O.K., I was dumb enough to do this but at least I was not dumb enough to walk away and leave it unattended. Thus, I averted disaster.
When I started my shift last night, it took me forever to count the cash drawer because all 20 of the $5 bills were brand spanking new. It was nearly impossible to slide one bill apart from another, the crisp new bills clung together.
I decided I would solve the problem. This only happens with new bills. Old bills don’t cling together like this. How does one make new bills more like old bills?
I separated each of the 20 $5 bills and crumpled them each up. I then gathered the balled up bills in my hands and held them under running water. Then I squeezed as much of the water out from the bills as I could.
Now to dry the wet bills: the break room microwave!
I flattened out the wet bills and laid them out in the microwave and set it to nuke.
Again, at least I was smart enough not to leave the scene unattended. As soon as I realized that I couldn’t tell if I was witnessing steam or smoke, I immediately stopped the microwave and opened the door.
No great damage. About five or six of the bills had some crispy brown spots, but not so much as to render them unrecognizable or unusable.
But your manager might stop you when she sees you crumpling up the new $20s and yell at you. She won’t listen to your explanation, that they were sticking together and you were doing this to prevent that - you’d almost given someone $20 extra in change and didn’t want to repeat it and come up short at the end of the night.
Stupid manager. Luckily, my shift was only about an hour longer, so I didn’t have to deal with it for too long. I still hope she was short that night.
See, I’ve never found this to be enough. It would be better than taking no action at all, but there would still be too much cling. I would always crumple, smooth, then intersperse the new bills with old bills: old, new, old, new.
This time, however, it was all new bills- no old bills to intersperse. So, I wanted to step up the game a bit.
Ah, and this is why I am happy that I work alone. The graveyard shift has its benefits.
Almost - the strip you can see when you hold a bill up to light is metallized polyester, more popularly known as Mylar, and easily capable of crating hot spots when microwaved.
I wonder where you work and how high up the chain you are. You could reasonably be fired for removing cash from the drawer and taking it to the break room.
I do or see this sort of thing every so often. What seems like a perfectly good idea goes wrong. Wrong because of something you knew, just didn’t remember at the time. It’s why the :smack: smiley was invented.
The only thing that makes it worse is when there’s an audience and you get yelled at. I can take it if I get pointing and laughing. It’s the yelling that hurts because it’s redundant. I’m already kicking myself!
So no worries in my book–everybody’s done something goofy (my sister used to wash and iron her money and once singed a couple bills) and we all ought to have a little understanding.
Hmmmm, you say I could reasonably be fired for taking cash into the break room? Not “if your boss is a paranoid unreasonable psycho you could be fired for this” but, rather, “reasonably be fired”?
Start of my shift: verify that the cash drawer, received from the person I am relieving, is $XXX.xx and sign for it.
End of my shift: person relieving me verifies that the cash drawer is $XXX.xx, same total as when I received it, that person signs for it.
Between receiving the cash at the start of my shift, and passing it on at the end of my shift, I could stuff it all into my socks- as long as it’s returned to the drawer when my relief counts it. I could trade bills from my wallet out for Sacajaweas that might be in the drawer- the total when I pass the drawer on is still $XXX.xx. I could stamp “John 3:16” on every sawbuck - the total when I pass the drawer on is still $XXX.xx. In fact, I regularly get my quarters for laundry day from making change at work. What “reasonable” employer is going to deduce that there is theft despite the fact that the drawer is not missing any money.
Maybe I’m just higher up the chain than I thought I was.
I will concede that had I set the cash aflame I would be facing some serious discilinary action.
I did actually think of this, but I was under the impression that those strips were only in $20 bills and $100 bills. I took a close look at a few of the $5 bills before I microwaved them. If they had those strips, I could detect no evidence of it.
Ah well I guess retail or what ever is a little less strict about where the money gets off to. Our truck drivers receive cash/checks from the customers and sign the receipt along with the customer after verifying the amount and the cash/check goes into the money pouch with the receipt and doesn’t leave the bag, at all, until turned in to the girl in charge of collections.
One assumes they’re not making change, then. “Retail or whatever” does require handling of the money during the shift, even without bringing microwaves into it.
create a fan with a stack of new bills by spreading them
then crumple like mad
then put them back in a stack
this way the crumples arent all lined up in the same spots on each bill, works great.
Found it!
Wow, you really have to hold it up to the light to see it. When the strips were new, I remember being slightly fascinated by them- observing them on the $20’s. At that time I thought they were more visably obvious. Since that time, I’ve paid no attention to them whatsoever. So, I don’t know if they were more obvious when they were new or if I’m misremembering them as being more obvious (since, at the time I was actually looking for them).
At any rate, because I imagined them as being obvious, I just made a cursory glance at the $5’s and didn’t notice.
Indeed, the most badly burnt of the bills do have the brown crispy burned spots all at least tangental to the strips. I think this is sufficient evidence to blame the strips.
