Absolutely. The food we were told to push wasn’t bad, it wasn’t past its use-by date, and it was nicely prepared. It was perfectly good food.
But we were recommending it largely for economic considerations, rather than based on what the customer might actually prefer.
On the other hand, it’s nice to know “This is one of our signature dishes” or “This is something we do really well” vs. “This is only on the menu because people expect it at a restaurant like this.”
I’ll happily call BS on this.
Phrases like this go in and out of common use regularly. The notion that such changes reflect internal attitudes rather than current linguistic fashion is quite silly. As is the implication that attitudes are uniform within an age group.
In (at least) Australia and New Zealand, the equivalent phrase is essentially always “No worries.” I’d like to hope no one is silly enough to get into a discussion about the deep significance of northern hemisphere problems vs. southern hemisphere worries.
“No problem” and “you’re welcome” are what’s known as a “Phatic expression,” which are expressions that serve a social function (e.g. politeness, a greeting, etc) without conveying actual meaning beyond that function. So “no problem” and “you’re welcome” don’t really mean “it wasn’t a problem for me to help” or… I just realized I can’t even form what “you’re welcome” would literally mean (“I give my aid gladly?”). But regardless, these meanings are not used or intended most of the time.
Tom Scott has a great, short video on why phatic expressions can be perceived of vastly different rudeness depending on audience, with “no problem” being the headliner example. To me “you’re welcome” seems rude, at least strange, because of my age. Not because I have a different view of doing favors, just because to me my brain is socially hardwired to subconsciously think “the proper response to thank you is ‘no problem’ and anything else is subverting the proper rules of social interaction” because of the cultural context I was socialized in.
Now, just because expressions are phatic doesn’t mean we can’t derive social norms from them, or how they come across, or the sentiment behind them. The fact that culture has shifted from “you’re welcome” to “no problem” may say something about the changing notions and social dynamics around doing favors, but in and of themselves the phrases don’t have meaning.
I bartended with a guy who, when asked to recommend a drink, would always answer “bud light bottle” simply because it was the fastest thing to serve.
This is absurd. People get half portions of meals all the time. I’ve seen it happen. I don’t get half portions myself, but I do ask for my Thai curry to not have eggplant and my joint is happy to comply. Again, and for the last time, there is nothing wrong with making a polite request as long as you are willing to take no for an answer.
That is the last thing I have to say about this.
But while I’m here, Jragon is right about “Your Welcome” v. “No problem.” There is no greater meaning other than a polite sound made to acknowledge someone’s thanks.
Specials are made of things that restaurants want to get rid of before they have to pitch them. Some restaurants do put them specials on a card. Some do tell you the price without your having to ask. I’m sure each restaurant chooses its method because it produces more sales. Or they think it does.
I often do. It’s one way of discovering new things.
Not true. In a lot of restaurants they do some things well and some things badly. Servers know what’s most popular—that’s often the restaurant’s best fish and biggest earner.
Sometimes this ends up being a bad choice for you. That can happen even if you don’t ask.
Not true for me.
Agreed.
Exactly. This is silly cultural bias. What matters is the intent. To that person. this phrase is a polite reply, because that’s what E has learned. Getting annoyed by such differences in etiquette is ridiculous.
My pet peeve is when the service gets slow at the end of the meal. You’re ready for a check and to box up any leftovers you’re taking home, but you can’t flag down the waiter to save your life, and even when you do, it takes forever to get the check, get boxes, etc. and get out of there.
I mind slow service at the beginning of the meal a lot less: my companions and I are engaged in conversation, we’re looking over the menu, and if it takes several minutes for the waiter to get our drink orders, it’s OK, we’re occupied. But at the end, when we’ve eaten our fill and the conversation’s slowed down, I really notice the time it takes between the time we first try to get the waiter’s attention and the time we can actually pick up and leave.
I concur. I’m 65, and I use them interchangeably. “No problem” wasn’t even a thing when I was growing up, but it’s been part of the standard phraseology for decades now, and it’s sufficiently wormed its way into my brain that I’’ use it without a thought.
The ones that sound odd to me are “You’re alright, mate” (who asked you to evaluate me?) or “cheers” (what are we celebrating or toasting to?).
Sometimes I ask for lunch portions. Most of the time they comply, and most of the time they charge me the daytime price. No big deal if they don’t. I just take the leftovers home and get another meal or two out of them. I feel awkward doing that when someone else is paying for some reason though.
#1 — I agree, it’s annoying to have to ask for the price.
#2 — Sometimes I do this. I think it’s okay to ask what they like, or what are their most popular dishes.
#3 — It’s okay to ask for modifications. Some places are more accommodating to them, others not so much, and I’m fine with that too.
Polar opposite here. I don’t want to be hurried, I enjoy a leisurely night out. It pisses me off when I’m still eating and a server stops by, “need some boxes?”
In January we’ll be in St Martin, where dinner typically drags on late into the night. We usually make 8:00 reservations, and when we leave at 11 or 12, there are still plenty of folks lingering. After we finish our meal, at most restaurants the owner will stop by to sit and chat, then offer their complimentary after dinner shot. Half the time after finishing the drink we’ll ask the owner if they’d like to join us for some amaretto (on us).
Seriously, what’s the rush? 
As for #2, it’s not one asking ‘what would you recommend, this dish I usually love or this other dish I can’t stand, I can’t decide’. It’s asking for some expertise and personal experience. After all the same dish can be made very differently between restaurants.
My restaurant pet peeves have to do with slow service and sometimes high noise level. I find takeout usually to be a more comfortable eating environment.
Because 99 percent of the time eating out is not a leisurely event. We are eating out because we don’t have the time or energy to shop, cook, and clean. And we have to get up early for work.
Except for once or twice a year, we don’t eat out for leisure. We eat out because it’s convenient. When we are done eating, we want to leave immediately because there are things to be done and we have work the next day.
I hate it if I have to wait for a water refill or need a spoon (which for some reason isn’t a standard table setting) or have used dishes that are no longer needed (soiled dishes are gross—get them off the table). It’s annoying if I’m ready for the check and I can’t get anyone’s attention.
I want to be checked on frequently. That’s good service. If I don’t need anything, I just say “no.” What’s the problem? How is that rude? They’re not rushing us. They are making sure we get what we need.
I have a friend whose father will wait exactly X minutes after the last bit of food is eaten and then he will just get up and head for the door. He figures if the want to get paid they’ll catch him before he leaves.
Wow, I feel anxious just reading that.
Hey, I do too, but when we’ve decided we’re done and ready to go, we don’t want our evening artificially prolonged by the server’s inefficiency.
I don’t think this has happened to me in the past decade or so, so it’s way low on my list of peeves.
A biological clock that’s gonna wake me up at 4-5 a.m. regardless of what time I go to bed, for one thing. A 12 year old son, for another.
This is really a quite silly hijack. You’re the one claiming that someone is asking for a half portion for half price. I would expect that a half portion, if available, would be more like 75% the price of a full portion, since the food itself isn’t the major cost of a restaurant meal. And while a piece of prime rib on the bone would be difficult to subdivide, that’s not true of most meals. It’s pretty standard for a steakhouse to order a half rack or full rack of barbecued ribs, for example.
Really, the fact of the matter is “it depends.” Fancy restaurants may be unwilling to change their dishes. Many others may be entirely willing to do so. So really, there’s no harm in asking.
Are you only ever in a restaurant for “a night out”? Do most of your restaurant visits require reservations?
If so, we just see the function of a restaurant in our lives to be very different from how you see it. It’s integrated into our lives; it’s not a rare treat.
Our conception of eating out is not defined by a holiday in tropical paradise and we don’t expect the owner to be on the premises socializing with customers.
I’m definitely on Team RTFirefly on this. I don’t like being forced to linger indefinitely after I’m done eating.