Two words that should never go together - Hasselhoff & Rap

[DeVena]

In the name of all that’s holy, please tell me that this is a hoax!

Ice-T Producing **David Hasselhoff ** Rap Album

After striking up a friendship in Los Angeles due to the proximity of their residences, Ice-T agreed to produce Hasselhoff, who will reemerge as emcee “Hassel The Hoff.”

“Hassel the Hoff”? Dear God, WHY!!! Won’t someone think of the children???

[Mr.Blue_Sky]

Well, that tops every one of my previous “The Apocalypse Has Arrived” threads for this is truly it.

Oh, and Ice-T? You’ll burn for this.

[Miller]

The title to this thread is entirely inaccurate, as I will now illustrate:

“I was walking down the street and I saw David Hasselhoff, so I gave him a hard rap in the face, then kicked him in the gut while he was on the ground, holding his broken nose.”

[verbenabeast]

oh for the love of… dear sweet heavenly… oh… sweet mother of crap! Ice-T… I thought he was supposed to be the real thing… what a pimp or whatever… now he… he is pimping DAVID HASSELHOFF!!!

welll…

hasselhoff is 'ho…

[Annie-Xmas]

I gave up after reading “Hasselhoff” and “Broadway” in the same sentence. Someone should write a book about this guy’s totally unfamtonable career. Wait a minute…I damn near put “Hasselhoff” and “Phantom” on the same sentence :smack:

[Chefguy]

Please. It’s no worse than Pat Boone doing heavy metal.

[Mr.Blue_Sky]

@Chefguy

Please. It’s no worse than Pat Boone doing heavy metal.

Yes it is.
KITT: “Michael, it’s time to bust a move.”

[cichlidiot]

This had me laughing so hard last night. Jimmy Kimmel talked about it and ended with the question, “Is there anything this man can do?”

[adhemar]

Look really good in a speedo? I would rather see him scantily clad than many of the “actresses” that are in the movies or on TV. Nobody seems to complain that Renee Zellweger can’t act and has a squinched up face to boot as long as she appears in lingerie. Just my opinion.

[Askia]

Y’all see this? www.madness-I-tell-you-madness.com

HOLLYWOOD. Following on the heels of the news that autere David Hasselhoff is partnering with rapper/producer Ice T to create a rap album sometime in 2004, another aging white former television action hero with musical inclinations has announced his intention to enter the hip hip arena.

Is it John Tesh? John Goodman? Dear Sweet Merciful God In Heaven Above, it’s not Shatner, is it?

Here’s a hint. This actor won’t be giving up his day job. He’ll be “Moonlighting.”

Bruce Willis, aka rock star Bruno Radolini, is ready to take on the world of gangsta rap. Bruno (or “NOOooOoooOOOooo!!!” for short) will be partnering with west coast record Death Row CEO Suge Knight, former good rapper Snoop Dogg and hookmaker Pharell “Ubiquitous” Williams of N.E.R.D…

Explains Knight, “I heard that Hasselhoff shit, right, and I damn near shit myself laughing at that shit, right? And I said sheeeeee-it, I just know I can pull some shit that’s crazier’n that shitty-ass shit. Who can I get to sign up, who maybe owes me poker money? Then I thought: Bruce.”

While Willis’ former wife Demi Moore graciously declined to comment after her eight minute laugh on the floor, her barely legal boytoy Aston Kutcher said, “This is damned exciting news. Wow. I hope when I get his age I get senile just like him!”

The announcement has its share of critics, including east coast rapper P.Diddy, who offered, “Next time my therapist complains about my lack of good judgment, I can tell her I at least passed on this.”

To those who scoff that Willis lacks the hard edge and necessary street cred to pull off a rap persona, Willis himself says he’s got just four words to say to that: “Yippee-ki-yay, muthafuckers!”

Look for the album, “Inarguable Proof of the Apocolypse,” in stores this year.

[Snooooopy]

“One man CAN make a lousy album.”

I’d rather hear KITT rap. That, or Bunny take off all her clothes and touch herself.