See also:
Count Stroganoff’s fangs were millimeters from my wife’s throat, when I lunged at its face with my mother’s crucifix, which I carried with me ever since she had died. “JESUS CHRIST!” the wurdulak shouted and was immediately engulfed and consumed by a massive ball of Holy Fire.
Everything is unfolding as planned. Please do not panic yet.
First came COVID-19. Then came the widespread apathy.
I found these on the intertoobs…
A mother called out to her daughter from another room. She began to search for her mother’s voice, only to be hastily pulled into a closet, where her mother whispered, “I heard it too.”
-Alysia Wilson
I can’t move, breathe, speak, or hear and it’s so dark all the time. If I knew it would be this lonely, I would have been cremated instead.
-Graboid27
You look like death,’ he said, brows furrowed with concern. A wide, wan smile crossed my face, flattered to be recognized, as I hooked him with my scythe and pulled him downward into the abyss.
- yesredditisaidit
It’s a hole. Nothing remarkable about it, save for the strange odor and faint, gurgling sounds coming from it.
He woke up and couldn’t figure out why he couldn’t roll over or sit up. Then he noticed all four of his limbs were across the room on top of the dresser.
One morning, as Gregor Samsa was waking up from anxious dreams, he discovered that in bed he had been changed into a monstrous verminous bug. He lay on his armour-hard back and saw, as he lifted his head up a little, his brown, arched abdomen divided up into rigid bow-like sections.
I was trying to write a post. Then @discobot showed up to help.
Hi! To find out what I can do, say @discobot display help.
See? I told you something horrible would happen. 
That one belongs in the “One Sentence Horror Stories” thread…where it has a damn fine chance of winning.
What? It wrote two sentences. It fits here just fine.
You are correct-For some reason I wasn’t seeing “Hi!” as a full sentence.
And for that reason (and because I didn’t get an Erector Set for Christmas), I am going to push The Doomsday Button!!
Czarcasm seems upset on his Doperversary. As he presses the Doomsday Button, the entire Doper sky begins to glow a scary unnatural chartreuse color.
I see what you did there.
As Stanley was reading his newspaper on the subway, he suddenly felt a menacing presence standing before him. He lowered the paper and saw a sweaty toad of a man grimacing to the point of pain and telling him “I picked you at random to stare at you accusingly the rest of your life.”
Bob wasn’t the first person to accidentally lock himself out of his vehicle. But he was the first to do it on a solo mission to Mars.
“Both minutes.”
Last night I had trouble sleeping. I didn’t know it was because of the thing that followed me home.