Stupid customers: What not to do when dining out

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I knew that it would be trouble when they walked by the hostess stand and midway into the dining room. I greeted them with a confused look. I saw the hostess standing there slightly baffled too. When I asked how many, I was rudely answered with three. “Smoking or non?” was answered with the stare of death and an offended “NON-Smoking!”

I politely pointed them to the hostess and said she would seat them. Of course this was my lucky night. I got them. I approached the table with a smile on my face. This was going to be a long interesting night.

Me: Hi, how are you doing tonight?
Mother: Is there anywhere around here like a Piccadilly? You know cafeteria style?
Me: Not that I can think of.
Father: Oh well, we can eat here then.
Me: What can I get you to drink?
Father: Water.
Me: <standing there in silence looking at the other two>
Father: <pointing to son> He’ll take no ice in his.

I leave the table still forcing a smile and get their drinks. When I return, they look confused.

Father: Does the veggie chimmichurri pizza have meat on it?
Me: You can add meat if you would like.
Mother: But does it have meat on it?
Me: <thinking this is going to take a while> No, but you can add meat if you would like to.
Father: How big is the Eggplant?
Me: <showing them with my hands> About three pieces this big, stacked on top of each other.
Father: That’s not enough to feed him. <looking at his rather large son who’s in his mid twenties>
Mother: We want vegetables. Can we just order side dishes?
Me: Yes, they are $2.45 a piece.

They ponder this for a few minutes while I slip away to take care of my other tables. I put in a food order and come back. They’re still confused. After many more questions, they finally tell me that they don’t want any meat. Why they can’t tell me this from the beginning, I have no idea. So I go through the entire menu pointing out the vegetarian dishes to them and suggesting a few things they can do to the other meals to avoid any meat products.

Son: How much would a baked potato be?
Me: <biting my lip to keep from screaming> $2.45.
Son: Would it cost the same loaded?
Me: Yes.
Mother: But you would have to get it with no bacon. And you don’t like cheese.
Son: I don’t like butter either.
Me: So a potato with sour cream?
Son: No, I don’t like sour cream either.
Me: <I’m laughing by now. I can’t help it> So you want a plain potato?
Son: Yeah.

Several more minutes of answering the same questions over and over, they finally decide on a black bean burger for the son and a veggie burrito for the parents to split.

Me: You get one side item with those, what would you like?
Complete silence again.
Father: How much is that going to cost?
Me: It comes with the meal.
Son: <looking straight at it> What are they?
I point right down to where he’s reading.
Mother: How much does it costs?
Father: She already told you. It comes with the meal.
Son: What’s the island salad?
Me: Cucumbers, tomatoes and onions tossed in a lime cilatro vinagerette.
Son: Okay, that sounds good, I’ll take it.
Mother: What’s the jic-jic-jic…
Me: Jicama slaw. It’s made from jicama, a root. It’s got carrots and onions in it. <confused looks> Hold on a few minutes.

I walk away. My other table’s food is ready. I get a sample of the slaw and the food and run them both out.

Me: Here’s a sample for you to decide.
The parents each try a bite.
Father: Hmmm, it’s different. I don’t think you (the son) would like it. It kinda tastes like tomatoes and you don’t like tomatoes.
Me: <turning to the son> You might want to change your side dish if you don’t like tomatoes since it’s cucumbers, tomatoes and onions.
Son: Huh? I guess so. <looks down at his menu for another minute>
Mother: How about we’ll get the island salad and he’ll get the slaw.

Finally, an order! My other table is halfway through with their food. I had to give away a table during this time and I have another one that’s been sitting there for a few minutes staring at me, trying hard not to laugh at these people.

After all this they leave me $1.72 as a tip. I laughed so hard after they left that it was worth it.

2

Wowzers! You have my sympathies here.

3

Close encounter of the third kind.

Lots of space aliens out this time of year.

4

You know the real irony? They probably complained the whole way home about how YOU didn’t understand THEM when they were speaking simple English!

5

I almost forgot this part.

They let me know she was a diabetic. When it came time to suggest dessert, I let her know that unfortunately we didn’t have anything sugar free. She wanted to know if we had any brownie type of dessert with ice cream on top.

Maybe there’s something I’m missing, but aren’t diabetics suppose to avoid stuff that’s loaded with sugar?

6

LOL! I love the part with the “loaded” potato. Makes you wonder what was on loaded potatoes he’s had in the past!

7

IANA Doctor, but I am a diabetic. Yes, we should avoid them, but taken in small amounts and carefully watching the blood glucose level we can avoid problems and have some cake too. Diabetes is so insidious: the damage is done slowly, but it’s hard to reverse. Occasional high glucose levels won’t kill you outright, but like erosion a little damage is done each time.

I really like the part where they settle for your restaurant. I wonder if they would have left if you told them about a nearby cafeteria. Your boss may not have liked it but you would have been spared. Why do people do this- act as if they want to be somewhere else and make it miserable for all concerned?

8

I feel sorry for the son…he’s 20 some years old, and his parents are deciding what he should eat? Jeez…

9

Good god. I feel like I should send you the 19% they left off your tip. Do you take PayPal?

10

Amazingly their tip was about 10% of the bill. And I do believe that they thought they were doing good by leaving me that much.

I just keep telling myself that I only have two weeks left before I graduate and move. It’s the only way I’m making it through.

11

My favorite serving story is the one of the three middle aged ladies who I gave killer service to. Their bill ended up being about $40. They left me $3 and a bible tract thingy. (That’s what they’re called, right?) It SO made me want to go back to them and ask who accepted those for bill payment, my bank, Sprint, or the Power Board. :frowning:

~TygerD.

12

Why couldn’t you just have answered their question to begin with? It was a simple yes or no question.

13

Wow. Just wow. For a different take, I was in Indianapolis on Sunday and we decided to try Outback Steakhouse for dinner on the way back. Our server was fantastic, it was myself, my gf and her daughter. We were somewhat difficult as Denise and I shared a porterhouse, Miranda had the kids meal with a smoothie and Denise had the drink that came with the kids meal. Plus an appetizer (the Bloomin’ Onion, which I don’t recommend btw, undercooked onion…blech) for the three of us.

The waitress was incredible, she offered us a sample of the sauce, automatically made the kids drink larger for Denise at no charge, gave us two sides for the steak as we were sharing at no charge, offered to change the potato for cheese fries so we could try them after she heard me comment on them, filled the drinks, kept us updated on the status of the order, made sure to pull our orders ahead of the group of 25 that walked in right as we did since she heard us say we were traveling…it just went on and on.

the bill was ~$38 and I left her 18 dollars, her service made the dinner wonderful, it was not the best meal I have ever had, but the service was equal to that I have received from 4 star places in Chicago, better than a lot of them really. If I lived in her area I would have offered her a job on the spot, she was just one of those people that you can tell takes pride in their work.

Sorry you had some slack jawed yokels, remember there are people who do appreciate the work you do!

14

Good servers are gold. There is one at a local restaurant that we ask for by name when making reservations. I’ve seen her take orders from four tables without writing anything down, she knows the wine list like a somalier and makes appropriate suggestions, and has tried everything on the menu, so can speak intelligently about every dish. She also remembers your name after hearing it once. Incredible.

15

I don’t know how anyone has the patience to wait tables. I would last half a shift—if that—before I was hauled out kicking and screamimg, carrying the severed head of a customer on a silver platter, à la Salome.

16

But if you do that, Eve, how are you holding your lorgnette?
d&r

17

It does say veggie pizza right there.

18

“Veggie” doesn’t always mean “vegetarian”.

I’ve learned that the hard way.

19

Yep. I had “veggie eggrolls” that contained chicken broth and little bits of chicken meat. Bleah.

That being said, I would have worded it differently, I think: “Does the ________ have meat on it? I’m a vegetarian.”

20

Is there a meal server’s day? there should be for all the crap they get to put up with.