. Thinking of a job in terms of “like” and “hate” feels kind of frivolous. More like, from what I’ve seen, the way my boss manages our group and the company appears to run it’s business is not sustainable or compatible with where I am in my life at this point. I mean, aside from the part of my life that needs to be employed.
And this is factoring the additional complexities of COVID-19 and everyone working from home. I have never met any of my coworkers face to face, but I’ve managed to successfully lead multiple teams remotely for years.
Basically without going into too much detail, the place seems to be a culture where everyone is constantly double-booked for back to back meetings. I’ve already been assigned to lead two intensely demanding projects simultaneously, with no training or orientation to the company besides several weeks of learning how to use our software platform. My direct manager seems to have an attitude that “we do everything 300mph” and “we’re a startup”. Apparently engagement managers like me are the ones “responsible” for everything, so I’m sure I will immediately start catching shit as soon as anyone involved in my projects makes a mistake. By the time a project gets to me, I’ve had zero impact in discussing the budget, staffing, timeline or any other decisions that affect the success of a project. In fact it is already happening.
So far, what this feels like is that my role is the lynchpin a broken machine that links the people who do the actual work with the layers of salespeople and paper-pushers who do nothing but build Powerpoint decks. And I don’t want that job because I know how it goes. I’m going to spend months frustrated because I can’t get the resources I need to get the job done, while simultaneously having to eat shit from every salesperson, account manager, VP of bullshit or whoever who needs a convenient scapegoat to point to when whatever crazy dream they sold their client doesn’t come true.
To paraphrase Tommy Lee Jones from Under Siege, basically at this point in my career I’m tired of coming up with last-minute desperate solutions to impossible problems created by other fucking people.